OHHHHH! That is funny! I might have three children and ancient... but no flat is going on my feet. Unless I'm on vacation with a bejeweled and ornate mule.
I think I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. Back when I had, or thought I had, a different mind set than I do now, I spent (literally) a considerable amount of time in strip bars--the kind with cis females--and instead of looking at the boobs my attention was focused on the stilettoes. It amazed me how well those girls danced in those things. I was especially impressed how a typical stripper would slide down the pole, kind of jump off right before she was about to land, and then, with one one leg still pointed upward, just spin around like a top on the single earthbound heel. I'm not sure Cyd Charisse could have done better, or gotten any more dollar bills in her garter.
There was a time I could walk far better in stilettos then I could in regular shoes!!! I sometimes do wear them around the house you know, to stay in form!!!!! That's a great comment!!!!
crocs after 2 kids; rock yer badass self, maddie!
ReplyDeleteyep, i don't see you moving pass stiletto
ReplyDeleteAnd how funny...you can't stand Crocs or kids. How coincidental.
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOHHHHH! That is funny! I might have three children and ancient... but no flat is going on my feet. Unless I'm on vacation with a bejeweled and ornate mule.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I see you in espidrilles?
DeleteYou chart's a little off since I don't do heels, but I do wear mountain boots. Maybe a little alteration is in order.
ReplyDeleteWe can add the heel to the boot...dont you worry toots
DeleteBirkenstocks - after twins and a singleton.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteThat's about right. I imagine 4" heels are categorized as "Taken, but could be available".
ReplyDeleteI think a 4" would be my night off!
DeleteCROCS!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIm shocked, SHOCKED! I'll be right there with you with high heels.
ReplyDeleteThat croc is enough to scare me not to have another.
ReplyDeleteIs that how you keep that azz of yours looking so tight? Do you wear them when you go for your six mile runs? Can I watch? Kizzes.
ReplyDeleteYour quote underneath reminded me of Amy Winehouse's song, Fuck Me Pumps.
ReplyDeleteYassss henny!
I think I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. Back when I had, or thought I had, a different mind set than I do now, I spent (literally) a considerable amount of time in strip bars--the kind with cis females--and instead of looking at the boobs my attention was focused on the stilettoes. It amazed me how well those girls danced in those things. I was especially impressed how a typical stripper would slide down the pole, kind of jump off right before she was about to land, and then, with one one leg still pointed upward, just spin around like a top on the single earthbound heel. I'm not sure Cyd Charisse could have done better, or gotten any more dollar bills in her garter.
ReplyDeleteThere was a time I could walk far better in stilettos then I could in regular shoes!!! I sometimes do wear them around the house you know, to stay in form!!!!! That's a great comment!!!!
DeleteI've been at stage 3 for the last 30+ years
ReplyDeleteYou also can't stop at two kids or we'll find you in Crocs.
ReplyDeleteNEVER!
DeleteLOL! That is funny and sort of does sum it up.
ReplyDeleteSo two kids is the down payment for Crocs? That's way too high.
ReplyDeleteI think stilettos look dangerous but are soooo pretty!
XOXO
Don't fall off those things,
ReplyDeletea metaphor for life
ReplyDeletethe last one reminds me of my friend who tells me his latina mama used that as a weapon for flies and impudent ninos.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahaha!
Delete