Friday, July 3, 2015

CUTTING THE MUSTARD

 
 
I have been seeing the commercials for about a month or so now … Heinz has introduced a new yellow mustard that is meant to push-out their longstanding rival French’s from your summertime hotdogs and hamburger oink fests.  What has always been a grill-side staple of Heinz ketchup and French’s yellow mustard, which has always been a happy coexistence of two rival condiments that complimented each other perfectly and who always had a spot in a condiment caddy at my grandmothers' house on the picnic table, are now in the midst of a nasty breakup leaving us, the hotdog and hamburger consuming public, choosing sides.  I for one am 100% in French’s camp.  The fact that the evil Heinz empire is not content with being the largest selling brand of ketchup in the United States and wanting to branch-out and corner the market and monopolize on mustard too, is absolutely repulsive  When I found out that French’s has retaliated by introducing their own line of ketchup, I anxiously scanned the supermarket shelves to show my love for this beloved underdog company and their right to exist in the marketplace. So, next-time you’re poolside, grill-side, lakeside, campfire-side, ocean-side, bed-side.... reach for the French’s and tell these money-hungry bitches at Heinz that they can take their “57 Varieties” and shove ‘em! Money-hungry rat finks! How dare they disrupt the harmony of the picnic tradition!!!

40 comments:

  1. FUCK YEAH! it's heinz ketchup AND french's mustard. PERIOD. no rubbish (as dr. spo would say).

    I remember when french's was sold in those glass jars; you never quite got out the yellow goodness at the bottom. thank the dogs and cats for squeeze plastic bottles!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS - CUTTING THE MUSTARD is better than cutting the cheese in polite company! ;-)

      Delete
    2. Cuttin the mustard...cuttin the chesse....... I say if you can't catch them, shoot em!

      Delete
  2. Well hell....thats gonns throw the whole holiday!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm a Dijon mustard girl myself.

    ReplyDelete
  4. you'd do whatever "hot dan" told you to do, right?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Now that you mention this o have noticed this. Oh dear, what shall I do this 4th!?!? It was always a no brainer.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Like we don't already have enough daily decisions to make. But French's really is the ONLY mustard!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Are you kidding me? French's by far. Heinz mustard look and taste like baby poop😝. And cause a lot of people don't buy heinz, it tends to stay on the shelf longer. Heinz needs to stay in their lane with the ketchup. french's could out do them in that area also

    ReplyDelete
  8. On the yellow mustard side, yup its French's

    Heinz is only good for Ketchup and pickles.

    Grey Poupon... Now that's a good smooth mustard!

    ReplyDelete
  9. frenches! And I do think Ill buy there ketchup now too.

    ReplyDelete
  10. As a professional Chef of some notoriety, I agree completely with the assessment that French's is the best prepared (yellow) mustard. However, Hunt's ketchup is superior to Heinz's, ask your experienced Chef friends,or just try it yourself.
    But if you bring me a burnt hamburger and take the plate away when I'm finished, I'm in heaven..!!!
    Now excuse me, I have to go start cooking...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hunt's is too watery; besides, I like keeping pennsylvanians employed in pittsburgh making my fave ketchup.

      Delete
    2. I think you may be right Wallingford. I had Hunt's once, and it was much richer in taste. I may need you to do some food reviews one day.

      Delete
    3. Anytime!
      You can test for viscosity at home by putting equal amounts of Heinz's & Hunt's into respective paper coffee filters, wait fifteen minutes and you will have your answer!

      Delete
  11. Just how many gins have you had Mistress?

    ReplyDelete
  12. OMG…the "old" mustard ad cracks me up. Well, I have to keep my tradition, so it will be Heinz and French's like always.

    ReplyDelete
  13. who knew? I figured as long as it was spreadable you were fine with it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. recently purchased some Heinz Mustard and some French's Ketchup. Over the next few days I personally will conduct a taste test

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm not that picky about mustard so I just buy the store brand or French's, but my ketchup must be Hunts. It just tastes better to me.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hey, why don't we try blending these condiments together in one bottle? We can call it ketstard. Or maybe muschup."

    No, no, it's too horrible to contemplate.

    ReplyDelete
  17. And French's taste so much better in a deviled egg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. shame it doesn't smell as good later.......

      Delete
    2. there you go, cutting the cheese again in polite company

      Delete
  18. Um no. I buy Beaver brand (Made in Oregon) because I prefer Russian mustard on my hot dog. And please tell me you do not use ketchup on your dog. That is an abomination.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my spouse puts heinz on his hot dogs - he deserves to be shunned.

      Delete
    2. Now leave it to you to start a damn international mustard collection now......im still getting through the cheeses. But no longer use ketchup on my dogs, just mustard. Truth be told, I prefer chili and onions if there available.

      Delete
    3. I love international mustards as much as cheeses. I usually have 6-8 mustards on hand. Oh and French's goes into potato salad.

      Delete
    4. Oh and hot dog toppings? Russian mustard, sauerkraut, and onions.

      Delete

Go ahead darling, tell me something fabulous!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...