Yes...we are still up and out on the Cape of P-town...but while away, this is your special preview issue, details of the soon to be held Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Competition!!!! I know some of you are aware of the flea ridden, stained, and yet, fashionable shorts are all about. For those that don't, here is a basic history for how all this hoopla started. The legend of these Freakin' Green Elf Shorts began in Ohio in 2004 when Andrea Knapp bought a pair of novelty Elf Shorts for her husband, George as a gag gift. (And when I received them, I did just that.) For a laugh, Andrea then decided to turn it into a caption competition, not thinking ANYONE would want to win them...and the rest is Blogging history all these years later, with the damn shorts traveling all over the globe!!! As Ms. Scarlet, a past winner, twice, the poor thing, said, "The general idea of the Freakin'Green Elf Shorts Competiton is to post a photo of yourself on your blog wearing THE SHORTS. Whoever comes up with the best caption to the photo wins The Shorts. The current holder of THE SHORTS, then sends them to the sucker lucky winner and a few souvenirs from their country. An in-depth history of the Shorts can be found here, thanks to Rimpy Rimpington and the Mistress MJ.
Some Q&A
What do I have to do to win? You take a good long look at the photo I will post soon, and create a caption that will take my breath away, or leave me wet, hopefully not in the shorts, with laughter. You will post your comment in the comments section. Once the contest ends, I will choose a poor sucker winner.
May I leave more than one comment? Yes!!!! For all I care you can come back every hour and comment if you want!!
What happens if I win? RUN and move quick!!! Surely, I jest. Should you win, Ill send you the shorts and along with some souvenirs from my neck of the wood or country. The best part, you will have the shorts, and then you have to take a photo of yourself and host the next caption competition on your blog.
What if I don't have a blog or website? Well... as my crush du jour, that tall glass of water, Mr. DeVice says. No, you can't win and are shit of luck. But being the easy laid-back sport I am, I know I have many readers who don't have a blog. So... I will also pick a winner to send a little trinket of my affection too, who leaves the best comment from someone who doesn't have a blog, so you too can par-take in the fun...and doge the bullet of these stained shorts. Just what these previous bitches did with these things is beyond me? But the winner of the Freakin Green Elf Shorts and souvenirs must have a blog.
What if I don't want to win The Shorts, but I want to comment a caption anyhow? You may go head and leave a caption, and just say you don't want to be entered in the contest. But it's beyond me why anyone wouldn't want these damn frickin shorts.
Some of the past winners....
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No one can accessorize like you, Mistress, so I look forward to seeing your photo in the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts.
ReplyDeleteAs witty as you are Debs I look forward to one or two of your comments.
DeleteToo funny. Can't wait to see who tops past winners.
ReplyDeleteOh my God my house boys just said the same thing last night here in Ptown
Deleteand we won't mention which past winner he want to want to top.
DeleteOh dear. I can't wait to see the captions already. It seems, I dare say, a honor? to be among the few people on the planet to be the protector and custodian of such a fine garment as these. Mistress MJ has quite the cleavage, I'm jealous. Mine seem to be on the floor looking for loose change anymore these days.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the ever-growing Jaboobies Looking for Money Club, Ms Agnes. My poor gals not only have to look over a shelf, but I do believe they need glasses now.
DeleteNow that's just what I need this morning Deedles. A visual of your Jaboobies with glasses on them! I only hope they're not cross-eyed?
DeleteI may have been wearing my push-up bra that day, Agnes. Also, the year was 2007. That cleavage has had 15 more years of wear and tear since then.
DeleteI'm with Deedles Ms. Agnes. Good I'm not eligible to win the shorts.... Between my big ass and jaboobies...it's going to be like getting ten lbs. of flour in a 3 lb bag!!!!!!
DeleteYAASSSS HENNNY!!!!!!!! I'd wear these out on the street for daywear gurl. I have no shame honey.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I see you wearing them with a big fuchsia fur and a top hat?
DeleteOh this will be so exciting! If I should win and wear these shorts, will I break out?
ReplyDeleteI hope your trip of R&R on your back is being productive?
Well, you may break out or get a peculiar body rash, but nothing an average antibiotic won't clear up. Although we should probably ask mistress MJ as she did have them on her head.
DeleteI dare ask if they should even be traveling during a time of covid. But I guess there's already been worse things in them.
DeleteI'm laughing already...but over what I couldn't tell you. I'm in! Are those real velvet or that cheap fabric cheapskates wear? The past winners cracked me up? What was it Ms Scarlet was doing, lmao! And your winning caption was pretty funny!
ReplyDeleteReal velvet? No, MS.Onassis... they are of the finest, silkiest velvet imitation polyester blend I've ever seen. They also doubled as a wonderful dust rag.
DeleteSO THIS is what it's all about? Has anyone had sex in these shorts? You know, some on the internet pay good money for used garments. You all could be rich, you filthy bitches.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me bun bun? They couldn't possibly be any more filthy then you're dress after a visit to a gloryhole then an all you can eat buffet.
