I just got done with our Pride festivities, and now I have to go to the city this week, which is fine with me hunties.... what a better time then during Fleet Week!!!
There's just something about one of these military men that's so appealing. They're usually young, in excellent shape, clean, neat, and, most importantly, shipping out in a few days, the Mistress's favorite part. This is not the man you're going to marry, just a fun little fling. He's a knight that comes in his own shining armor. In fact, that all-white get-up is so shining, it's often blinding, making one sailor hard to tell from the next. Or was it just the gin??? And that's fine. You don't need to be picky. They come here each year for a week of fun and freedom and I'm guessing, searching the Mistress out from all the folklore they'd heard, even though some of these Navy men will have to work doing community service and other sorts of public outreachy things. Remember: This is just a big publicity stunt to make people love our armed forces, and if it's love they want, by damn it, they'll get it. I'm all about doing my part to make them feel better I tell ya. Here's how you can take advantage with my helpful tips to seducing one of the 3,000 seamen... who will be in town this week!!!!
Go Where the Boys Are: They've set up a command center on Pier 88 in Midtown near where the Intrepid is eternally moored. This would be a great place to start. In fact, most of them don't bother leaving Midtown, so stick close to the area. Make sure to have the come hither look.
Dress the Part: These military men are going to be ready to hit on everything that moves, but the government has them trained to be well-behaved. How to make a statement without saying a word? Your outfit. A little bit of unbuttoned shirt for me and a nice pair of tight slim fit jeans and for the women, a skirt and a shorter skirt than usual should do the trick. And heels. Get all done up in your girlie finest and show lots of skin. And guys , don't be afraid to give a hint of what you were blessed with either. These guys get plenty of macho when they're at work. Show off a thigh, or that nice basket on display, and you'll have someone up your dress, or down your jeans in no time. Oh, and wearing the good underwear goes without saying!!!
Get Them Drunk: The Mistress has this more then covered. The one problem with Fleet Week is that the demand for sailors will far exceed the supply, EVEN for MOI. Yes, they'll all want to get laid, but there will be plenty of people willing to entertain them for an evening. What do you do if you're maybe not as attractive as some of the other girls and guys in the bar? Give our men in white the other thing they want: booze! After a few cocktails, you'll look just fine to take home, and they'll be so grateful for the drinks, that they'll show their gratitude all night, Straight or not, trust me dears! Just don't go overboard. There's nothing worse than getting him home to find out there's not going to be any ammo in his gun.
Have a Place to Crash: Aside from alcohol and loose whores, the other thing that is at a premium on a large vessel is privacy. Having your own place is key to getting a sailor back home. He's probably still crashing on his boat, so you can't go there, and he's not going to want to deal with your roommates or your parents or your boyfriend or whatever other squatters are cluttering up your abode. Spring for a cheap hotel room for the night. He won't care if it's a fleabag no tell motel in Times Square as long as there's a bed and a bit of solitude, and a outlet that needs plugged. Carry a can of Febreze and some moist towelettes. They do wonders to a cheap room.
Wait Outside of Strip Clubs: If you're really having a hard time meeting that sailor, then just skulk around any of the strip clubs in Midtown, or go-go boy bars. This is the strange thing about strip clubs, they get the guys all worked up, but most of these petty officers don't have the cash to afford to, well, get off with one of the working help. Where does that leave them? Walking home alone, half-drunk, and with nothing in their wallet but a swelling problem in their pants. All you have to do is be there dears...and all the work up to is already done for you. Work smart not hard dears!
Be a Closer: Like I said, there's going to be a lot of competition for these boys. Also, they'll be around their friends and probably alcohol, which could lead to diversion. Don't be the one who spends a bunch of time working a sailor and then goes home empty-handed. Don't be shy, go for what you want girl, and you'll have a Fleet Week story all your own. Hell, you may even entertain one and his friends!!!! And, for the love of Christ, when you nab him or them, please use a condom, or else you'll be telling the story about how you enjoyed seafood for the next month from Fleet Week. Excuse me now, I must polish up on my nautical rope knot skills.......