OFF TO THE COAST

Off to the coast to see Pearly Gates, who asked if I wanted to come for a visit to the glorious coastal town of Provincetown, since neither of us is working. P-town is usually mobbed for the summer, but with most events and all shows at venues cancelled due to the pandemic, Pearly fears her jig may be up,  since she relies on the paychecks and tips from her shows. She assures me that the town is not very busy, and  restaurants are take out or outdoor café only, so we will stay mostly at her house which is right off a natural part of the beach. Poor things is lonely, I m sure we will talk, and laugh, and do drag things...but no dick dock,  and no famous tea dances either I will suspect, so many of the dance halls are closed. I'm not sure yet... oh no, the phone is ringing. Can you please excuse me.

Hello, you've reach the Casa du Borghese.

MS MOORECOCK! Where have you been?

I  haven't seen you since I left you at the pharmacy dear.

Yes, yes, I got the hand sanitizer.

You WHAT? 

You picked up lube instead of sanitizer and got invited to a party and play?

Oh my god, well you better get back here.
You say you can't find your underwear?
Do you check your compact dear?

Put a postage stamp on yourself and just get back .

You need what? $40?

If it isn't you, it's my mother.

I just paid you last week!

Oh, the money went into the G- sting of a stripper.

Well I hope you had on your gloves and mask?

One glove went missing?
It involved the guy's rear, a feather duster, and two prawns?
No... just stop, I don't want to hear anymore!!!!
NO! I don't want the cocktail sauce back.

Do you believe this tramp?

What? Oh... no one. 

Now look missy, I'm leaving, so I need you to get back and man the Casa and the house boys, you know how unruly they get left unsupervised.

I don't need Ulele Griswald upset again.

No dear, that won't happen I hid the bananas this time.

What's that?

Off to Provincetown dear, to see Pearly.

Oh, I'm sure the dick dock is locked up.

Well yes I might write, 

Well,  you know my authoress day as Penelope Delligan didn't go well.

well, you know the book was just to much for America dear.

Now listen, I left Joan Collins's 1981 Style Book here.

Well, it has good tips in it.

Read the chapter on 101 uses for Porcelana.

Why?

Yes, Porcelana ...oh it's wonderful.

It's one of the best cleaning agents around Ms Moorecock.

I swear!

It's the best way to clean the windows, it doesn't leave any streaks.

That's right, no more need for newspapers or paper towels.

Can you what?

You can make all the paper hats you want as long as your here.

Just get back.

I've left you another check, but thats it.

Am extra $200????

You need to pay back houseboy #7 for the last strip poker night?

Shouldn't you be social distancing, you know my rules.

Oh, you used my grabber stick.

Well at least you use your vessel for something.

Yes, dear .

And don't call me darling, Ill call you.

Tootles.

And you people wonder why I need to get away. I sure hope Ms. Moorecock doesn't burn the place down.  Annnnnnywho, So I'm off to go visit Pearly and haven't really planned how long yet, and I'm not taking the laptop, so Ill have my phone and thats it.  I'm off kids, stay safe, stay out of trouble, and wash those hands, I don't know where they have been.