Monday, January 31, 2011

From Rod Wax Into Vaseline!

If there is one thing the Mistress can't stand about the winter months it's the cold temperatures and the dry skin you get from it. Is it about winter sweaters, or hot chocolate, or snuggling or less light at night? No! I associate dry skin with the winter winds. The Mistress maintains her skins suppleness with Vaseline for my extremities. And after this weekend of all that walking and cold, I tend to get callused skin on my heels. Many people in the organic beauty industry look down on Vaseline as a miracle remedy, but the studies done on Vaseline are inconclusive as to its health detriments. That’s why I use Vaseline to keep my rough spots smooth. But what is Vaseline?

Vaseline, also know as petroleum jelly, has been in use since the 1860’s. A chemist from New York, who upon visiting an oil rig, noticed the raw material of petrolatum, a gooey substance known as “rod wax”, as I try to say that with a straight face, stuck to the drilling rigs. After much experimentation, he developed a process to distill the rod wax into petrolatum. In its pure form, petrolatum is considered safe, but its varied and unregulated manufacturing procedures make the goopy jelly vulnerable to contamination by foreign elements, which may or may not pose cancer risks or other health issues. There is generally no way to know how the petrolatum was manufactured. Hence the big question, “Should I use it or not?” In moderation I am sure it is fine.

Vaseline is not just for personal grooming, it can do a host of things. Some, which will amaze you. Here is a list of some of Vaseline’s many uses:

1- From being on her feet on day I really use the vaseline on my feet for the heels and whole under foot. Then put a sock on overnight. Voila, soft feet the next day. No one night trick wants to feel sandpaper scrapers under the sheets!

Remove watermarks on wood.Your most recent trick left lots of watermark rings on your wood furniture. To make them disappear, apply petroleum jelly and let it sit overnight. In the morning, wipe the watermark away with the jelly.

3-Eject wax from candlesticks.The long tapers you used at last night’s party were a beautiful sight until you saw the candle wax drippings left in the candle holders. Next time apply petroleum jelly to the insides of the holders before you put the candles in. The wax will pop out for easy cleaning.

4- Keep a bottle lid from sticking.

5-When doing drag once the Mistress ran out of her favorite shade of eye shadow. What to do now? It’s easy — make your own. Add a bit of food coloring to petroleum jelly and apply as usual. This is a quick way to make stopgap blush, lipstick, or eye shadow.

6-Moisturize your lips and more.If you don’t want to pay a lot for expensive lip balm, makeup remover, or even facial moisturizer, it will work for all these things.

7-Use as a lube. Lets not beat around the bush people,of course the creative gays from the 1960's and 1970′s have been using Vaseline as a lubricant. That is why all these 70 year old queens have the face of a shriveled prune, but the man goods of a twenty one year old!!! I would not recommend using vaseline with condoms, but as a jelly to play with yourself should be perfectly fine and fun! A Rod Wax!!!

8-Vaseline can also get chewing gum off things left from those little bastards from next door sticking it under your lovely boudoir chair, it can also remove lipstick stains and heal windburn.

So you see Vaseline really is a very inexpensive way to solve many daily problems with not spending a ton of money for different products. Can any other product remove a broken light bulb, heal dry skin, soften lips and act as a lube??? It is pretty hard to find one, although I'm not ready to give up the Gun Oil just yet!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

A Weekend of Balenciga & Barbque

The Mistress is happy to report that she enjoyed herself over the weekend for her winter vention, and is so glad I made it to the stunning Balenciaga Exhibit at the Spanish Institute. After meeting up with my good friends, Mame and Kailyn who was in from San Fran, and, of course, after a nice cold draft or two, we head to the exhibit.

If you go to the exhibition, which was organized by Hamish Bowles at the suggestion of Oscar de la Renta, a protégé of Balenciaga’s, and chairman of the institute, you will be rewarded with top examples of the couturier’s designs — the flamenco-style gowns, the fichu stoles and matador-inspired hats, the evening dresses that seemed to follow the austere sweep of a nun’s wimple — borrowed from archives and private collectors. Mr. Bowles, a Vogue editor, and the curator of the 2001 Jacqueline Kennedy exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, knows his way around Balenciaga. He is putting together a second, larger exhibition next spring at the de Young Museum in San Francisco.

The exhibition is presented on two floors, giving a separate view to clothes inspired by the Catholic church, like a crimson coat and a severe black evening dress that must have been based on a priest’s cassock, and another view to more festive garments influenced by flamenco and the bullring. On both floors are examples of Balenciaga’s stunningly simple dresses and suits. I also was sooooo pleased they had three of my two favorites pieces from his collection on hand to view. The Mistress soooo needs that first one for her wardrobe!

