Today should be a say something hat day!!!!
Not only does this huge hat help to get me airborne to bypass any traffic, but it also is good to keep hidden from the paparazzi. Not to mention can keep myself and five houseboys dry from out of the rain if need be, although its is close comfort. I felt the religion on my leg from one of them. For those that don't know Pam Demic is the Mistress's alter ego pamphlet writer, but not to be confused with Penelope Buckingham, my authoress name, who writes my memoirs. This is one of the few times in weeks I wasn't veiled!!!! The house boys caught me off guard you see. And what a weird week. I'm sorry to say I have bad news.
I'm sad to say my latest pamphlet, which was for the Fourth of July, didn't sell as well as I thought it would, yet another failure. I thought for sure it would be a good seller. Some of the trump supporters may have seen it. If Your Patriotic Don't Wave the Flag, Shoot a Roman Candle Out Your Reversible Asshole. And in a double whammy, I was in talks two weeks ago with Broadway, which the lights have been dark, and we don't know for how long, but anywho, was in talks to be in the lead with Hamilton. It was going to be huge news because I was going to be one of the first gin guzzling drag queens to play one of the founding fathers! I was so excited because the show has been so good and creative and edgy with people of color in white roles and gender reversal roles and all. But now with all this cancel culture the show may be cancelled due to Hamilton being transphobic and homophobic and racist and all. I don't know why they are so surprised. So now that went out the window.
Well I guess it will be back to being a role model but not sure to who, or maybe just a buttered roll, but I have been a hair roll model once. So now, onward and upward. I'm currently writing my next covid pamphlet, How to Survive The Pandemic with 89 Items in Your Household You Didn't Know You Could Get Off With. I have the feeling that one will be a good seller for sure.
Meanwhile the good people at a Provincetown Fudge Factory, which is know for there award winning fudge called to say Ms Moorecock is still there. I left her there some time ago by accident yet again. I always seem to be leaving her somewhere. It's been ages. They assure me she is fine and dinning on fudge and hosting taffy pulls. I feel terrible of course. At least at hickory farms she had more to dine on. I sent them some stamps to mail her back.
I seem to be going somewhere but not sure where. I thought of checking to see if the clinic got in any of that demon sperm yet. Just remember dears, keep wearing those hats, veils and gloves!!!
Even my personal assistant is over the pandemic.
Buster says he is young, single and ready to mingle. Notice like Ms Moorecock, he appears to be very relaxed about getting anything done around here. And just for the lovely Sixpense comes this very rare, candid and saucy outtake from the houseboys......
Very rare for the Mistress to reveal herself out of veil, and seen in whatever the hell stage you call this. Now how about some music for Sixpense. My mind went to him when I heard this song. We could all use some music for...huh, what day is it?
That hat certainly is saying something! I'm not quite sure what it is, but I love it! It is totally unfair for one to be so gorgeous in and out of drag. Still loving the gloves. I lost mine somewhere, but we won't go there.
ReplyDeleteThe gull to look that pretty with just lipstick on right? He is a cutie though isn't he. I want gloves like that now too.
DeleteYou got that right Ms Agnes. I can't choose how I like him the most! Well, maybe in just his underwear, but I love that wig and hat!
Deletenice to see her let her hair down.
DeleteShould I make you two a pair of gloves?!?!
DeleteMads, I want the hat and wig! Unfortunately, whereas you look fabu, I'd look like E.T. after Gertie dressed him up! No kidding. I had a weave once.
DeleteDeedles...would you believe that's two wigs!!!! Im found of stacking.
DeleteYou can hide in my closet anytime!!!!!!
DARLING! you are gorgeous no matter what you wear (or don't wear)! showing off your charms will make ms. moorecock cum back to the casa!
ReplyDeleteHe is. I think Maddie is adorable either way gurl.
DeleteMy My..... You have taken the words Aways....... totally Away..... Magnificent Totally Magnificent !!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a gentleman....Believe me, Tommy, these days gentlemen are an endangered species.
DeleteYou have a way with words, I was laughing through the entire Post! Pam Demic has a lot to say clearly and makes quite the Statement with that ensemble.
ReplyDeleteWell Dawn...I am also working on a phamphlet for covid times proper make up and how much is enough.
DeleteDid you say 'Pole' model or 'Role model'? Wait...BOTH! Gorgeous in any Role/Pole.
ReplyDeleteyou should see his work ON the pole.
DeleteI have been told I should pole model, but haven't yet Jimmy.
DeleteAnd this is why we love you dear....drunken, zany, crazy, stunning and sexy and saucy... and bare a odd resemblance to Tallulah Bankhead.
ReplyDeleteI NEED THAT RING!
FABULOUS DARLING!!!!!!! That hat is fucking HUGE!
