MONDAY MOMENTS

I left a comment on dear Jon's blog today. Funny how my relationship with Monday has changed since not working. I have never been and surmise, will never be a morning person.  I hate getting up early especially on Mondays. Hopefully my next job will come with a clause of not working Mondays. Friends of mine, a couple, have invited me over to their pool this afternoon. They haven't for the most part left their house, but their lucky these have a paradise. I look forward to,.......oh the phone is ringing, excuse me a minute.

Hello.

Oh, hi mother.

No, not a good time. Im doing another blog. You always seem to get me in the middle of a blog.

No, it's not a show. It's the online dairy of sorts.

Oh my apologies this might be awhile.

You need how much?

$150 dollars?

I just sent you money last week mother.

You did what with it?

You bought a one piece bustier and fishnets and a blond platinum wig???

What in hell for?

You did a online tribute to Madonna for her birthday? 

All Madonna songs.

Oh mother I wish you wouldn't do things like that at your age, you may fall and break something.

Last time you performed you fell right off the stage.

Your ass is already cracked?

I have the feeling that's not the only thing. See the lip I get?

No mother I doubt she saw it.

Why would she watch some shitty Instagram live show?

Oh, because Lindsay Graham watches it.

No mother, I told you I will not pursue anything more with Aunt Pitty Pat. I told you he got too weird after that sex on the lawn mower bit. Besides, when we had sex last, my voter card fell out and he saw I'm a registered Democrat... he was not happy.

Yes, he beat the shit out of me with a bottle of poppers and my marabou fan!!!

Yes for the best. 

You got a call from Aaron Schock?

No, mother ignore him too. 

Besides, he's way to young for you and your missing one major piece of equipment he desires dear.

You have needs??? 

I don't want to hear this mother.

I don't care if he did want to take to the Republican convention. He's desperate for friends dear.

But you wanted to go? Why?

You wanted to throw water filled condoms at trump, his family and guest?!?!?!?!?

Well, I don't disagree, that would be great fun, but I think you'll land in jail mother if you do that.

Oh. Ice Pick, from the BLM riot's is the one who wants to take you there.

Your going to picket and boycott.

Well I guess that will be alright.

You bought 40 copies of my last covid pamphlet and passed them out to your friends?

Well that explains the sales.

No no, that's alright I don't want to know what other household items you came up with.

Well. I'll send you more money. Just no more shows on online for those republican's Mother.

You need this money, because your hairdresser wants to take to to Firey Island?????

Um mother, it's Fire Island, and I don't think that's a good idea. 

Id' rather you do your shitty shows then if that's the case.

Yes, save the money for your Poise pads dear. 

Yes... as good as in the mail.

Yes the next pamphlet I working on now. 

It's called Covid Make up- It's All About Wearing less Make Up and making for a Dramatic Eye.

Well, yes it is a long title, but that's the whole pamphlet.

Ok mother. Ill send the money, but no Fire Island.

Ok . good bye mother.

Do you see what I have to put up with? Just over the weekend she called and woke up on a bus playing a pan flute to who knows where. So I had to do a Western Union. Now I don't know where I was going, just enjoy these pictures of summer fun shall we?