Monday, August 1, 2011

What the Smurf is Going on?

Happy Monday everyone! The Mistress is ready for a full work week, I just hope I can do a full week! Over the weekend I saw more damn previews for the Smurf movie. They are wearing that movie out. And there appears to be major smurfing endorsements all over the place. After I left the pool Saturday, we stopped at Micky D's. I got a happy meal and , you said happy meal? Yes, because the potions are small!!! Anyway I was asked what smurf figure I would like. Ahhh memories. I had quite the collections of smurf figurines when I was young. And they have also invaded the SyFy channel ads!
Damn this SMURFS movie, they are going to ruin my Saturday morning memories! I don;t care to see them in New York City causing antics with the ever hot Neil Patrick Harris, and lets face it, if anything saves this movie it will be him! Swoon. Where was I? Oh ways to seduce Neil, no... I mean the smurfs. Do we really need a movie? Why not another cartoon on Saturdays? And I always though Smurfette was a bit odd.The Smurfs' lone lady is an easy target for the blue-male gaze or much cat calling and smurfing.Gargamel isn't the first to notice the 99-1 gender ratio: For a long time, people have been saying there's something odd about Smurfette, the lone female smurf.

In Smurfette's case, the explanation for why she's the only girl in town came when she debuted in a 1966 Smurfs comic book strip. It's like this: Gargamel is always looking for ways to capture the Smurfs. Recognizing that his enemies live in an all-male community, or in modern terms, the Castro, he creates a girl version "with a big nose and wild hair," who "didn't originally look like much" (from Smurfette's official bio) to spy on the Smurfs and cause jealously among them. The plan backfires, because, lets face it, there all gay, when Smurfette decides she wants to become a real Smurf, and Papa Smurf casts a spell that transforms her into the blonde, "charming Smurfette that melts the hearts of the other Smurfs. I aint buying this one bit. Papa used a wig, some quick make up tricks, and was handy with a sewing machine! I think smurfette is a drag smurf! Just look at that catty look on her face would ya.

And what female likes playing with bugs? And what woman likes wearing really high heels? And I just always assummed Papa Smurf was the daddy and the rest were his bitches!

And while I'm at it,am I the only one who remembers Hogatha, the evil witch seen from time to time? And did the Mistress really just do a whole post on all this smurfing business?


  1. step.away.from.the.keyboard!!

  2. I think Gargamel was a closet case...dontcha think?

  3. Anonymous8/01/2011

    that was smurftastic! I totally agree that smurfette is at minimum a crossdresser. I always wondered if she might even possibly be a fantastic trannysmurf.

    smurfly yours,


  4. Anonymous8/01/2011

    Yes... you did! lol "Smurfs Up" all over the place for damn sure. It's also been plugged to death on Lopez Tonight -George Lopez seems to be hosting primarily his Smurf co-stars exclusively these days as well. Don't get me wrong, I love cartoons and am quite partial to the color blue -butt really! It will be interesting to see how much innuendo is carried into the film -but I won't be rushing to find out.

  5. I have 2 t-shirts about Smurfette. that I very much like. Loved the smurfs growing up.

  6. Well, I didn't see this post coming! Years ago Sesame Street had the same trouble. They had Ernie, Bert, Oscar, Cookie Monster, Grover, Kermit, and Big Bird but no females so they had to create Zoey. Oddly though the kids still love the classic characters the best (especially Oscar). The Little Rascals also was nearly all male except for Darla

  7. Serious Mistress... in all your travels and things you do, there was NOTHING else to write about!!! LOL,LOL,LOL,LOL,LOL!

  8. No I think Smurfette is merely transexualAnd your right about the movie, Neil is the only plus about this movie.

  9. So what your saying is Smurfette is a skank trying to use her charms to get what she wants out of men? I'd buy that!

  10. Time to let the secret out. Smurfette is really a tranny but to put out that information in the 60's would have caused a big scandal and the comic would have been banned!!!!

  11. Love the cartoon but so over the movie previews already! A crappy script will absolutely attract a decent cast, which is just what this is--DECENT! The only real talents here are Hank Azaria and maybe Sofia Vergera and maybe, just maybe, Neil Patrick Harris....I'm sure this movie will be just awful in every way, but it will rake in money like wildfire, and no doubt all of these stars want a little piece of the CGI money pie. Brace yourself Mistress, I also heard two sequels already planned.

  12. I understand Hefty, the sport jock of the smurfs was the hung one and used Brainy as his bitch!

    1. no one3/26/2022

      Well, Hefty's a bitch to me 'cuz his craps on Brainy, who happens to be my fave Smurf. Therefore, I wish that Brainy got back at him and never get punished for it, especially since I clike nerds and hate jocks.


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