ReplyDeleteBut I don't know how to take this? Has Sixpense replaced me with your adoration? I mean look at that picture.
he'll always have a hard spot for you big lug.
DeleteYou saucy minx!
ReplyDeleteBrava Mistress Brava!!!!!! Only lipstick on and you still look that good.
ReplyDeleteBitch. If you find the demon sperm let me know, I may be interested too.
XO-and one for Jesus
Miss R
Finishing school really paid off for you!!!
ReplyDeleteYou had me rolling....my gut is hurting. What a household that must be.
This post had both od us in tears and rolling laughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I sprayed yet another drink!!!!
ReplyDeleteWilliam wants to know if you can be here for afternoon tea? I am loving the gloves still and the ring!!! And that hat!!!! "Some of the trump supporters may have seen it. If Your Patriotic Don't Wave the Flag, Shoot a Roman Candle Out Your Reversible Asshole." LOL,LOL,LOL,LOL. And you already have to looking at things around the house....AND THAT SONG!!!!!
CLEAN UP...AISLE #2.
DeleteMistress, you remind my of a prettier thinner Barefoot Contessa. Maybe you can be the host of your own lifestyle show, drunken of course.
ReplyDeleteBut that last shot....That would have to be the after dark show, with that tool.
It's tool time!
DeleteROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLOVING the Rita Hayworth hair! Go on girl!!! This whole post is so Maddie. Did trump see your last phamphlet I wonder?
Gurl, how do you think he got those asshole burns?
DeleteLose the hat.
ReplyDeleteLose the briefs!
Mamie Van Doren! We thought you were dead, dear... Jx
ReplyDelete"Being a sex symbol had its advantages. You got to meet a lot of interesting people, and men especially. It was a man's world in those days, and I had a lot of luck with men."
Delete"Location never mattered much to me. If I had the urge to do someone in an elevator or a taxi or a swimming pool, that's where it happened."
DeleteJx
You've given me a much needed laugh. I wish I could squeeze under your hat and have a large gin and a hug. We've been put in lockdown again. No visits to homes of relatives or even their gardens. My granddaughter, Ida is 4 on Sunday and I won't be able to see her.
ReplyDeleteI know its for the greater good but it still hurts.
I too can see the barefoot contessa!
Oh ?!? Are your numbers back up again? Sorry to hear that. But your right bettee to be safe than sorry. I 'm glad I could make you laugh
DeleteOh Mistress....you look smashing! Those gloves never cease to make me laugh. But aren't those pamphlet titles getting long?
ReplyDeleteWell upfront people should know what they will entail.
Delete😂😅🤣😂😅🤣I LOVE THIS you crazy, but hot bitch! For some reason this came to mind...
ReplyDelete"They had style, they had grace
Rita Hayworth gave good face
Lauren, Katherine, Lana too
Bette Davis, we love you
Ladies with an attitude
Fellows that were in the mood
Don't just stand there, let's get to it
Strike a pose, there's nothing to it"
I love you!!!! This is a fabulous way to end the week. At least I think it's the end of the week? "Well I guess it will be back to being a role model but not sure to who, or maybe just a buttered roll, but I have been a hair roll model once." had me in stiches!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou look stunning...bring Martha Vineyard realness!!!!!! But I must say that last picture is very sexy and erotic in a good way. YUM!!!!
ReplyDeleteit's all pretty till you end up with a lipstick ring around your cock.
DeleteIf Ina Garten has any sense she'd bring you on as her swanky cousin, although her hot daddy gay friend may try to tap that. And you'd been smashing in Hamilton. I mean the connection...don't they know your distantly related to Aaron Burr! And you both wore wigs!
ReplyDeleteAnd both of us are fond of wigs and prove we aren't to be trifled with.
DeleteCan't you just get your demon sperm from Lindsay Graham???? And thank goodness you cleared up that Provincetown Fudge Factory. I was worried for Ms. Moorecock for a minute...
ReplyDeleteThis looks has me very captivated. Both of them! Poor Sixpense will have his hands full.
Pun intended.
Well dear, I long ago left Lady G...the Aunt Pittypat thing and the sex on the mower had me worried you see.
DeleteYou've got style, you've got grace, let me place a cupcake on your face! Darling. You are so talented and creative. I adore. And such a naughty tease! You must be the toast of Provincetown! Love Ms. Pam, in all her whorey glory. Thank you for making my day. Kizzes. All over. OH... and "I felt the religion on my leg from one of them." Had me rolling on the floor. My goodness, child... how I would love to convert you!
ReplyDelete"Ohhhhhh, my bottom is hurtin' just thinking about it."
DeleteIt's Friday....I suspect the hat has gone to your head.
