STOP THE CAR...I SMELL AN IGNORANT BITCH

 

Being an animal lover, you just knew this story would burn me up. I was deeply appalled over the weekend to hear of the great gorilla that was shot to it's death to rescue a child.  Witnesses said the child had expressed a desire to get into the enclosure and climbed over a 3-foot barrier, falling 15 feet  into a moat. All this after crawling under two sets of wires and a hedge. How does a kid get that far and the parents don't see it???? Zookeepers took down the 17-year-old ape after he dragged and tossed the child, officials said. 

 

Police may bring criminal charges over the Cincinnati Zoo incident in which the gorilla was killed to rescue the 4-year-old brat, who had fallen into its enclosure. And I say go for it! What I'd like to know is where in hell were the dammed parents????? I hear the parents had multiple children? Well, if you can't handle one, they shouldn't have any. I can't tell you how many times in our store, kids go missing, break things, or wander off, all the while their fricking, sickingly smug , Lily Pulitzer wearing mother is on the cell phone, gossiping about what she is getting, all the while paying no mind to wear their brat is! Then, they get mad at us for not minding the squalling brat. I didn't ask to have the kid, you did, so don't lay your kid at my doorstep. Get off you phone before I shove it so far up your ass, you'll have to break wind to answer the next call!!!!! WHEW. *powders- regains composure*

 

The death of Harambe, the 450-pound gorilla, also prompted the animal rights group Stop Animal Exploitation Now to file a negligence complaint on Tuesday against the zoo with the U.S. Department of Agriculture. The group is seeking the maximum penalty of $10,000.The group said in its complaint letter that the child's ability to get past the barrier was proof the zoo was negligent and should be fined for a "clear and fatal violation of the Animal Welfare Act."Mounting outrage over Saturday's killing of the Western lowland silverback, an endangered species mind you, sparked criticism of both the zoo and the child's parents. Online petitions  like Justice for Harambe, if your inclined, drew more than 500,000 signatures demanding "Justice for Harambe."Cleveland Police are taking a second look at possible criminal charges in the incident after initially saying no one was charged. There was no indication of whether the investigation would focus on the zoo or the child's parents.

 

I for one don't think the zoo should be held responsible except for maybe better measures around the exhibits. I could tell they were very heart broke to have to do what they did. From the video I saw, it almost looked as if Harambe was protecting the child, and slowly got anxious from all the yells for help. I'm torn personally on zoos. While for some species near extinction, it is good to help protect them, but I feel as though on the other hand, it's not any different than a circus, where they will live life locked up on display, without the tricks. But apparently as witness this weekend, they aren't safe in a zoo now either. I hope that brat is happy with himself. Another reason brats shouldn't be seen or heard. This is exactly why some species eat their young. I'm off to sign..

A LONG MEMORIAL WEEKEND

 

So glad it's the long Memorial Day Weekend!!!!!!

 

The boids are confused by Old Glory in the window...

 

All guest have arrived and we have departed for the Pocono Mountains to one of the clans friend's cabin in the woods for a good old fashioned cook out!!! I just hope my Aqua Net coiffure doesn't go up. Yesterday before leaving NYC, and entertaining the sailors, I enjoyed a roof top cocktail hour and then had a lovely late luncheon at the Casa du Borghese. With all rested, it should be a long overdue weekend with some lounging in the woods, cock-a-tails, campfires and some skinning dipping! I will most likely be off the grid completely...I understand cell and internet connection are very poor, so I most likely will be out till we get back next Tuesday. Should I need help, I will fire off my flare gun, that features bright pink and purple streaks. Or just follow the gin trail.

 

Lets us not forget and be thankful for the true meaning of the holiday...those one have fought for what we enjoy today!

 

Have A Happy Memorial Day ALL!

💋

HOLIDAY WEEKEND...A PIMM'S PARTY

 

I know what your thinking. What, the Mistress is stepping out with someone other than Gin?!? Why yes I say. What with the Memorial Day Weekend about to commence and the welcoming of summer, what better time for one of my other favorite drinks....PIMM'S! And it's gin based, why of course.

 

I came across these fascinating archives of vintage adverts showing the birth of the so-called 'Pimm's party' that emerged to mark the launch of the drink's first new flavor in 190 years. The adverts date back to the 1950s when the economy took a nosedive after the Second World War and many people socialized at home to save money. It is thought the marketing team behind the gin-based drink realized this and launched the idea of a Pimm's party as a way to encourage sales of the beverage.

