Friday, February 19, 2021
Thursday, February 18, 2021
Wednesday, February 17, 2021
Tuesday, February 16, 2021
It's yet another day I can get behind! It's also big business in Pennsylvania. The Pennsylvania Dutch celebrate Shrove Tuesday, today, by eating potato doughnuts which are lovingly called fastnachts...and shouldn't be confused with store bought doughnuts or those of Dunkin. A true traditional fastnacht has no hole in the center, is potato based, and is a very light, pillowy, fluffy, often rectangular shaped, dough ball. The name fastnacht is German for "fast night". It is a day to forget about dieting and a slim waistline and feast on these things. The day began as a German tradition. Traditionally, the fastnachts are made to use up the lard, sugar, butter, eggs, and other rich foods in the house pantry before the austere diet of Lenten. It was thought if one filled up on these treats, you'd wouldn't be hungry as much while fasting.
Since Pennsylvania Dutch families were quite large, when the haus frau began to fry the raised fastnachts to use up the rich ingredients before Lent in her warm kitchen, the tantalizing smell of these raised cakes lingered in the farmhouse. As you'd suspect, the wiser members of the family were awoken by the smell, and realized that if they got up early, they could share in mothers treats. But the lazier ones may have continued sleeping, while the other siblings enjoyed the treat with a beverage. The last person up on Shrove Tuesday was called the "fastnacht" and was often kidded all day along for being late for this wonderful breakfast.
Its one day that still and always will have, I suspect, fond memories for me of my grandmother. When I was a wee one and she baby sat me, I can remember her getting me up at the crack of dawn, where I went off with her to her ever faith church with about 20 other church ladies. They'd be there in house dresses, hats and aprons. They would makes hundreds of fastnachts and sell them in bags of four, plain and some powdered. The line would often be out the door from the congregation hall. Of course, every little old lady took pity, and when the others weren't looking, they would give me one. Needless to say after 8 I would feel sick. But I can still see and hear the church on those days. And the smell. But my grandmother I think knew I was snuck some, because once back at her house, I never ate any. To this day it's a wonder I'm not a porker.
This year with COVID I don't think any churches are having Shrove Tuesday sales...but traditional neighborhood bakeries should, if they have any sense. I called C'est la Vie, the French bakery in New Hope last week, and put an order in. Yesterday, and Shrove Tuesday is the only time they make these. I picked them up yesterday, after walking dogs, they were piping hot too. The owner also put that sign out up at the top of the post so people know some background on fastnacht day. I got a dozen, and will give 6 to my lumbersexual neighbor. These are mine....
Monday, February 15, 2021
Sunday, February 14, 2021
Well, just in time for Valentine's!!!!
A day of love or sex , or both, not to mention the gorging of candy and other sweets treats. This year finds many with some major restrictions on a normal day of festivities if you celebrate the day.Stay at home orders (is anyone even following them anymore?), social distancing and masking it, is a universal conflict for couple and singles, and has made a new conundrum on what to do and how to do it. But no worries dears, my newest pamphlet, How To Celebrate, Debauch, and Enjoy the Hot Loving of Valentines During the Pandemic, is HERE!!!! Pam, since early years always loved Valentine as a young Demic...well, at least till I got caught trying to shove my junk into one of those class made valentine boxes for little Mikey. I was trying to give him what he wanted!!!
One good thing to do is creating a Bubble of Love! My personal favorite! How about some sexy lingerie and underwear and set the scene for a steamy evening...nothing like recreating a sexy version of Petticoat Junction...you can even work in chains and ropes! Then a rousing game of Enchanted Evening, a game about your goals and each others sexual desires. Followed by a luxury bath where you both pretend to be loofahs and clean each other off. And then dust off the 4" of dust off the sexual guide book and try some new things and positions. I recommend my own pamphlet, "Sizzling Sex for Life to Bring Out Your Inner Slut and Leave You Exhausted."
Saturday, February 13, 2021
Since it's Valentines, you just knew it would be a matter of time before the Mistress brought back in some of my favorite confection to the Candy Shop...South American.
Friday, February 12, 2021
Now... for those of you wondering, no Scrotox is not the sister group to Drag Race's Rolaskatox. Scrotox is a real thing...and it's becoming even more poplar. As if the beauty and cosmetics industry doesn't already put enough pressure on everyone to have every square inch in pitch perfect shape! Now, I'm all about keeping fit, and eating right most of the time, and will keep a very regimented skincare routine, and even pamper myself with massages, but I'm here to tell yawl, I'm no about to get botox injections in my balls, hell, I don't even do them on my face. But Scrotox is the latest trend in extreme grooming for men and has come across from Europe. In fact, doctors are expecting this new procedure to become significantly more popular in 2021.
I blame these damn Instagram influencers and porn stars, who seem to be the major suckers, opps, I mean consumers, of this procedure. One of my favorite big, young, and very dumb hunks, Reno Gold swears by it. Thank god he's pretty. But to be honest, he always had very nice big low hangers anyway, and I don't know they look different to me. Visual aids for your viewing pleasure......
Thursday, February 11, 2021
..... Spicy, red hot and pink Valentines Realness, bring the sugary sweet confections to the runway....