DeleteAh, another great reason for me not to even attempt to write a blog! No attention span and a decided lack of writing talent are two others.
ReplyDeleteI think that would be wonderful if the Duchess Deedles of the elves would win! You'd look adorable in them. And their one size fits all. Besides you could always wear them as a chapeau.
DeleteWell, Mads, that would certainly be a 'say something hat', but I won't like the conversation! My scalp is going to be itching all day! The visual has disturbed my imaginary lice.
Delete*Claps hands like a demented seal being teased with a codfangler* I can't wait to see your picture!!!!! This is going to be fabulous!!!
ReplyDeleteSX
* flips Ms Scarlett a few sardines*
DeleteI'm already looking forward to everyone's captions.
Never knew there were that many leggy elves.
ReplyDeleteI know right? Especially Mr Device. When he's naked I don't know why picture a camera tripod?
DeleteI can’t wait to see what you do... with the shorts!
ReplyDeleteWell your comment is certainly better than seeing who I did in them!
DeleteHahahaha
ReplyDeleteOMG I am slightly scared by kind of excited about this. I think it's the right mix of emotions, no?
And we should talk about those eleven inches...
XOXO
Six, your feeling of being slightly scared but kind of excited, is just how I feel. It's funny it's also has the same feeling as your first time of going in a bath house. You have the right attitude.
DeleteRather you than me!
ReplyDeleteOh, hell no! I don't think I'd put those things anywhere near my unprotected body. LOL
ReplyDeleteI may need the fainting chaise. Mr. DeVice's Garden Photos Event AND your FGES competition all at once.
ReplyDeleteAnd the smelling salts. This is far too much excitement this time of year.
DeleteThis is a real thing? That's too funny.
ReplyDeleteAs I said,,,gird your loins.
DeleteHooray!!! The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition is (almost) back! I can barely contain myself!
ReplyDeleteI will, of course, be flinging captions around with gay abandon, but I haven't decided yet whether they will 'count' (Although I won the original pair twice, this cloned pair hasn't graced my lilywhite thighs yet...).
P.S. There's a newer version of the FGES Travel Map you know? Just click here. (I don't think Rimpy has got around to updating his blog with it yet?)
You mean to say they have been even more places? No wonder they are soiled.
DeleteDo I hear you say you want to go away with me and have some gay abandon Mr DeVice????
DeleteTundra Bunny here...It's times like this when I thank Jeebus I don't have a blog!
ReplyDeleteI demand to have gloves and the tweezers before I have to put them in an envelope and mail them.
ReplyDeleteAs any fule kno, I do have a blog - but I definitely do not want this toxic waste heading my way! That bitch Greta Thunberg would be picketing outside my door. Jx
ReplyDeleteBut Im sure Greta would love stopping in to see your lovely back passage.
DeleteI look forward to reading the captions and hope I can come up with a little piece of brilliance that will make those ugly things mine, all mine.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Oh I look forward to reading some of yours!
DeleteI admit this sounds fun....but those things gracing my body....what the Freaking Hell!!!!! I can't wait to read the captions already. The history of this from Rumpus blog was an interesting read. They really have been all over.
ReplyDeleteWell, sweetpea, I'm on a roll now what with actually getting my photos in ON TIME and now a real contest with a prize??? I just might faint! xoxo
ReplyDeleteNow this is bound to be pretty funny. And should I win will they even fit on my frame? Just imagine the sights they'd see.
ReplyDeleteI hope you win, just so we can see your cock hanging out the bottom of the elf shorts!!!! You beast!
DeleteCali boy, we will have to order yet another pair of elf shorts if you tried them on. They'd probably rip it the seams.
DeleteHmmm.... those shorts have been around, huh? Just like me! Looking forward to this, though I am not clever enough to win this kind of competition. I do enjoy reading what others come up with though! Take care my dear. Kizzes.
ReplyDeleteDon't count yourself short Upton. When you least expect it you always come out with a wise one.
DeleteAsking this bunch to sharpen their tongues, is asking for fun or trouble.
ReplyDeleteAnd you're right in there at the best of them.
DeleteNow those are some pictures! But if we won could we not just get you in the green underwear that Miss Scarlett had posted on her blog? They would be far more entertaining to take off of you, and maybe put back on.
ReplyDeleteHuntleyBiGuy:
ReplyDeleteI’ve never been so thankful to not have the creativity to create a blog 😎
It's so swell you have a little trinket for us folk without a blog...a will caption several...but no way could me big ass fit in those elf shorts. They'd split to the four corners of the earth!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI sure hope you had a relaxing trip to P-town?
This should be good. I bet they will be hanging from your dick, like a towel rack!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is too fucking funny!!!!!!!!!!! I need a blog so I can win these things!
ReplyDeleteMr. Wings wins.
ReplyDelete