With these cold temperatures of late, it is important to be dressed accordingly. Nice warm coat, scarf, gloves and chapeau.So dress warm and bundle up.... especially us guys! The Mistress had been known to go commando and let it all hang loose, but even in these artic temps one must wear suitable armor.
So the Mistress highly recommends guys wear Willy Warmers!
Unfortunately, yours truly's sprig and berries wouldn't fit in this one. I may have to have one knitted. But worry not. If your in the same shoes as I, we have our own in house Courtier Knitter, Anne Marie, who we hear is mean with a set of knitting needles and creating cutting edge colors and designs. She is also professional in taking measurements. She only uses state of the art equipment.
For a good laugh, lick to embiggen. Opps, I meant click!!!
Now that is state of the art, and ground breaking technology right there people. So remember boys...nothing worst then frost bitten balls. So get a heater for that peter. Were taking orders now! And everybody...bundle up, dress in layers and stay warm. This has been a Public Service Announcement.
With your welcoming mouth, why
ReplyDeletewould anyone need a Willy Warmer?
oh suh-NAP, girl!
DeleteThat's a toss up. His mouth or a Willy warmer????
DeleteI would assume that a mouth might need to eat (food) at some time, or get lock jaw, so there would be a cold period between suc...er warming. The knit thingy can stay on longer. Just a semi educated guess :)
Deleteit's like dating a glory hole.
DeleteNorma.... they do call me the welcome wagon around these parts
Deletemy ex would fit the "95% imagination" space.
ReplyDeleteYou poor thing....no WONDER you left.
DeleteOMG!!!!!Not untrue.....but not while I'm drinking!!!!!!! What bracket our minds would like to know do you fall mistress??????
ReplyDeleteIn your case...it would be like squeezing two bowling balls and a 8" banana into a crown royal bag. I'm guessing.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I've witnessed, it would need between the Large Girls & Small Cattle and Homewrecker.... ;-)
DeleteSounds like you two have first hand knowledge??????????
DeleteMaybe I can stich my three crown royal bags together?
DeleteLol.lol.lol.lol!!!! Always looking out for us! Could I set up an appointment with Anne for a larger girls and small cattle model?
ReplyDeleteDoes the Willie Warmer have girth sizes, too? Asking for a friend.....
ReplyDeleteWe'll have to consult Anne Marie on that one.
DeleteYahoo! YeeHaw!! A Willy Warmer, made to order with a Peter Meter. Love it. Just a thought: Hands have been known to keep the bits heated up!
ReplyDeleteStay warm over there, folks; it's gonna be bitter cold.
And, send me one in Homewrecker, please....
DeleteAm I too assume your volunteering?
DeleteHow lovely to be a woman, with internal heated equipment, for the most part.
ReplyDeleteJust for research purposes, do you take the measurements while said willy is dormant or fully awake? I suppose there is such a thing as stretchy yarn. Of course, fully awake implies warmth, so never mind.
Funny stuff, once I got past the first picture. It took awhile.
sadly, in the mistress case, is there a dormant peroid???????
DeleteOh dear, that must be exhausting and uncomfortable! Anitia Moorecock, love, love that name!
DeleteDeedles...please do not encourage Ms Moorecock.
DeleteSigh, Maddie, sweetie, precious, I'm gonna need a list of rules to ignore.
DeletePETER METER!!!! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the timely and informative PSA.
ReplyDeleteI would like to keep the jewels safe and warm, but wool is itchy. Is the Willy Warmer available in velour? I will also accept genuine beaver or Mariah Carey's chesticles.
The Mistress will take care of it......you'll be in good hands!
DeleteI'm sure she could do a velour willy warmer for you. Maybe one with racing stripes on the side!!!!
DeleteGee.... I don't remember having that picture...
ReplyDeleteYou always leave us in good hands. Meanwhile wow baby...it's cold outside. I feel for you east coasters. Now lets take my wow measurement........
ReplyDeleteOMG! Now who here is laying bets?
ReplyDeletejust don't take the mistress into the betting room........
DeleteIn Canada, Willie Warmers are called Peter Heaters. Just FYI.
ReplyDeleteDebra is correct.
DeleteTell anne marie ill take seven.....with the says of the week on them. How fun will that be?
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking you need to get out more.
DeleteIn these temps, I go from For Large Girl and Small Cattle to Seen Better Days.
ReplyDeleteWell...better that should have been a female.
Deleteplease...it would take her a week to knit your sucker.
ReplyDeleteOh my, speechless!
ReplyDeleteWilly Warmer or mouth..... hmmmm, I think I will have to take the mouth and chance it the rest of the time. BUT now that I'm thinking about it; does that willy in the pic belong to the mistress? maybe I need to warm your willy. *applying the throat numbing spray*
ReplyDeleteI'll take a warmer please!
DeleteIf that is the Mistress in that picture, I wonder if he wants to start dating!!!!
DeleteCan we have a photo spread of you in your willy warmer??????
ReplyDeleteI usually go commando...but even here it's been cold. If Anne Marie measures me is she professional for sure?
ReplyDeleteShe is very professional.....although she does seem to take ALOT of time on taking measurements.
DeleteMistress, this post had me in stiches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMistress who are you kidding....you wearing a willy warmer? That's what the Lad is for I thought?
ReplyDeleteHard to keep it warm when the bitch is in VA!!!!!
DeleteLOL,LO,LOL,LOL You can get measured than paddled with the Peter Meter. And having seen the Mistress's goods on another site....your junk aint fittin in that thing. I wouldn't mind a nice cashmere willy warmer myself.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is very nice,Thanks for sharing good blog.
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I could gladly lend a hand to hold your cock down while it's being measured.
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