Wednesday, May 1, 2019

PSA #21...FIRST OF MAY

As regular readers here can tell you, the Mistress can get kinky and plain dirty. And as is tradition here, today is the first of May. My large group of friends and I had our resident fag hag and mother hen of the group, Mother Burnside, who's passed on, who always had a lovely ditty for the first of May....

Hooray! Hooray!
It's the First of May,
Outdoor screwing begins today!
I can't lie, I'm a huge outdoor whore! To read how the story came to be click here. To peruse  the Mistress's outdoor sex tips click here. Other May traditions here. All entertaining. So what in hell you waiting for...go get busy baby!!!! I'm off to the lake now..tootles!

This post is in memory of Mother Burnside. 
This has been a Casa du Borghese public service announcement.

54 comments:

  1. OH.MY.GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im dying here!!!!! Since Im a new reader, I went to read your tips, and laughed so hard I shot my pino griot right out my nose!!!!!! And almost wet myself!!!!!!!

    Thanks for the May day laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you.

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  2. Only you can make me laugh and horny at that same time!!! I do remember this and forgot. I could have told people this today.

    Excuse me now...….

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  3. "I'm a huge whore!" - fixed it for ya, gurl! that's why we all love our maddie!

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  4. Sooooooo, when I visited a couple years ago, we didn't we go to the lake???

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    Replies
    1. that's because you two probably did it everywhere but out doors.

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  5. This would motivate ANYONE.
    AND you have outdoor sex tips? Damn, mistress 😎

    XoXo

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes......outdoors in nature is a huge turn on for this one.

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    2. I thought "outdoor sex tips" was some kind of latex protection against bug bites on, well, sex tips.

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  6. “Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and winds long to play with your body and hair.”

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  7. One of the hottest things you can do is have sex in a naturally occurring body of water. Don't ask me why, but oceans and lakes are natural aphrodisiacs for me!!!

    Now these picture have got me horny too.

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    Replies
    1. Me too! Not the horny part, that ship has long sailed, but the body of water part. Back in the day, Fred Flintstone would joke about how flushing a toilet would get my motor running :)

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  8. Are you sure you don't want to date me??????

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  9. I recommend trying a hammock, it's like a make do sex swing, so you can put it in at any height you want, and use the no gravity feeling for some very exciting times. In the mesh in the hammock, well that convenient for your penis or tongue to get through.

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    Replies
    1. Maybe I can trying that out camping in year. I bet Deedles has a hammock I can borrow.

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    2. You can use my hammock anytime, Maddie. It's free standing so you don't have to find close trees to accommodate it. It holds my weight, so two reasonably sized men should be comfortable without it collapsing. Bring your own insect repellant.

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  10. OH MISTRESS!!! Here we go again. I almost had cardiac arrest, from this post. And William is laughing real hard at me blushing over the guy above!! Might be his first time seeing man together. And us old folk don't have outdoor sex. We would only wind up with a cramp in our leg, a bruise, broke hip or even poison ivy.

    We will leave the excitement to you youngin's

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    Replies
    1. Bwhahahahahahaha. Now just calm down now tootes, breathe

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  11. I think I need more exciting friends.

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  12. Wow, Lowell! First birds, fish and flowers and now WILD LIFE! The dude on the receiving end in the second picture looks like he could use a book.

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    Replies
    1. Hey, dont joke. I have multi tasked during sex reading, or enjoying a half of tuna sandwich.

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    2. Wasn't joking, hon. I've had a couple of friends and one or two sisters unknowingly participate in a threesome while I was talking to them on the phone. Crossword puzzles are good, too.

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  13. You've given a whole new dimension to May Poles.

    If I ever put those pics on my blog, all the Church Ladies would have a Hallelujah moment.....and then keel over...

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    Replies
    1. I'm still awaiting some sprinkles of holy water yet.....

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  14. Outdoor sex is fun, but don't forget how loud those orgasm get!!!! Two weeks ago I was out on my fire escape with my boyfriend having some fun. The next day my neighbors said Boy someone had a very nice time last night!!! Yikes.

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  15. Tried to once at this woody area by the boyfriend's apartment. Did not expect the swarm of mosquitoes. Ran home, checked for bites in awkward places, had a good laugh about it. Oh well.

    I love the ditty! And your examples have gotten me hot.

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  16. As always dear, thank you for taking a taboo, overlooked topic and using it to divulge a message in tips of gentleness, compassion, and understanding. I admire your work.

    And I love your selection of very robust examples too.

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  17. Where do you stand on golf course sex? Didn't you post about that once?

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    Replies
    1. I've been known to get a hole in one, once or twice on a golf course.

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    2. Did he have personalized balls?

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  18. LOL,LOL,LOL,LOL!!!!!!! Those pass posts are a riot! I enjoy sex on the beach, but the sand can be rough and gets in everywhere. Why your not teaching sex life style coach is beyond me.

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  19. Your a laugh a riot! I would enjoy sex outdoors, but I never know where to leave my teeth when I take them out.

    XO and one for Jesus
    Miss R

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    Replies
    1. Makeshift nipple clamps? Just a thought.

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    2. Sounds like deedles has experience.

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    3. Not really, Mads, I still have twenty teeth left. My father lost his in the hospital once. He thought a nurse stole them. He rolled over and there they were, stuck on his back. Dude was biting himself. I figure they can be used for other things. My mind is adventurous, my body, not so much!

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  20. I'm only kid pushing 70 and don't understand what's going on in these photos but it looks strenuous. Please advise.

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    Replies
    1. Well. It can be strenuous. But it's the only cardio exercise I seem to enjoy without fail. It's very enjoyable exercise geo, and takes two people, and generally naked.

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  21. lol I read your outdoor tips and now have had to have a lie down in a darkened room with a wet face flannel over my eyes

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  22. Lol lol lol! I'll say one thing. You sure can set a mood and stir things up. I'm ready to get naked!

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  23. While strolling through the park one day
    In the merry merry month of May
    I was taken by surprise...

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    Replies
    1. By a bunch of naked guuuuys.

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    2. There was a day in May.
      He laid her in the hay,
      Her father was surprised,
      To see her belly rise,
      And finally,out popped a baby boy!

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  24. Brwahahahahaha!!!! But hot. Outdoor sex is hot! And watching a guy get nailed with a jock on is hot as hell.

    Do you teach courses in outdoor sex mistress?

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  25. My, what did I stumble into?

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  26. Your too funny. A fun and educational post!!! The second reminds me of coaching you in the woods camping two summers ago!!!!!!!

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  27. Gurl, 6ou getting me hot!!!! I love this every year. I have never had outdoor sex can you believe that? I will live through your excitement and urgins

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  28. Damn, that's a lot of May Poles in one post!

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  29. Im back. I just wanted to add if you feel so inclined to film a demo on outdoor sex, we'd be happy to view the film.

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Go ahead darling, tell me something fabulous!

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