Dear Fat Boy. Ah, Santa-
It's that time of year again, cold weather, warm cockles and lots of holiday love when I think of you. Now I don't know what you have heard, or what technology you use to check up on people, but take my word on this, I have been trying for years to get off the naughty list. This year, I was done several things, wholesome things to get off the list.
1-
2-
3-
Well, I'll fill those in later. Is it really that important at this late date? Take my word tootes, I have been very good this year and have yet again written you this letter of my holiday gift requirements.
Now pay attention here, this year I have even gave you pictures to go by so can we get this right this year. I don't want another vibrator, underwear, sock or sweet treats.
Now, I would love and need this stunning dressing table for the boudoir
I want these lovely items....
A vintage Citroen convertible
Gin infused bubble bath.
While were at it, how bout a gin advent calendar.
This boudoir ensemble for the stated reason.
I also want this kitchen I saw on Bob's blog...preferably installed by shitless contractors.
On my gimmie gimmie gimmie list.
Willie Gomez
And if it can be arranged, could you possible remove Sarah Huckabee Saunders mouth...or at least give the poor creature a ounce of fashion sense.
See, I just put someone else's' needs before mine.
I am looking forward to a special Christmas Eve with you. I really love your tight Santa suit, and I love being caught under mistletoe. wink wink. I will be sure to have some yummy cheeses and some gin for you and an extra surprise that's I'm sure you'll love!!! Thanks for letting me share my Christmas list yet again. Let's make this happen stretch.
Ciao for now...
Your sincere minx-
the Mistress Borghese
💋
May all your Christmas wishes come true. Gin Bubble Bath?!
ReplyDelete:-)
Perhaps Santa will have Willie Gomez install the kitchen and then take a gin bubble bath with you?
ReplyDeleteI like the way you think!!!!
DeleteDon't wear Santa out before he gets to everyone else's house!
ReplyDeleteShirtless? No, I prefer naked. :-)
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend. Hugs!!!
Warm cockles aren't enough? Sheesh! You can't have too many vibrators (so I've been told *cough*).
ReplyDeleteNow, I haven't been at all involved with holidays since I was seventeen, but I seem to recall the traditional treat for Santa was milk and cookies, not cheese, gin and what I assume to be a savory sausage or two. Times change. I wouldn't mind having that car myself.
Keep working on that "nice" list. I have faith that you can do it, Sweetie.
Too many vibators????? You been talking to Anne Marie again?
DeleteI think perhaps the outfit on the right would be more appropriate for the funeral.
ReplyDeleteWell at least for a month of mourning right.
DeleteYou were very Marilyn Monroe-ish with your Christmas wishes, you can be so bold because as much as we all love your blog, your name is written on the naughty list with permanent marker! Oh well like Mae West, when you're bad, you're better. Plus you messed up when you called him fat, he's not fat, he's a bear!
ReplyDeleteYes, your right. I do have more Mae qualities. I have never broken any laws, but may have cracked a few.
DeleteI think Willie Gomez should lay low (so to speak) until after your wealthy husband's funeral. Then you can go on an extended European vacation.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful Christmas list! May all your wishes come true.
I do see Willie and I together with no clothes and tons of sand........
DeleteI'm am totally obsessed over that dressing table!!!!! Where ever did you find that???
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile this post gave me a good chuckle...William is just looking at me......
My lands....are you asking for gifts or planning to seduce the fat fart???
ReplyDeleteThe Citeron is soooooo you.
Flattery should work with the fat boy!
ReplyDeleteI too wouldn't mind that kitchen, car or dressing table either.
I wonder if anyone has ever before called Santa 'Toots' in their letter. Anyway, Toots, I'll take one of those Citroens, as well.
ReplyDeleteYou'll have Willie Gomez worn out in one week like a new toy mistress.
ReplyDeleteAt least he doesn't require two AA batteries.
Deletethat's it, you're getting undies and sox for xmess, you naughty girl!
ReplyDeleteNow that looks my my kind of list girl. And Willie......GOOD GOD!
ReplyDeleteVery tasteful and understated... (ahem). The Citroen is beautiful, as is that dressing table, but my favourite has to be the boudoir ensemble. Very you!
ReplyDeleteIf another thing never came out of Huckabee's mouth, would be gift enough. Loved the list,lol!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but notice the three bullet points were blank dear.
ReplyDeleteThat advent calendar would last you one night dear.
ReplyDeletePretty funny post and no doubt you really wrote that, ha. The vintage Citeron is amazing. Why dont car have chic, style anymore???
ReplyDeletea Willie on your willy. a gift that keeps on giving.
ReplyDelete