Wednesday, October 25, 2017

ADVICE FROM A BIRTHDAY BITCH

Well, yes....today does happen to be the day yours truly was born, and I'm not one to usually make a big deal about my birthday, but I figure if I didn't post something Ms Moorecock might royally embarrass me.  Now don't get me wrong... I do celebrate it and will be dinning out tonight in Philly with some friends and the Lad, but I like it to be a low key event and just let those bitches pick up the bill and I'm happy with that. That and maybe some go-go boys! I don't mind aging like some, but many have said I have aged remarkably well. They'd be correct, since I bath in moisturizer at night. When I do start looking my age, then I'll worry. But in these years I have learned many things to make birthdays and life much more manageable, and not a big deal., and still have fun. How I get through birthdays and life advice.

When I give my age, and someone corrects me with me real age. Here is my REALLY? face.

Anybody can be paid to hide the real age.

Don't ever shock me with a surprise birthday party. Joan and I are both good with axes.

Always carry your sunglasses with you. In my case, they come in handy!

Never, ever, worry about dressing casual on your birthday, I always wear something more understated.

Remember, there is ALWAYS time for a cock-a-tail!

I always have a back up plan when I get multiple drinks sent my way.

Now matter the issue, the Mistress is not to be trifled with. I'll scare the shit out of you  and ask questions later.

And when it comes to the mens, I've been told......

When out or at parties, and find a few guys fun, I've been a good multi tasker. Just kill three birds with one stone.

Never be a good boy. If you want a good boy go to church is my motto.

But when I find the one a really want, never give in right away.

I have had a fun life so far, and can't really complain or want for much, and I'm just thankful I'm not sitting in my chair in the evenings acting crazy yet.

So that's always a good thing. For another year, my motto will still be and forever...LIVE! LIVE! Life's a banquet, and some poor suckers are starving to death.

Amen to that sister!
Bottoms up bitches.... to another year!

48 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday, and have fun in Philly tonight!

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  2. Happiest of birthdays to you, my mistress! Age is only a number we assign. Did you know in India they start on the day of actual birth; when they say they are 2, it is what we call 1. So, don't ever concern yourself with numbers - concern yourself only with how you feel. Hugs and kisses.

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  3. Happy, happy birthday, Mistress Maddie! Here - have a song, just for you... Jx

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    1. " Don't you be rolling your eyes at me, you that fuck do you think you are."

      I love that song dear!!!!! Thank you fellow Gin Blossom💋

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    2. "There's a whole lotta ass back here you'd better start kissing!"

      Indeed. Jx

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  4. You're only as old as you feel, ack! I'm 61 but I feel 106, so that platitude doesn't work for me. Since 'black don't crack' I look ten years younger (than 106), heh. Enjoy your day.

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    1. Well you seem funny and quick so you are young to me!!!! I feel about early thirties still!

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  5. Happy birthday. Enjoy!

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  6. Hope yours is gag worthy!

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    Replies
    1. When isn't he gagging?

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    2. suh-NAP, girl! so what did the houseboyz give the mistress for her birthday?

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    3. More like giving someone a worthy gag. Mostly likely the Lad. Happy Birthday!

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    4. It usually ends up being a gas.

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  7. Norma just dished that it's your birthday.

    Just in time for your garden post over at mine.

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  8. Party on, Mistress, party on! You'll never be old!

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  9. May your birthday be filled with all of the sweet and scrumptious things that you can possibly handle. Have a fantastic day - and keep the birthday celebrations going all year!

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  10. Happy Happy! And many more!
    My sister used to say to me, every time we visited, "How come you don't look any older??"

    And I'd say, "It's against the rules for a gay to age."

    I'm sticking with that!

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    Replies
    1. Friends often ask me am I in a deal like the movie Death Becomes Her.

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  11. Oh cripes,does this post scream you

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  12. Happy Birthday Mistress! You forget I have seen you juggle four drinks at once.

