POISON IN THE PEN

Good afternoon from Bucks County on a beautiful sunny day. Even thought I feel very dark and venomous

It was a dark weekend for sure. I have some deep thoughts for a shallow queen. First off  I was off Friday to get provisions. Some Karen was pitching a fit she had to wear a mask and couldn't gain entry. I then over heard her complaining "Every damn place in Doylestown is closed." Open up." Can I tell you I'm so tired of people, friends, calling or texting saying Oh we have to open the economy, let's get the economy going, we have to open, we're going stir crazy, we gotta do this, we gotta do that. My thoughts about this are if we can't handle a few months of quarantine and self isolation and restrictions, just for a few months,  then we are doomed as a society.  I mean, their are people in wars and famine and ravaged for years and years, that have lockdowns, diseases and suffering and all the other nonsense, and we, as a whole, and I'm talking about mostly Americans,  still have so much available to us, so shut the fuck up. And if the government can't get us through just this unique and unusual time, then what kind of government is it??? I mean, I'm not a political scientist , I'm just a average queen sitting here in the afternoon sun reflecting on the stupidity of life right now, and the stupidity of people right now. I'm not the brightest bulb in the tree either, but I have a little common sense. And unless you have seen corona face to face, or have got it, just shut up.You have no clue how serious it is or what's going on. Stop saying we have to open things up, people have to be sacrificed, so stop being so blase- faire about other people lives and health. If you want to go back out... fine, just wear a mask and be responsible. What the big fucking deal? Are you so damn gorgeous you can't wear a fucking mask? That's what the venom filled Facebook is for and your Instagram and all the other bullshit...show your vanity there. Just wear a mask and cover it up. And it your not bothered by catching the virus and don't give a hoot when your time is up...then why don't you just make the ultimate sacrifice and throw yourself in a volcano or use a razor blade and make the ultimate sacrifice to the Gods, and then maybe the gods will come down and end this plague. 

Of course the riot's over the weekend strike a cord also. So many emotions. I don't even know where to start except that why are we still like this in 2020???? My heart is with the black community and the families. It's the parents I really hurt for. I can't even imagine that these parents have to have "the talk" with their kids about the racist conditions. Not only do the black folk have to watch and obey, but feel they have go above and beyond to feel equal or cross the "t" and dot the "I" that abuse won't befall them just over a simple traffic voliation.  I can only assume it was close to my mother worrying about me getting gay bashed. We all definitely have to rise up and do more. We have alot of work.

 Over the weekend, friend and blog reader and my in field correspondent, Mahogany Empress was texting me from Philly who was out in the thick of it. While the pictures she sent made me sad,  that the beautiful city was being destroyed, I also think it reflects just how deep the hurt and pain goes. I can look at these and cry and feel anger. They are quite moving. And I'm proud to call Mahogany a friend, a black trans woman. This is what happens when the child who is not embraced by the village. They will burn it down to feel it's warmth. It time to stop treating anyone different, no matter who , what color, gender, age or sexual orientation feel less then. And where were all the past and current leadership all weekend?

So... where is the leadership? We already knew the head buffoon wouldn't say or give two shits what was happening. He's the bad guy watching the world burn. Probably better he doesn't speak anyway, as he says the same thing and repeats it four times in the same sentence, or just makes it worst. He was more concerned about playing Lost in Space with a rocket anyhow. While watching news I saw or heard from not any leadership what's so ever. No Republican's, No Democrats. No Independents.  They were all elected to take office, if they can't be more visible on this and speak up, and take the right side, and help matters, they all need to get the hell out of office. The current legislature on both sides is the sorriest excuse of elected public officials I can recall in my time here so far.  Where are those voices? Where are the leaders saying we will get through this, this is not right, we need to end racism, and we need police reform of the system from the top down? We have an un-equal and un-fair country and it needs to change. And the same with 98% Hollywood?

 Where were they? Our Caliboi made this on his gram and it really made me feel so good today and was inspired.. and who said he was just a pretty face?

The other thing that had me worked up and even more angry was a email form a sanctuary I give to for elephant protection and preservation. They also deal with other big game also. 

And people wonder why I can't stand humans. Big game hunting is out of control , especially with rhinoceros. This above picture was sent to me for outreach. Imari is one of the many African guys who helps work and runs the sanctuary for elephants. Elephants have always been a fondness for me and a beloved animal. Rhinos are now down to about less then 6,500 left. They are now trying to protect and preserve them from the horrific killings. Many are axed, for the horn,  and just the horn, and the poor rhino is left to die. Thanks to Imari and his staff, sometimes if the rhino's are found in time, they can be saved and in some cases the horn will go back. Most of these poor creatures are left to bleed out. The same with elephants. They are killed just for their tusks. This need to be stopped. Needless to say this too struck me this weekend and added to a most depressing weekend.  By Saturday night I was ready to post a closed for business single and go off the radar, as I felt my dark side getting darker and more angry at the planet and the people in it. If I could have pushed a button that said ignite, I would have pushed it. The emotions are wearing me down,  and I'm tired. Then Sunday morning rolled around and a very sad email came from a guy named Cliff. Turns out he is the partner and good friend of our very own beloved Lady Fingers.

 He was very sad to tell me Lady Fingers passed away from a flu bug that went into pneumonia last week. I won't go into the whole thing, but Lady Fingers was  a longtime reader, and in her young years was a caberat drag singer and performer and a activist for the trans community. She was also heavily involved with the Imperial Court of New York and Night of a Thousand Gowns for years before leaving New York. Needless to say, I was very sad to hear the news, as I knew she hadn't been feeling well for some time. I gave Cliff my number and we talked. It was nice. When we talked about her, and the climate in general, I told him I was planning to hang the blog up temporarily for some time. He urged me not to. He explained how it was one thing Miss Fingers would have to look at daily. No matter how simple or silly,  it made her day. In these times he said it's nice to have a place to escape , and have some fun, even if for a few minutes, so he asked me to kindly reconsider. I was touched. He was right. Even if we touch one person and brighten their day I guess it's worth it. I had no idea this was her bright spot. I was humbled and honored. So I scraped the post I had. Cliff said even in death Miss Lady Fingers is very convincing. I would tend to agree. I will miss her visits.

So I had a very emotional weekend and feel exhausted. But I decided I will not be beaten by this.

This evil creature above or these dark times. I am not ready to give up. But lets just be glad I'm not a higher power. Someone or something has way more patience's than I. I would have imploded humankind a while ago and started all over again.

I won't drink so much coffee or be so angry tomorrow I hope.