Bathhouses caught on for a sexual and safe place for gay men and in some cases even lesbian clubs, to meet for sex, or otherwise under safe and comfortable conditions. By the 60's and 70's it was common to enter one, have tons of sex, and see a drag queen or performer. They became so popular that Bette Milder actually started her career performing in them with Barry Manilow, where she got dubbed Bathhouse Betty.Then HIV arrived and hit the bathhouses very hard, with most shuttering. Numerous bathhouse were raided in this period and some cities even banned bathhouses entirely. For gay men, the bathhouse has created a sense of community and camaraderie. Things have changed a lot since the 60s and 70s since hook up apps. But I firmly believe nothing like a face to face meeting, and bathhouse are a integral part of the gay culture to this day. I can remember when I was out in my second year, and my two friends took me to DC to the Crew Club. I was in awe, blown away, and felt like I finally belonged with my people. Never mind that I just happened to be naked and having sex three times that night. Since then I have enjoyed visits to bathhouses from time to time, and had just encounters, or orgy groups, or my favorite, the glory hole rooms!!!! The Lad and I have even gone together on occasion.
But don't get me wrong, there also not just about sex. I saw many come to just hang out and talk and watch the video screens, and many now even have bars, so some come just to drink and mingle. Not everybody goes there for sex. Say what you want, but bathhouses are and were a vital part of the gay community for people who might be in the closet or still not quite sure what their sexuality is. It give us yet another safe place to play, and for people to dip their toes into the water without taking the plunge. And who doesn't enjoy some sanctuaries with the mens from time to time? I know I do.
Happy Pride 🌈
The baths were fun back in the day. There are only two that I know of in Ft Lauderdale (not including the poolside orgies at the gay B&Bs). What they did shut down and got rid of was a high class Swingers/wife swapping club. Go Figure.....
ReplyDeleteJimmy
I haven't been in one in a while lately unless you include the Philadelphia Jacks! There a fun group.
DeleteI love bathhouses or saunas , as they are referred too in some countries. I have gone in to them several times. Of course, they are about casual recreational sex, but I am glad you also reinforced the social aspect as well. So many of our best places provide ample space for just relaxing and chatting, a really important function for gay people many of whom live otherwise quite isolated lives. Here our bathhouses suffered from the AIDS epidemic, then the onslaught of the dating apps and more recently, Covid. Despite this they are making a strong recovery. As somebody once breathlessly said to me, "What a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon!"
ReplyDeleteYes...what a way to spend a sunday afternoon.
DeletePersonally I have to wonder about saunas. Sex in a sauna sounds like a dehydration risk.
DeleteI am not sure, but would think it would be too Anon. I'd say drinks lots of water before that activity.
DeleteWell, your drag name could have been Glory Hole.
ReplyDeleteAnd yours will be Anita Bitchslapped
DeleteGay history indeed. Our history is not only people but places, much like dance clubs and Stonewall. There's an interesting book that came out about 7 months ago making the rounds called, Bathhouse Babylon. It's like a diary of a bathhouse from a manager.
ReplyDeleteI've heard of that book. I need to look that up.
DeleteYes, they certainly are gay history! I think every gay man should experience at least one visit in their lifetime. I just did a quick count of the number of bathhouses I have visited over the past 30 years: 11 in the US, 7 in Canada, and 4 in Taiwan. I have never regretted any of my visits. My favorite was in Toronto and Seattle. We sure wouldn't mind hearing your personal accounts.
ReplyDeleteThey definitely have gotten less common. I never partaked but I have fantasized about it before
ReplyDeleteI have been five or six times...and it is fun...and like cap above says...everyone should try it once. I don't regret doing it.
DeleteAnd don’t forget Bette Midler and Barry Manilow! I never went to a bathhouse. I used to regret the missed opportunity, but soon learned that, coming out in 1980, my lack of bathhouse history may have helped keep me alive.
ReplyDeleteI think your probably right on that Mitchell.
DeleteI agree with Michael: lack of bathhouse history kept many men alive.
ReplyDeleteI was sad when I learned that Chicago had lost its oldest bathhouse to progress. I think the owner passed away and the heirs did not want to put the work to keep it, so they sold the property. It's an antiseptic apartment building now. I think some of the artifacts that were in the bathhouse are in the Leather Museum now. I think bathhouses were a great asset for the community but they also contributed to the spread of AIDS. Also, Grindr has killed most of the ones still standing, probably.
XOXO
Friend has killed lots of the places where we could meet face to face. But the biggest thing it's has killed is men have loss their ability to flirt and have decent conversation. These guys have no concept of starting or holding a conversation. In bars...they sit lile bumps on logs.
DeleteI mean, the 70s bathhouse culture was also such that saying no to someone made you an old fogey.
DeleteThere was actually a large group of gay men who simply congregated at bathhouses for the social, rather sexual, relationships. Bette Midler's show was more of a nightclub act (with a bit of raunch thrown in) performed in front of an audience of men who were mostly dressed.
ReplyDeleteMost of the large bathhouses I went to had huge performances spaces...and thats why I stated not everyone was there to be naked or have sex...they were also yet another venue for men to gather and bond and be social and take in a show. Many only sadly saw the sex.
DeleteThat photo of the glory hole room had me rolling. So many to choose from, ROFLMAO!
ReplyDeleteLike a kid in the candy shop....which one to try first!!!!!! It's a dilemma.
DeleteOh, I've been to my fair share....many, MANY time just to have a place to hang out naked, take a sauna or steam, sit in the hot tub, or float around in the the indoor pool --- all while just chatting with other dudes, Really. (OK, so there was the occasional hand job or blow job...but when your cock got hard and someone wanted to help, I mean, why not?)