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  13. dear, I thought the first picture was you when you saw a whopper? happy birthday!

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  14. Bottoms up indeed! Happy birthday!!!

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  15. Anonymous10/25/2017

    Wishing you a wonderful birthday Mistress!!! Enjoy your evening with your friends and celebrate with a few cock-a-tails.

    Lenalee

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  16. You can be a naughty boy sometimes??? Sometimes? How much cake did you inhale today? Now, let's smack that bubble butt with birthday smacks.

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  17. I swear this girl NEVER ages, nor gets tired! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, QUEEN MADDIE! SMOOCHES!

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    Replies
    1. I sure would like to know his secret??????? He eats and keeps that ass!

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    2. It helps when Moorecock passes out the beer goggles before a receive people.

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  18. Jesus H Christ...... is hate to see your bar bill!!!!! Happy Birthday my dear Mistress.

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  19. Now you know I adored this post....with those pictures and probably all very true. I wish you the happiest of years to come yet! I have heard to never trifle with you , just like Crawford. Happy Birthday.

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  20. Well HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU !!! XOXOXOXOXO I sure wouldn't want to see my candles on my cake!

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  21. I am sure you looked werepretty fierce & full of smiles today.
    happy buuurthday lovely, hope it is filled with lots of hugs, kisses, giggles, hot sex and cake & of course cock-a-tails! ♥

    You really are quite something.

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  22. All these are words to live by, especially The longer they wait the better they like it! Happy Birthday Cutie!

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  23. Came over from MJ's to say:

    *~.~•~.~*~.~•~.~*~.~•~.~
    Happy Birthday, Mistress Maddie!
    __i_i_i__
    [*O*O*O]
    [O*O*O*]
    •~.~*~•~.~*~•~.~*~•~.~*~
    Cheers and Best Wishes for many more years of good food, good company, and good times!!!
    .*.~•~.*.~•~.*.~•~.*.~•~.*.~•~
    Feliz cumpleaños!!!
    •.
    (.*)
    _I_
    *..•..*..•..*..•..

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    Replies
    1. What a dear!!!!!! Thank you for stopping in!!!!

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  24. Happy Birthday and may all of your Birthday Wishes come true! This post made me chuckle, and not untrue of you I'm guessing.

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  25. Love your birthday outfit!!!! Leave it to you to look understated for sure. And definelty some good advise here. HAPPY BIRTHDAY and time out.

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  26. Does this mean you'll be sore to walk tomorrow from a foursome???

    Hope it's a real Happy Birthday🎈🎈🎈

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  27. Hope you had an awesome bday handsome!!!! May your night be filled with yet more "magic"

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  28. YAY!!
    Happy birthday
    and congrats for the post
    it's delicious
    ^_^

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  29. Your remarkablbly well preserved and very fit!!!!! Hope you had a fun Birthday!!!!!

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  30. Happy birthday, sweetheart. I just want to tell you that, if you WERE acting crazy, YOU wouldn't know it. But then it wouldn't matter anyway. I love that first photo of you. Is that bow how you keep the face looking so tight?

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  31. I love that you can multi task with your men, that takes some talent! Unfortunately I'm the old crazy let in that chair. Happy Birthday again Mistress.

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  32. Happiest of birthdays to you Mistress!

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  33. I sure hope you had a great birthday and dinner out. Did you get to multi task with at least three guys??? Love this post...what a laugh and it fits.

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  34. I have been so busy this week, I haven't had a chance to stop in and comment back much, But...A HUGE THANK YOU for all the well wishes for my birthday...I love you all like a rash!

    💋💋💋💋💋

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  35. Happy B-Lated Birthday handsome!!!! This post had me roaring with your advice.

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  36. I sure hope you had a beautiful day...I would be remiss if I didn't stop to wish you a Happy Birthday! I have been behind lately reading blogs dear.

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Go ahead darling, tell me something fabulous!