Saturday, March 16, 2019

COFFEE TALK

I'll be out of town today for a birthday dinner for my dear Mother, who's bound to only get feistier. But I have a guest here today in my absence to be with you and watch the Casa since Miss Mooorecock appears to not be back yet. Tootles!


Welcome to Coffee Tawlk I’m your host Linda Richman.

On this show we tawlk about cawffee, dawters, dawgs, you know no big whoop just Coffee Talk. You’ll never guess who's at the Casa right now. I’ll give you a hint. I’m mad about them.I love to be waited on. That’s right it’s Houseboys. Come here bubala let me touch that thing. It’s like buttah.

Linda Richman: So P.S Long story short, this Houseboy #3 and my dawter  went to the theatrical summer camp in the Catskills together. And this one practically moved in.

Houseboy 3: They became my family my mishputkha. I never met a family so colorful.

Linda Richman: That’s a nice way for saying Jewish. Come on I kid. Why? Because I love. My houseboy  here, I wish you could see him here... by the looks of things  a quarter Jewish.

Houseboy #3: I’m Methodist and Jewish. I’m a 
Both: Mushu!

Linda Richman: Now wait a minute here, what's going on here. Should that thing be doing that?
Houseboy #3 Well Linda it does have a mind of it's own.

Linda Richman:  It's beyond me why the Mistress doesn't have you boys spade or neutered, or what ever they do to fix that thing. Slat peta maybe?

Houseboy #3 You need to get out more Linda. The things the Borghese House Boys can do with these things.....Like this....

Linda Richman: Don’t get me started, that  terrifyed me. I felt like fulnkn gestapha heliorahn helroshing hullishing en shmaza en my cappie. You know what I’m saying.

Houseboy #3: I’m only a quarter Jewish so I only know a quarter of what you said.

Linda Richman: Oye I’m dying. There it goes again. I’ve never known why anyone would enjoy that thing, reminds me of too many bris. It's beyond me why the Mistress doesn't use them for extra coat hooks, or rolling out knishes. you know what Im saying?

Houseboy #3: Linda, are you getting verklempt again.

Linda Richman: Talk amongst yourselves.  I'll give you a topic. Donald Trump is neither a human, or trumped anything. He, this mishegas, is either plant, mineral or vegatable. Discuss. Okay.... that’s all the time we have this week. My guest has been Houseboy #3. Again, I’m mad about you. 

Houseboys #3: And I’m mad about you, as you can see.

Linda Richman: You look great in beige, or is that flesh?. How one person can look that good in that vercockhta color. I will never know. There you have it. Goodday.

18 comments:

  1. Hmmm, plant, mineral or vegatable? Going to have to think that one over. Alien?

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  2. Spade? You gonna hit him with a shovel and then neuter him? Nooooooo!

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    1. By the way, enjoy the time with your mother on her special day. Would she appreciate a leftover penis pop? I still have a few in case you need one. Give her a hug from me for producing such a wonderful specimen of humanhood!

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  3. BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Your crazy! But should you ever do Drag Race now know who you can do!!!!! Trump is probably , mot definitely a toxic mineral.

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  4. We need more!!!!!

    Happy BIRTHDAY TO YOUR Mother!

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  5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MADDIE'S MOMMY! your son is a blessing to all who know him!

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  6. "It's beyond me why the Mistress doesn't use them for extra coat hooks, or rolling out knishes." LOL,LOL,LOL!

    They, the boys, do seem to be similar to rolling pins around there.

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  7. Tell Mom we all wish her a Happy Birthday!!

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  8. First a huge party this week now Linda Richman!!!!!!!

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  9. Im more verklempt you don't know what to do with a houseboy's coat hook?

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  10. Happy birthday to your mother.

    I think Mike Myers falls somewhere in between RuPaul and Milton Berle.

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  11. I love Linda Richman, back in the days when Mike Myers was funny. He based her on his mother-in-law, apparently. I'm sure his MiL found the character much less amusing once he divorced her daughter.

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  12. Many happy returns to Mother !

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  13. Happy bday to the Dutchess!
    Oh I love kvetching in the evening after some good cognac.

    XoXo

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  14. Ok that was pretty good!!!

    And trump I'm pretty sure is a vegatable with a wig.

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  15. Well done! A gezundt ahf dein kopf.

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  16. LOL. Well, happy birthday (belated) to your mother!

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Go ahead darling, tell me something fabulous!