The company sent out leaflets in 1950s to the 1960s which included top tips for the perfect social gathering. The marketing campaign worked and The 'Pimm's Party' soon became popular. Party suggestions included games such as Flipping The Kipper,(we have our own version of this at the casa which takes place in the pool) where guests were instructed to race paper fish by flapping them with cardboard. Another was the Match Box Race, in which two rows of people passed a matchbox from their nose to another person's, but DON'T ASK how we play this at the Casa!!!!!

 

Pimm's soared in popularity because it cost just around $12 a bottle which served 14 half pints when mixed with lemonade. Even today Pimm's is still cheap, I got several bottles today, at around $18. The drink was deemed a perfect accompaniment to small snacks at parties because it was initially invented as an aperitif. The recipe for Pimm's was created in the 1840s by James Pimm, who was a fishmonger and owner of an oyster house. He came up with the secret concoction of gin, herbs and liqueurs and served it in a small mug known as a Number One Cup as an aid to digestion. There were also other variations of the drink made with rum, scotch, brandy, rye, and vodka, but they were later discontinued.

 

I myself find it to be a wonderfully refreshing summer beverage, which I will be making today later when I have the Lad and four of the clan coming, and staying over tonight before we head to a mountain retreat for the holiday weekend, quite a change from the usual beach kick off.

I make mine with a good dose of Pimm's, mixed with plenty of ice, lemon -lime soda, and add a nice lime wedge and cucumber slice!!! I can't tell you how refreshing these are and go down like mother's milk!

 

I can't think of a better way to kick off the summer then with some of these cool drinks, a simple and cool luncheon, and some good friends for some debauchery.

A SAY SOMETHING HAT DAY!

If you know me you'll know I love me ALOT of chapeau. The bigger the better. I say go big or go home. A milliner these days is as hard to find as a good cobbler in my opinion. But today should be a say something hat day for sure...for it is Philip Treacy's birthday today!!!

Philip Treacy is an Irish milliner and designer based in London. He moved to Dublin in 1985 to study fashion at the National College of Art and Design, where he made hats to go with outfits he designed. From there, in 1988, Treacy won a place on the MA fashion design course at the Royal College of Art in London, where he graduated in 1990 with first class honors. In 1989 he took one of his hats to Michael Roberts, fashion editor of Tatler magazine, and his style editor, Isabella Blow.  Blow asked Treacy to make a hat for her to wear for her wedding, and invited him to live with her and her husband Detmar in their home, from which Treacy started working. And the rest was history.

 

"Hats are radical; only people that wear hats understand that"

"How a hat makes you feel is what a hat is all about"

"Wearing a hat is fun; people have a good time when they're wearing a hat."

"Hats are the epitome of Englishness, and a royal wedding is the penultimate moment for a hat designer. I'm Irish, but I am a royalist and I believe in fantasy."

"Fantasy hats give you the possibility to dream."

"Hats are the epitome of Englishness, and a royal wedding is the penultimate moment for a hat designer. I'm Irish, but I am a royalist and I believe in fantasy."

NAB A SAILOR, IT'S FLEET WEEK!

I just got done with our Pride festivities, and now I have to go to the city this week, which is fine with me hunties.... what a better time then during Fleet Week!!!

There's just something about one of these military men that's so appealing. They're usually young, in excellent shape, clean, neat, and, most importantly, shipping out in a few days, the Mistress's favorite part. This is not the man you're going to marry, just a fun little fling. He's a knight that comes in his own shining armor. In fact, that all-white get-up is so shining, it's often blinding, making one sailor hard to tell from the next. Or was it just the gin??? And that's fine. You don't need to be picky.  They come here each year for a week of fun and freedom and I'm guessing, searching the Mistress out from all the folklore they'd heard, even though some of these Navy men will have to work doing community service and other sorts of public outreachy things. Remember: This is just a big publicity stunt to make people love our armed forces, and if it's love they want,  by damn it, they'll get it. I'm all about doing my part to make them feel better I tell ya. Here's how you can take advantage with my helpful tips to seducing one of the 3,000 seamen... who will be in town this week!!!!

 

Go Where the Boys Are: They've set up a command center on Pier 88 in Midtown near where the Intrepid is eternally moored. This would be a great place to start. In fact, most of them don't bother leaving Midtown, so stick close to the area. Make sure to have the come hither look.