Also upstairs was a replicated fashion house salon where the upper crust would go in private to view his collections. The room was stunning and there was a film reel being played with footage from the runway shows in his fashion house. And so many interesting facts learned about him too that I didn't know. On the way out I had to snap this picture of the staircase in the building. Cool huh?

After viewing such stunning fashion we worked up a huge appetite, so we headed up to Harlem at a place that was recommended to Kailyn called Dinosaurs

And can I just tell y'all how God damn delish the food was there? They specialize in all BBQ entrees.We all pretty much had the brisket, ribs and BBQ pulled pork platter that came with BBQ beans, corn bread, greens, and Kailyn and I added shrimp to ours. We also started off with some delish deviled eggs.

After dinner we went back to Mame's abode to freshen up for the go-go boys at the Urges Lounge and have a few cock-a-tails. We ended up shooting the shit and listening to music from back in the day all the while having a little church. Next thing you know time has passed and after a ton of cock-a-tails and a 2:30am pizza order we never even made it out the door!!! We were all just a tad pinch dronk to go anywhere. But we were all with each other having a great girlfriends moment and isn't that what weekends and good friends are for? And the hang over brunch with bottomless Mimosa's was just what the doctor ordered the next afternoon. Thanks girls for such a lovely weekend!!! Tootles!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Time for a Winter-Vention

Well,well,well, It's the weekend and after this long month of work, snowstorms and then being sick the Mistress thinks it's time for a lovely winter-vention and escape to New York City to visit with my good friend and sister Mame, aka the illustrious, David Dust, and another good friend and blog buddy Kailyn, who is visiting from San Francisco. I'm looking forward to some of the spots we will be dinning at, with some possible shopping, and we may even go to the Spanish Institute to see the current exhibition, Balenciaga:Spanish Master. I LOVE his creations! There sooooo the Mistress.

BALENCIAGA: Spanish Master, the first exhibition to consider the impact of Spain's culture, history and art on one of its greatest twentieth-century sons, the legendary designer Cristóbal Balenciaga. Hailed as "Fashion's Picasso" by Cecil Beaton, Balenciaga's innovations transformed the way women dressed, from the opening of his Paris fashion house in 1937 until his retirement in 1968. His visionary designs and impeccable standards seduced generations of the best-dressed women in the world.

Can't wait to see where all we dine, and we will go have a lovely brunch on Sunday Mame says, with no doubt bottomless Mimosa's. Of course this will be after a little winter warmth from the night before with some major heat at the Urges Lounge to see some very fine go-go boys where the Mistress will make it snow dollars bills!!! Thank God the Mistress will be there to save a dronkin Mame and Kailyn from this kind of scene.

Any major plans on your end? I hope you all have a lovely and warm weekend!!!!!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Does David Dust Sing This to Arby's?

When I first saw this funny video from current dragtestan,t and one of my favorite queens, Mimi Imfurst, I thought of my good friend and sister Mame. I wonder if this is how some nights go trying to get to a Arby's?

From the Candy Shop

Isn't Josh adorable in the first photo. Looks as if he was caught doing a dirty deed! If you’ve watched Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” music video, you probably found yourself drooling, like the Mistress, down your chin and on to your over sized estate choker, because of the studly six-packed love interest. Model turned actor Josh Kloss made Perry feel like a cheap whore, I mean, teenager again, and a good majority of those watching as well, a whore that is. I know, he made my palms sweat and filled my stomach with butterflies!!! That’s why I made Josh this week’s cream filled eye candy. If you wanted to know the man behind the abs, I’ve got some deets for you. The 29-year-old Kloss was born in Portland, Oregon. During his college days, he studied vocal performance. With his 6’2″ stature and photogenic looks, he picked up work modeling quickly. Believe it or not, he doesn’t have a strict workout routine to maintain his photo shoot-ready physique. He says all he does is work out intermittently and eats wise proportions. Bitch. But he can come up and see me ANYTIME!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Curtain Call on Drag History

Well it appears that Drag History Month is is almost behind us and what fun it has been researching and sharing with y'all. Hell, I even learned some things. What a boring canvas we would have without them in the gay community, and community in general. Drags queens and the drag kings who bring color and laughter and the right amount of flair to any function or club. Drag is more popular then ever with most clubs having a drag night and RuPaul's Drag Race, with it's highest ratings yet. They help with the gay rights rallies, and raise very important funds for community service centers and AIDS charity events. Some are brothers,boyfriends,best friends, and even fathers in some cases. Some drag queens provide skits, some song and dance, some comedy and others high brow entertainment. Some drag queens are funny, some congenial,caring,and lovable . Others are comedic and filled with slap stick, while some can be catty. Whatever the case you have to admit when a drag queen enters the room there is never a dull moment! You may recognize some of them here. These divas and many more, are all drag pioneers.