I have been seeing the commercials for about a month or so now … Heinz has introduced a new yellow mustard that is meant to push-out their longstanding rival French’s from your summertime hotdogs and hamburger oink fests. What has always been a grill-side staple of Heinz ketchup and French’s yellow mustard, which has always been a happy coexistence of two rival condiments that complimented each other perfectly and who always had a spot in a condiment caddy at my grandmothers' house on the picnic table, are now in the midst of a nasty breakup leaving us, the hotdog and hamburger consuming public, choosing sides. I for one am 100% in French’s camp. The fact that the evil Heinz empire is not content with being the largest selling brand of ketchup in the United States and wanting to branch-out and corner the market and monopolize on mustard too, is absolutely repulsive When I found out that French’s has retaliated by introducing their own line of ketchup, I anxiously scanned the supermarket shelves to show my love for this beloved underdog company and their right to exist in the marketplace. So, next-time you’re poolside, grill-side, lakeside, campfire-side, ocean-side, bed-side.... reach for the French’s and tell these money-hungry bitches at Heinz that they can take their “57 Varieties” and shove ‘em! Money-hungry rat finks! How dare they disrupt the harmony of the picnic tradition!!!
FUCK YEAH! it's heinz ketchup AND french's mustard. PERIOD. no rubbish (as dr. spo would say).
ReplyDeleteI remember when french's was sold in those glass jars; you never quite got out the yellow goodness at the bottom. thank the dogs and cats for squeeze plastic bottles!
PS - CUTTING THE MUSTARD is better than cutting the cheese in polite company! ;-)
DeleteCuttin the mustard...cuttin the chesse....... I say if you can't catch them, shoot em!
DeleteWell hell....thats gonns throw the whole holiday!!!!
ReplyDeleteIs a crime!!
ReplyDeleteI'm a Dijon mustard girl myself.
ReplyDeleteI say, do you have any grey poupon?
Deleteyou'd do whatever "hot dan" told you to do, right?
ReplyDeleteBoy, do you know me.........
DeleteRat bastards I say!
ReplyDeleteNow that you mention this o have noticed this. Oh dear, what shall I do this 4th!?!? It was always a no brainer.
ReplyDeleteLike we don't already have enough daily decisions to make. But French's really is the ONLY mustard!!!
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding me? French's by far. Heinz mustard look and taste like baby poop😝. And cause a lot of people don't buy heinz, it tends to stay on the shelf longer. Heinz needs to stay in their lane with the ketchup. french's could out do them in that area also
ReplyDeleteOn the yellow mustard side, yup its French's
ReplyDeleteHeinz is only good for Ketchup and pickles.
Grey Poupon... Now that's a good smooth mustard!
frenches! And I do think Ill buy there ketchup now too.
ReplyDeleteAs a professional Chef of some notoriety, I agree completely with the assessment that French's is the best prepared (yellow) mustard. However, Hunt's ketchup is superior to Heinz's, ask your experienced Chef friends,or just try it yourself.
ReplyDeleteBut if you bring me a burnt hamburger and take the plate away when I'm finished, I'm in heaven..!!!
Now excuse me, I have to go start cooking...
hunt's is too watery; besides, I like keeping pennsylvanians employed in pittsburgh making my fave ketchup.
DeleteI think you may be right Wallingford. I had Hunt's once, and it was much richer in taste. I may need you to do some food reviews one day.
DeleteAnytime!
DeleteYou can test for viscosity at home by putting equal amounts of Heinz's & Hunt's into respective paper coffee filters, wait fifteen minutes and you will have your answer!
Just how many gins have you had Mistress?
ReplyDeleteprobably not enough! :)
DeleteOMG…the "old" mustard ad cracks me up. Well, I have to keep my tradition, so it will be Heinz and French's like always.
ReplyDeletewho knew? I figured as long as it was spreadable you were fine with it.
ReplyDeletethat only goes for da menz, dear.
DeleteHA!
DeleteAll three of you may just be barred.
Deleterecently purchased some Heinz Mustard and some French's Ketchup. Over the next few days I personally will conduct a taste test
ReplyDeleteYou really may need to get out more.
DeleteI'm not that picky about mustard so I just buy the store brand or French's, but my ketchup must be Hunts. It just tastes better to me.
ReplyDeleteNobody wins in a war like this..
ReplyDeleteHey, why don't we try blending these condiments together in one bottle? We can call it ketstard. Or maybe muschup."
ReplyDeleteNo, no, it's too horrible to contemplate.
no no no! don't even THINK about it!
DeleteAnd French's taste so much better in a deviled egg.
ReplyDeleteshame it doesn't smell as good later.......
Deletethere you go, cutting the cheese again in polite company
DeleteUm no. I buy Beaver brand (Made in Oregon) because I prefer Russian mustard on my hot dog. And please tell me you do not use ketchup on your dog. That is an abomination.
ReplyDeletemy spouse puts heinz on his hot dogs - he deserves to be shunned.
DeleteNow leave it to you to start a damn international mustard collection now......im still getting through the cheeses. But no longer use ketchup on my dogs, just mustard. Truth be told, I prefer chili and onions if there available.
DeleteI love international mustards as much as cheeses. I usually have 6-8 mustards on hand. Oh and French's goes into potato salad.
DeleteOh and hot dog toppings? Russian mustard, sauerkraut, and onions.
Delete