Monday, February 15, 2010

Thoughts on "The Ugly Cry"

With The Mistress outdoing herself for yet another VD – the labor-intensive cooking and alcohol-intensive wine conspiring against her – she has retired early, and given yours truly a moment to contemplate one of the most glorious things in reality television. (Plus, since The Mistress hates reality TV…it’s a good time to do this while she isn’t looking. ;)

Namely, the ugly cry. You know the one. Sniveling, snot-filled, maybe a couple jagged breaths…all to the point of feeling sorry – well, not sorry, more like humiliated – FOR the person crying. And especially when they have no legitimate reason to cry!

No one is sure where exactly the ugly cry initiated. But long a staple of Hollywood, both real:

And fictional:

It is one thing that brings forth peals of laughter from The Mistress’s abode. Hell, when Starbooty sniffed her last catnip, we alternated between sobbing uncontrollably and laughing at the snot bubbles coming out of the other one’s nose. Gross? Fine; I digress. But the point is, we certainly loved and missed her, and even with that, recognized just how silly we were being. (Starbooty certainly would have been over it, licking herself and walking away from the hysterical queens.)

Anyhow...we really started talking about this last night, when I was watching Tool Academy 3 (don’t hate, was a great bridge between – ahem – other activities), and we saw Angelo, a Long Island-bred Greek slab of manmeat that makes my teeth sweat:

Unfortunately, Angelo is also susceptible to the ugly cry. Like when he admitted to sleeping with 200+ women. And repeatedly cheating on his girlfriend, a bartender that he dates “because it’s easier“ to find women through her. And still living with his parents during this.

And of course, for Kailyn, the greatest ugly cry in reality television:

So, readers, come and share! When was your ugliest (and admittedly, in hindsight, probably most hilarious) cry?

Boy Toy :)


  1. Oh, my god. He dates a girl he works with so he can meet women to shag through her! He's a fucking bartender- he could get a shag every night if he wants!! Why the hell does he have to drag her into it? And when the hell did Miss Ginger become British?!!!!

    It hurts Miss Ginger's brain when you blog... she has to think!!!! No wonder the Mistress drinks- God, love her!!

  2. Oh please, some of those cries are so ugly I can't even watch them for fear of nightmares!

  3. This batch on Tool Academy looks exceptional.

    And OMG I had forgotten how much Amber cried. Drove me nuts.

  4. Most of my ugly cries happened when my cats died (especially two of them).

  5. I agree with you Boy-toy! While I don't watch too much reality tv, ok, I can't stand it, there are so damn ugly dog cries on the shows. You must have to be a blubbering idiot to get on these shows!

  6. Mistress Maddie #1 FanFebruary 16, 2010 at 5:56 PM

    I was waiting for the big baby Amber to drown in her own tears that year! A funny post, but I don't see the attraction to Angelo. Yuck. Nice body though.

  7. I don't watch this show, but by the clip you showed us that is a pretty ugly!!! And so is the cry!

  8. I love the crazy, white trash reality shows! It's like watching a frickin train wreak! Tool Academy is the worst. And for some reason, reality tv gets the worst damn crying wimps!!! And how bout the big ole' lesbo on there! She beat their asses!

  9. Thats the best part of watching these damn shows is too see the cry babies! Real World has the fair shre also. Hope the Mistress isn't too passed out!!!


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