Are you going to be my cell mate?
Let's just say my years in prison outnumbered my current age. Just call me Matron "Mama" Morton.
LIVE! LIVE! Life is a banquet, and some sorry sons of bitches are starving!
LIVE! LIVE! Life is a banquet, and some sorry sons of bitches are starving!
A mere 28 years for me. I'm practically a nun!
ReplyDeleteAmen, Sister Debra.
DeleteBut it isn't (yet) so I'm not counting.
ReplyDeleteNineteen for me. I'd be eighty-seven when I get out, so it may as well be life.
ReplyDelete19!!! Now I'm trying to figure out what you answered yes to. I bet it was the nude on the cell phone!!!!!!
DeleteNope. I didn't count the statutory rapist or child molester because that wasn't me having sex just the predatory perverts. Water so under the bridge, the very old bridge, heh.
DeleteWell, I always thought you of as demure Deedles.
DeleteMore like an introvert with no filter, Mads. I do like the word demure though.
DeleteHuntleyBiGuy:
ReplyDelete*GULP* 40 years?!?!?
Only 40?!?! Did you do the math right???? LMAO!!!!!!!!
DeleteOh shit. I stopped counting after 'sex with a stranger'.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least I don't have a sex tape...
Otherwise Large Marge would show it on the floor in congress like she did with Hunter's dick pics...
XOXO
XOXO
Your probably right behind me sweet cakes! They throw both out keys away!
DeleteHunter's dick pics??? Who Hunter?
Mistress....Hunter Biden's dick pics! But who'd want to see them is beyond me.
DeleteI'm going to be in prison until I am 118. Jx
ReplyDelete118! I hope someone will still be around to bring some cakes with files in them.
DeleteYeah, lock me up for the rest of my days!
ReplyDeleteIm shocked.
DeleteI'm practically a virgin with only a 14-year sentence.
ReplyDeleteBetween you Debs and Tundra, I could start a nunnery.
DeleteTundra Bunny here...
ReplyDeleteJeebus, I AM a nun with only 14 years, LOL!
👆👆👆see above!
DeleteTundra again...
DeleteBTW, I love your new header, Maddie! Is that what you're wearing these days when you cut your grass?
Oh, I would only get parole most likely.
ReplyDeleteBut yours?!?!?! Oh Mama Morton!
"Let's just say my years in prison outnumbered my current age."
ReplyDeleteIf I had on a pearl necklace on, I grasp it in shock.
What's shocking, Ms Moorecock? That he's got more than you thought or less? I'd go with less or fewer, whichever one is grammatically correct.
DeleteDuchess Deedles....I gave up counting the yes's at 58 ........
DeleteAbout the only one I answered no to was sex before 18 and sex with food. But, you, Jon, and Six will be cell mates for years to come.,
ReplyDeleteSix years. I shall burn in hell forever.
ReplyDeleteNo, scratch that. Maybe 11 years.
DeleteJail or hell, you're going to be in good company.
DeleteI don't feel so bad now at 12 years. Is that good or bad?
ReplyDelete31 years. I surprised it was even that.
ReplyDeleteLooks like I'm getting 50 years. I mean who in their right mind would have sex with a stranger?!?!
ReplyDeleteI know...can you believe anyone would sink that low?
DeleteI have grass stains on my knees to prove it... Jx
DeleteOh, wait a minute...does the list mean for each time I've done something? In which case, my shaky maths and advanced age means I'll die in the hoose-gow.
ReplyDeleteAnd here I thought you were one of the innocent ones.
DeleteI hit 51, did I win yet? I'm interested in their distinction between "sex in public" and "sex outdoors."
ReplyDeleteI'm currently serving a permanent sentence of exile; Wordpress busted me for "posting sexually explicit materials" and deleted my blog. Prudish bitches. I exported my blog to take to elsewhere, but I found out it's in a file format nobody else uses.
Mr Mago has shared a file converter on my current post - I'm going to try it later.
DeleteSx
Peenee.... I think we'll just put you down for a yes for both of those... I know you're a big slut like Me.
DeleteI clocked up 46years! I don't know how, I am an innocent!
ReplyDeleteSx
At 46 I wouldn't call you innocent sweet cheeks. I'd say impressive!
DeleteI can't see: swallow cum!
ReplyDeleteI'd dear.....your the warden of the joint!!!
Deletesure I am!
DeleteOh my, 25
ReplyDeleteTake that and over double it for me......
Delete28 years and I thought I was a good girl! Gigi
ReplyDelete36 years, I counted wrong. That means I will get out when I’m 118 oh no my life is over. Gigi
ReplyDeleteCan I subtract 5 years if stranger became my husband? Gigi
ReplyDeleteNot that is a slut!!!! Good for you Gigi!!!!!
Delete46 years! I didn't know I was such a slut!!!
ReplyDeleteNo worries...your in good company here with us other ho's!
Delete34 years. Oh, my, I am a tame one, aren't I?
ReplyDeleteI stopped counting the years once I figured out I'm spending the rest of my life behind bars.
ReplyDeleteSex? What's that?
ReplyDelete64 years for me. How is that eve possible. I always thought I had limited experiences. The only thing I haven't done is make a sex tape!
ReplyDeleteYou and SG better get on the stick, Scoot! Is tape still used? I want a copy (I might as well add a few more years).
DeleteThat you remember Mitchell!!!!!
DeleteYeah, I suppose that's true, Mads. But, Deedles, if I didn't make a sex tape 30 years ago, I will NOT make one now. (And you will thank me for that.)
DeleteHmmm... 21 or 29? It all depends on whether the the sex while drunk with the someone off limits (the wrong identical twin) actually happened. Neither of us could remember but there was some evidence...
ReplyDeleteP.S. Funnily enough, with some very hasty adding up (so I could be wrong), the grand total of all the sexual "misdemeanors" is 69!
Just to clarify (after a certain scarlet someone got the wrong end of the stick and thought I was far more adventurous than I actually am), I mean that if all the years on the 'score card' are added up, the total is 69. Not that I have done all those things and would be locked up for 69 years...
Delete69 sounds like it would be appropriate for a few of us. I came in at a 60.
DeleteNow about these twins........we're going to need more details, and will they be present when I have a few gins in your garden corner?
I'd be stills serving time.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on and stay safe.
DORA!!!!!
DeleteI'm as pure as the driven slush..... just cuff me now and throw the keys away.
ReplyDeleteExecution will be easier🙏
ReplyDeletepeople who rate in the teens? What sheltered lives they live. Which is better than calling myself a slut. I don' t think I did anything food related, but other than that, check all the boxes,
ReplyDelete