Dress the Part: These military men are going to be ready to hit on everything that moves, but the government has them trained to be well-behaved. How to make a statement without saying a word? Your outfit. A little bit of unbuttoned shirt for me and a nice pair of tight slim fit jeans and for the women, a skirt and a shorter skirt than usual should do the trick. And heels. Get all done up in your girlie finest and show lots of skin. And guys , don't be afraid to give a hint of what you were blessed with either. These guys get plenty of macho when they're at work. Show off a thigh, or that nice basket on display, and you'll have someone up your dress, or down your jeans in no time. Oh, and wearing the good underwear goes without saying!!!

Get Them Drunk: The Mistress has this more then covered. The one problem with Fleet Week is that the demand for sailors will far exceed the supply, EVEN for MOI. Yes, they'll all want to get laid, but there will be plenty of people willing to entertain them for an evening. What do you do if you're maybe not as attractive as some of the other girls and guys in the bar? Give our men in white the other thing they want: booze! After a few cocktails, you'll look just fine to take home, and they'll be so grateful for the drinks, that they'll show their gratitude all night, Straight or not, trust me dears! Just don't go overboard. There's nothing worse than getting him home to find out there's not going to be any ammo in his gun.

Have a Place to Crash: Aside from alcohol and loose whores, the other thing that is at a premium on a large vessel is privacy. Having your own place is key to getting a sailor back home. He's probably still crashing on his boat, so you can't go there, and he's not going to want to deal with your roommates or your parents or your boyfriend or whatever other squatters are cluttering up your abode. Spring for a cheap hotel room for the night. He won't care if it's a fleabag no tell motel in Times Square as long as there's a bed and a bit of solitude, and a outlet that needs plugged. Carry a can of Febreze and some moist towelettes. They do wonders to a cheap room.

 

Wait Outside of Strip Clubs: If you're really having a hard time meeting that sailor, then just skulk around any of the strip clubs in Midtown, or go-go boy bars. This is the strange thing about strip clubs, they get the guys all worked up, but most of these petty officers don't have the cash to afford to, well, get off with one of the working help. Where does that leave them? Walking home alone, half-drunk, and with nothing in their wallet but a swelling problem in their pants. All you have to do is be there dears...and all the work up to is already done for you.  Work smart not hard dears!

 

Be a Closer: Like I said, there's going to be a lot of competition for these boys. Also, they'll be around their friends and probably alcohol, which could lead to diversion. Don't be the one who spends a bunch of time working a sailor and then goes home empty-handed. Don't be shy, go for what you want girl, and you'll have a Fleet Week story all your own. Hell, you may even entertain one and his friends!!!! And, for the love of Christ, when you nab him or them, please use a condom, or else you'll be telling the story about how you enjoyed seafood for the next month from Fleet Week. Excuse me now, I must polish up on my nautical rope knot skills.......

II'LL BE RECEIVING SHORTLY.......

 

Oh dear. I am still recovering from the social whirlwind and will be with you momently and ready to starting receiving. It was a long weekend, filled with all kinds of festivities, and I have learned two things. One- I thought to myself, I can't keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, Don't listen to him, he's drunk.

 

And two- if a cop asks "Have you been drinking, your eyes look red and hazy",not a good idea to reply with "have you been in a donut shop, your eyes looked glazed."

 

Sometime, I really should just drink some water and surprise my liver. See ya soon.......

WALK LIKE NAOMI CAMPBELL

There's no doubt that Naomi Campbell is an icon. The British beauty is not only one of the world's biggest supermodels, but she can also add impressive roles including TV producer and entrepreneur to her ever-growing list of accolades. Renowned for her outspoken and fearless personality, and talents with a cell phone, the star continues to make waves in the industry. Happy Birthday Naomi!!!

"Am I bossy? Absolutely. I don't like to lose, and if I'm told 'no,' then I find another way to get my 'yes.' But I'm a loyal person."
 

 "I make a lot of money and I'm worth every cent."

 

"I don't worry about a number. I'm fine with aging."

 

"Anger is a manifestation of a deeper issue... and that, for me, is based on insecurity, self-esteem and loneliness."

 

"I've been at the top of the modelling industry for more than 20 years. I know what it takes."

 

"I don't think I was born beautiful. I just think I was born me."

 

"I'm an easy target. I have a reputation for losing my temper, so people believe things."

FROM THE CANDY SHOP-FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE

As you may know being a regular guest here, the Mistress like two kinds of men. Foreign and domestic.  Well, do I have a very special reserve confection just for you today. Lately, I have been a tad, alright EXTREMLY OBSESSED with this model, singer, dancer and chorographer. He is handsomely hot, with a sly mischievous look, a scorching cut body, and a look from those eyes to get my kitty ppppppuring and take my clothes off with no questions asked. He just, well... two words.

Willie Gomez!

Just a tad obsessed I said.