While the Mistress is Away...

...well, you know how the rest of that goes.

As you've no doubt read, earlier today the Mistress put on her snowshoes and made the trek up Amtrak's Northeast Corridor. The Boy Toy (or yours truly, since you're now reading this...I just realized how obnoxious it sounds to use that moniker on myself) is scheduled to do the same tomorrow, having had some work issues to attend to.

So essentially, I was abandoned. With the dog. And the blog. And a little bit of Jack Daniel's. Ok...a lot of Jack Daniel's.

He's mentioned a few times that I do not blog - not that we don't have much to say. There just doesn't seem to be enough time to say it all. But often we've spoken about what I might blog about if I had one...and so, just for today and tomorrow morning...I do. So let's get to it.

Topic #1: Levi Johnston, Mathematical Symbols version


Plays hockey, plus. Changes diapers, kind of a plus. Halfway decent in a suit, plus. Did not graduate, minus. That whoe MySpace "f-ing redneck" thing, minus. Going on Tyra, division symbol. Ragging on Sarah, call it a draw.

Topic #2: Heather "Longboobs" McDonald

The funniest person on late night television, she's part of the staff of the Chelsea Handler Show on E! Now, Chelsea and the Mistress have quite a bit in common...vodka, poking fun at people, the allegedly blond hair, and rumors of husband-stealing. But nothing is more offensive and funny than McDonald's impression of Marlee Matlin's whiny character on "The L Word" (the last 45 seconds of this clip). Just plain wrong.




I must say, this has been fun. Discuss amongst yourselves.
-Boy Toy