...Around every corner, so beware.
And I never trusted that Elf on the Shelf either.
You just know he is a twisted, disturbed, kinky bastard.
I could swear I felt something under the covers last night, but nah, it couldn't have been.
LIVE! LIVE! Life is a banquet, and some sorry sons of bitches are starving!
Hahaha Ger her, Jade!
ReplyDeleteXoXo
Twisted. My niece pointed out when she was 4 that Elf on the Shelf was all a hoax. ”Look at him!” she said as she ran back and forth. “His eyes don’t even move!”
ReplyDeleteShe was very smart Mitchell.
DeleteBe careful, Mistress!
ReplyDelete... Oh, my, you didn't buy yourself some kinky elves did you?
ReplyDeleteNope, I never got into midget sex.
DeleteWatching someone sleep creeps me out...What don't Santa have any kids? There two possible answers.
ReplyDelete1. He goes off in chimney
2. He has popcorn balls.
Coffee is on and stay safe
Dora!!!!!! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was a good one!!!
Delete"could swear I felt something under the covers last night" You know that horny elf was feeling your dick up while you slept.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the elfs name was Rob?
DeleteIs this Christmas or Halloween?
ReplyDeleteIf I was you, I'd hide all your knives before bed henny.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure about Santa, But I never trusted that elf. He’s a hollow, soulless shell who has nothing left but the booze and the pills.
ReplyDeleteAdd breaking and entering to his sins.
ReplyDeleteAnd we thought that CCTV was intrusive!
ReplyDeleteI think he’s under the covers every night. Like most of us would like to be. 😎
ReplyDeleteEek!!! I always thought Santa was a bit dodgy.
ReplyDeleteSx
The elf on the shelf creeped out my nephew when he was younger. His older siblings loved it, but he would walk through the house with caution, lest he caught the elf in the corner of his eye.
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother had several of the miniature versions all around. I used to be really creeped by them then. They just looked evil.
DeleteOh, so that's what he does to the kids on the naughty list!
ReplyDeleteThat feeling under the covers...probably the Lumbersexual over for a romp and found you knocked out.
ReplyDeleteOh, I think it's to the point now, he knows if he calls, I will always say, Why yes, cum ahead.
Delete