PARTY OF ONE

If there is one thing I love about blogging is all the people you get to meet. Just today I was reading dear John's blog, Going Gently, and some days he has me in tears from laughing, whether he means to or not. Today was one of those days. Go check it out for yourself.  And leave it to our very own Duchess Deedles to make me spray coffee all over the damn place from her lovely nugget of a comment, which only remined me of my own embarrassing story once. One Christmas, two years ago, the ever thoughtful and naughty Lad got me a fleshjack for a gift, you know, for when he isn't here, being long distance and such. Click here if your not sure what a fleshjack is. Well at first I didn't think I would ever used it. I had never used such accountments of such what with most guys I dated living close by, or someone a phone call away. The Lad was the first long distance one. Whatever we have going on. Said item in question. 

The one I got resembles a guys lips. WELL....one time right after I had gotten it, my dear mother came for a visit. I had totally forgotten I left it out. (Yes, I did end up trying it and it surprisingly did feel like a blowjob.) After she was here a bit, she walked around the pied de terre to check out my place, and after a bit came down the hall carrying the flesh jack and asked, "What the hell is this?"  To which I replied very quickly it was a instant wine bottle chiller. Thank god I hadn't any gin that day yet, other wise I might not have thought so quick. She asked to see it demonstrated to see how it chilled so quickly before she left, but I was able to soon make her forget that. She did ask where I got it and said it was a gift, but I believed Bed Bath and Beyond have them. She took a picture of it and was going to check it out. I don't know she did or not.

And she never did ask why a wine bottle chiller was in the bedroom.