ReplyDeleteMy oh my, I had to take a cold, cold shower after those pix! and the last shot - oo la la, mami! I like that you had a human kidney in your cocktail there. More people should think 'savory' when it comes to garnishes. You could fly away with that hat, just like the Flying Nun, and drop water balloons on people. That's what I'd do.
ReplyDeleteWho says I haven't? But thank you for that inquiry tootes.
DeleteBuster appears very worried. But I can't tell you how nice it is to see that the tradition of a lady of the house wearing a hat and gloves is.
ReplyDeleteThat is quite the chapeaux. Perfect for both sunny and rainy days. And I’m sorry the sales weren’t there for your Independence Day pamphlet. It sounded like a winner.
ReplyDeleteAnd that last shot? Ooh la la! Sixpence gets all the boys knocking at his door.
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I'm side hurt!!!!! This post was priceless. Loving the first picture. You remind me of a vintage movie star honey. And that hat.👀👀👀
ReplyDeleteTime to dig a fun hat out of the closet, what with this COVID hair and all.
ReplyDeleteAnd what a hat!! Just right for throwing some shade, too.
ReplyDeleteThat final wine glass pose - "I might give a f*** - but only once I've finished my drink."
Fabulous, darling!
Mr. DeVice, you know me so well, I swear.
DeleteOh dear, this is the song I play every night when it's time to put the pooches to bed. They come running for their doggie treats and then jump up on the bed, settle in and then there's no room for me. I often think my place is on the floor. So what are those 89 household items? I'm sure I have at least 5 of them in working order and darling, I love the hat. It makes you look so old school Hollywood. Do you have Bette Davis eyes under those shades? Oh Geez, I need to go back to bed. See, what happens when I don't sleep? I turn into a lunatic. I ramble. The next thing you know I'll be playing dress up and putting hats on. Wait! That sounds like fun....
ReplyDeleteBette Davis eyes? More like blood shot Tallulah Bankhead eyes.
DeleteBut thank you for your inquiry Mildred.
Ha ha! I love that big reveal... and that big hat. San Geraldo's sky blue eyes are super sensitive to the sun. He can never find a hat with a big enough brim. Of course, you have one! Is there actually ANYTHING in your house you didn't already know you could get off with?
ReplyDeleteWell cutting of rose stems with thorns are never fun.....
DeleteYour so damn funny!!!!! The stories!!!! But I am loving the whole vibe of the first picture and that hair wave is gorg honey, gorg!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Maddie!!!!! And your chest is looking good too among other tidbits.
ReplyDeleteWell I know it's not my seafood diet....see it and eat it!!! But thank you kindly.
DeleteThat hat is HUUUUUUGE!!! I love it. I also thought this post was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteFirst off....I LOVE that song and have been trying to find it forever!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSecond this blog is great! I have just spent the last four hours reading post all over the place. Pam Demic, lol,lol,lol, I sure do hope this means your doing drag again?!?!? Why did it take me so long to read this?? I bet you fell off your chair?
Probably because you finally came up for air from sucking cock.
DeletePam Demic looks to be a lady of luxury.
ReplyDeleteGAWDgeous honey GAWGEOUS!!!!! And your stories. But just what does this Sixpenese do to get such pictures?!?!
ReplyDeleteThat song thought...I was thinking more like Let me be Your Underwear. So I can touch you there...and there....and, ohhhhhhhhhh....there.
I think it's his charms..they come right through the internet.
DeleteA funny and glamorous post for sure! Pam is rockin' that hat!
ReplyDeletehell, the taffy pull contest is no different then being at the casa with the houseboys, just less sand.
ReplyDeleteEspecially with all that taffy to be pulled.
DeleteGrab both ends and pull hard honey.
Deletelovely hat and just right for keeping out the ardent sun of Arizona.
ReplyDeleteCome sit under here with me...we'll have mint julips.
DeleteIt should be illegal for you to look that good even without most of the makup. It takes me an hour to look half that good you bitch! I'd also like to know more about your pamphlet..."How to Survive The Pandemic with 89 Items in Your Household You Didn't Know You Could Get Off With. Bwahaha!
ReplyDeleteNow, Maddie, we know how that picture happened. The houseboys found you a little under the weather from the gin storm. Nothing to be ashamed of, it happens. I mean, especially during a pandemic such as we've had.
ReplyDeleteCheer up. I'm sure this next pamphlet with be a huge hit. We all need this information!!
I think your right...this one will be a good seller, I can smell it...or I smell something.
DeleteOMG!!! Im rolling here.LMAO!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI have questions.
ReplyDeleteHow did I miss this?
Is that Jujubee’s hat from AS 5?
Also, DAMN!
XoXo
Honey, that bitch stole it from me. Now ask away cutie pie....
Delete