Gay Market Shopping with the Mistress

People used to say it was a huge production for me just to go to the grocery store. Yes it is. I never step outside to run errands till I'm all cute and presentable, for you just never know who you may run into! For it could be my next husband! Most of the food stores around here at the four clock hour, is like happy hour at the bar, with some much flirting. My ex and the Lad say I'm very entertaining to food shop with, as I try to get a reaction from people sometimes. But being me and a gay guy it is even more entertaining to what goes through my mind.

If one could go and buy boys like above I would!!! The first thing I decide is which jeans to wear. I will admit to having a nice behind, why not show it!

 

* Upon getting to the store , will it be a cart or a basket? The basket is more butch and when it gets heavy it will pop the arm muscles, but the cart is far more entertaining for cart couture, plus it is easier to strut! WERK!

 

*Fruity Pebbles is usually a major score!

 

* The cookies aisle? Honeys, I want to stay in my 30 waist jeans.

 

*When I get to the snack aisle, will it be potato chips or  cheese twists, hummmm, which is easier to throw up? I'll worry about that later.

 

* I will admit to being a ice cream whore. I will pick up two gallons, and then think I'm a fat heifer with no self control! But it gets worked off.

 

 

* I love my fruit aisle, but when I handle the melons, am I the only gay who wonders how women handle these suckers?

 

*Sometimes when I see the bananas it reminds to to give the Lad a call.

 

 

* When you see the cucumbers does it remind you to call the hung South American trick? Or am I the only one?

 

 

* The meats aisle is always a issue. Which piece of meat do I go with? The big fat one, or the little one? Silly me, you know size matters. Thicker is always better!

 

* This is about the time you spot the hot jock walking around, so I will start my " giving him body pose."

 

 

*Eggs? Eggs got protein. Do I really need more protein in my daily diet!

 

* Then there the juice aisle- MIXERS!

 

* The cream and nuts aisle always get me. And when in the dog food aisle the biscuits with description, " moist and meaty" always make me chuckle.

 

 

 

And then there is the flower stand, where the manager there looks almost like the above. I will ask him which stems will hold up the longest!

 

*Before leaving the store, I pass the cute guy again, giving him one last look, before he sees me at happy hour.

 

And when I get home, imagine my surprise to see I have read the container wrong......