ReplyDeleteYou get it!!!!!
DeleteI love that first image.
ReplyDeleteNever went to one, but I've heard horror and glory [hole] stories from friends who did.
ReplyDeleteI miss the heyday of gay saunas! I used to be a regular at many, up and down the UK - but the very best of all was Thermos in Amsterdam (originally two, Thermos Day and Thermos Night)! Oh, lawdy, the tales I could tell...
ReplyDeleteAll closed now. Sigh.
There are only a few left here in London nowadays - and I'm way to old for those "gym-bunny-dominated" venues anyhow. Jx
Jx
Are you saying you were a gay guide to bathhouses? And did you have a star rating system?
DeleteA suck-rating system, surely? Jx
DeleteI would go anywhere to see Bette Midler.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Oh, I miss them.
ReplyDeleteBathhouses in Minneapolis came to an end when the city council, to honor a very gay and out council member who died of AIDS (Brian Coyle) passed a law banning them (The Brian Coyle Law.) I don't think Brian would have supported it and it was a knee jerk reaction, but everyone was very proud of themselves. Sutton Place and others? Shuttered. There is an illegal gay bath-house (an actual house) in North. I go there once a year. It's nice, but not a real bathhouse. Anyhoo... it's time that law was overturned, but Minneapolis keeps developing new hot button issues, so I doubt it will happen anytime soon, unless a chain, like Steamworks decides to put some effort and money into it. Thanks for the history lesson. Love it.
ReplyDeletePhilly still has three...one more a theater though....but in New York City and the crew club in DC are still going full force and always are packed.
DeleteJust a random thought fluttering through my foggy brain, was/is this just a man thing or is there a female equivalency? Stupid question but how else will I learn? Glory holes look painful.
ReplyDeleteI have not heard of many for the ladies...but there were a few. One was the Pussy Cat Club.
DeleteThanks, Mads. I can always count on you for this kind of info. I haven't hugged you lately, so here. (((Mads)))
DeleteIt seem that there been some advancement for lot things in our society. But I do have concern since it looks like Roe Vs Wade will be over turn. My question is who next. I saw brief news story about Rap Music is in courts. Freedom of expression.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on and stay safe
Fine. We'll listen to country! I'm sure the cons will love this one. It's called Independence Day.
DeleteCons: No! Not like that!
The baths were everything in the 70's in New York. The Continental Baths was nice n clean and had a disco. Then there was Man's Country, The Barracks on 42nd Street. I am having flashbacks of some very good times.
ReplyDeleteI am lucky to live in the Ft. Lauderdale area there are 2 bathhouses and sex club within a 5 mile radius. The Club Baths is more like a resort and attracts a younger, hotter crowd, while the Clubhouse 2, my favorite gets a more mature crowd... the latter is closer to me and I fit the demographic better. Some nights they have beer and pizza which makes for an exceptional deal... much better than hanging out in a noisy bar hoping for some action. Pig Week is always fun. Excellent post.
ReplyDeleteWhat could be better than rooms full of naked, wet men….hard just thinking about it!!!
ReplyDeleteI never knew this but it makes sense...these days sex clubs seem to be just that-sex clubs.
ReplyDeleteThere is a bathhouse here in PHX. Rumor has it it is closing as no one goes there; they hook up on line rather.
ReplyDeleteAs weird as it sounds, the online hook up I never got into. Seems cold. The bath house always had the art of flirt and cruise...and one can see what your actually getting.
DeleteI've done more thinking about this, re-read your post, and this time one line really did jump out at me:
ReplyDelete"still not quite sure what their sexuality is."
Heterosexuality may not be seductive in the erotic sense for people like us, but it can still be socially seductive. Just learn to be turned on by the opposite sex, and you, too, can be part of the mainstream. A gay bathhouse, even more so than a gay bar, freed you from all that and just put you in a world where being gay was the norm.
Totally agree with you Kirk.
DeleteThe thing is how to avoid the sheer 70s-ness of it. The hets were just as bad back then, no sense of propriety and consent and such, but that has to be addressed in any discussion of bringing old hookup spots back.
ReplyDeleteCan't stop thinking about this.
ReplyDeleteFirst time I went to one I was in my late 20s. While there were a few my age or younger, the vast majority were men in their 40s who looked more like Don Rickles than Magnum P.I.--yet I was fine with that! Maybe the best way to know that your gay is not that if your attracted to the most handsome men, but how far down you're willing to settle. In my case quite a bit because I was both flattered and turned-on by the attention from older guys. I felt like Marilyn Monroe in The Seven-Year-Itch. Too old for that now. Maybe I could still be Mrs. Robinson chasing after Dustin Hoffman.
I was the same way Kirk. While not a 10 myself, Im cute and had my fare share of sex with my age, but I too was not put off and at times even more turned on by the men older than I. I had no issues of a older man sucking my dick or I his. I'm also no embarrassed to admit I get very excited about thinking of the bathhouse experience and the anonymous side of the sex. Not something I do all the time, but it is fun from time to time, to meet, strip, and have sex and then leave. The hooks ups are some of the hottest sex I've had.
DeleteWe have a bathhouse about 20 minutes away. Never been, so not sure how active or well attended it is. Although I am quite curious (I've never been in one.)
ReplyDeleteSassybear
https://idleeyesandadormy.com/
I was a nervous wreck the first time, but then the next couple times I had a very nice time. Some men, the fluorescent lighting, the sounding of moaning and a few hard cocks, all conspired to make an evening of enchantment.
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