FROM THE CANDY SHOP

 
While the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts caption contest continues, this week in the Candy Shop we have one of my special treats I generally keep to myself for special reserve, but what the hell!!! My obsession love for this ginger is probably not healthy. He is a uber sexy stud, a goof ball at times, and a man of my dreams, what with those sexy glasses, that cute ass, that adorable face, and those come-hither eyes. And the jewels are nothing to sneeze at either. Jeff Tomsik is like the Buffy to my vampire, the Big to my Carrie, the Lady Gaga to my dancefloor.  Jeff was discovered as a garage collector, then took the male modeling world by storm...still modeling for Ralph Lauren and Saks Fifth Avenue. I tell you; he sets my heart and other parts a flutter, and I won't even mention what I could and would do to his banging body. But it's the ginger aspect and glasses that slay me.

THE FREAKIN'GREEN ELF SHORTS COMPETITION

 
 It's finally here!!!! My time to rid myself of these god damned tacky, stained filled and germ-infested things!!!!! As our dear Jon stated, we're surprised that Greta Thunberg hasn't gotten involved yet with ridding the planet of these things! As I stated earlier, I won them from Ms. Scarlet's caption competition. When they arrived, they were in such a beautiful box, little did I know what was actually in the box. I thought I had forgotten I ordered something from Italy. But no...it was the shorts. Here is the box and a lovely written note in Ms Scarlet's lovely penmanship. 

Now, to see what the competition is all about, and its history please see the previous post for details. Here are a few of the outtakes that ended up on the cutting room floor.

NOW BEHOLD....without further ado... The 2022 Freakin'Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition!!!! 

Put on your thinking caps, sharpen your tongue, and throw some shade, if need be, and simply cast your perfect caption for the above picture!!!! You can enter as many captions as you want for up to one week, at which time, the contest will close and I will then pick a sucker, oh, I meant winner, yes winner, for the shorts to carry on a famous and legendary blogging tradition of the bloggerati. If you place a caption in the comments section and don't want to win the shorts, just add "do not enter" after your caption, but we can still get a good chuckle from your caption at least. After the week, one winner will be chosen for the shorts, bragging rights, bwhahahahaha, and the title of the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Winner, and some souvenirs from my neck of the woods, and a non-blog owner will be chosen also to receive a little trinket of my adoration of you. And rest assure, I did NOT have sex in these!!!!

Good Luck to you all...now let the fun begin kids!!!!

FGES-GIRD YOUR LOINS

Yes...we are still up and out on the Cape of P-town...but while away, this is your special preview issue, details of the soon to be held Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Competition!!!! I know some of you are aware of the flea ridden, stained, and yet, fashionable shorts are all about. For those that don't, here is a basic history for how all this hoopla started.  The legend of these Freakin' Green Elf Shorts began in Ohio in 2004 when Andrea Knapp bought a pair of novelty Elf Shorts for her husband, George as a gag gift. (And when I received them, I did just that.)  For a laugh, Andrea then decided to turn it into a caption competition, not thinking ANYONE would want to win them...and the rest is Blogging history all these years later, with the damn shorts traveling all over the globe!!! As Ms. Scarlet, a past winner, twice, the poor thing, said, "The general idea of the Freakin'Green Elf Shorts Competiton is to post a photo of yourself on your blog wearing THE SHORTS. Whoever comes up with the best caption to the photo wins The Shorts. The current holder of THE SHORTS, then sends them to the sucker lucky winner and a few souvenirs from their country. An in-depth history of the Shorts can be found here, thanks to Rimpy Rimpington and the Mistress MJ.

Some Q&A

What do I have to do to win? You take a good long look at the photo I will post soon, and create a caption that will take my breath away, or leave me wet, hopefully not in the shorts, with laughter. You will post your comment in the comments section. Once the contest ends, I will choose a poor sucker winner.

May I leave more than one comment? Yes!!!! For all I care you can come back every hour and comment if you want!!

What happens if I win? RUN and move quick!!! Surely, I jest. Should you win, Ill send you the shorts and along with some souvenirs from my neck of the wood or country. The best part, you will have the shorts, and then you have to take a photo of yourself and host the next caption competition on your blog.

What if I don't have a blog or website? Well... as my crush du jour, that tall glass of water, Mr. DeVice says. No, you can't win and are shit of luck. But being the easy laid-back sport I am, I know I have many readers who don't have a blog. So... I will also pick a winner to send a little trinket of my affection too, who leaves the best comment from someone who doesn't have a blog, so you too can par-take in the fun...and doge the bullet of these stained shorts. Just what these previous bitches did with these things is beyond me? But the winner of the Freakin Green Elf Shorts and souvenirs must have a blog.

What if I don't want to win The Shorts, but I want to comment a caption anyhow? You may go head and leave a caption, and just say you don't want to be entered in the contest. But it's beyond me why anyone wouldn't want these damn frickin shorts.

Some of the past winners....

Ms. Scarlet...whom I won them from. She was even cheeky enough to post me not in the real Freakin' Green Elf Shorts. You can also see my winning caption.

Mr.DeVice...a twice winner also. I still wonder how he kept his junk from hanging out from under those flaps?

Mistress MJ who was brave enough to place them over her head. She hasn't been right since. At least she isn't wearing crocs yet.

Rimpy Rimpington, our historian of the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts and past winner. I understand shortly after this snap he was arrested for indecent exposure. We are just at the wrong angle to see the dangle of such delights.

And our dear Eros Wing who it seems, didn't need to wear them. As far as I'm concerned, he can just keep the hat and boots on!!!! Lose the shorts lambchop!!! Eros once said he was 6' 11" tall. I said to him, Well, never mind the 6'. Let's talk about the 11".

So stay tuned kids!!!! Refer back to this post again if need be...and watch this space in a day for the photo of yours truly to be posted!!!! Warm them minds and sharpen them tongues!!!!

REST & RELAX

 After this most tiring election cycle with services and volunteering, (a victory, THANKFULLY for Shapiro and Fetterman...regrettably for my state rep democratic candidate Sara Agerton and US House rep, Shamaine Daniels, who just about handed the rotten Perry his head, lost.) I'm taking a stretch before hitting the road for a week to go visit Pearly and other friends in Provincetown. Be on the lookout for a scheduled post on how you can be the lucky winner of the internationally acclaimed Freakin' Green Elf Shorts. Hopefully they won't be filled with sand. I will try to pop around if time permits, otherwise...

Tootles till then kids!