Wednesday, September 25, 2024

CHUCKLES


I can tell you, thank HEAVENS the Lad is back in VA for the time being. Over the last month he was quite the handful. He tells the worst jokes. He asked me one night, Mistress did you hear about the man with five penises? I said no Adrien. He said, I heard his pants fit like a glove.

He then asked me what was 500 feet long and has no pubic hair? I said what Adrien. He said the first row of a Taylor Swift concert.

And boy can he be an idiot. He said one day he took laxatives and laughing gas at the same time. I said why Adrien? And he said for shit and giggles.

Then he had the gull one night to tell me to stop drinking so much or I was going to hell. I told him that thankfully, the floor stops me every time.

One morning he asked me what masturbation and brain damage have in common? I said Whhhat Adrien? He said after a few strokes it's all over.

One night while getting in bed, I ask the Lad, Adrien, what turns you on more about me. Is it my sexy body or my handsome face? He looked me up and down and said it was my sense of humor.

While in Ptown, you wouldn't believe what I walked into the bathroom seeing him doing, He was bleaching his asshole. I yelled Adrien. What THE HELL are you doing? You can't do that to yourself. he said , Well, your the one who told me to change my ringtone.

And the politics! They just keep giving. Do you know what you call politicians with half a brain?
Gifted!

Do you know what trump's wiglet and a thong have in common? They both barely cover an asshole.


Could JD Vance have been here?

Me...after my summer....

But what can I say

I like my men like a like my coffee. Sort of hot and picked up at a gas station.

And speaking of sex.  Did you know sex is like a gas station. Sometimes you get full service, sometimes you have to ask for service, and sometimes you got to be god damned happy self-service.

2 comments:

Go ahead darling, tell me something fabulous!