Tuesday, August 11, 2020

COVID SEX

THE WAIT IS OVER HENNY'S! 

After my Fourth of July pamphlet was yet another failure, I am sure this one will be a best seller. 89 Items In Your Household You didn't Know You Could Get Off Too. In these trying times, you coupled and marrieds are lucky.... but many of us singletons are suppose to go without sex, in fear of catching the virus. I know this is the longest I've ever gone with sex. Many of my friends ask me why I'm not more irritable and cranky? I tell them ,well, because I'm still having sex. That's right! But it's all self love and with things right at your finger tips. This is also good for the person if your on a covid budget.... it's going to answer questions for the insatiable bottoms,  and for the person who has maxed out there credit cards and can't afford sex toys.  Do you people realize that your house is waiting to fuck you? It's dying to fuck you! You'd be amazed at the items to bring one pleasure. 

 For starters those of you with a landline should keep it. There is nothing better then a trim line phone sex session.... to shove up your ass. Absolutely nothing like a good trim line, much better than a cell phone, and yet another reason to keep a landline . 

And doorknobs are not just for suicidal hangings anymore. Oh there wonderful...just back up on that door knob and go to town. And curtains rods are not just for drapes anymore. But you need to have a ladder to work the curtain rods. And remember when people use to use condoms and there were the condoms ribbed for a ladies pleasure? Well, don't forget about the everyday toilet brush. Those bristles are just like a ribbed condom. It serves a dual purpose to pleasure yourself while cleaning yourself out.  That's when you want to have the Ajax and Comet at the end of that brush.

In the shower? Don't forget those shower heads! I have to say, in my life, there have been quite a few shower heads that have caught my eye — and made me late to work.

Sometimes you need not look any further than your kitchen.All you have to do is look at a well-endowed zucchini or cucumber or banana to know that someone, somewhere is happy. Plus you've got a fruit salad when your done. And don't forget the wooden handle utensils, but one must watch for splinters. And you can go to town on a egg beater, and then tease your wigs with them later.

Although the thought of using a remote control as a sex toy can definitely make ones mind run wild, it does way more then you think then just changing the channel!

Have you heard of tool time? Just lodge those rubber handled tools into something and find the g spot!!!

Here's a win win. Candles! Wo doesn't like candles? I'm sure you assumed  that these are being used for penetration — or to stimulate in other ways with hot wax, which is a light BDSM practice. But make sure the candle is out first. That was an accident I would like to forget. But afterwards you'll smell like a yankee candle too.

Whether it's because you haven't gone food shopping in awhile or because your  shower head isn't detachable, don't forget to turn to your vanity set!!!! The hairbrush as a make-shift sex toy can be down right quiver inducing, while you use the mirror to crack your own ass with. Plus you still have a comb to use after to fix your coiffure.

Don't want to spend money on anal beads? No worry, get out the ice cube tray and melt the ice cubes a bit to round them. Oh what a feeling that is!!!!! 

And for the guys, the Electrolux cannister vacuum delivers quite the blow. You may never go back to a person again. My advice-  wait till your flaccid to pull out!!!!

I'm a huge one for dental hygiene. But I'm here to tell you that a toothbrush does the trick when it comes to an on-the-spot toy for pleasuring. Which, if you've felt the vibration of some of those electric toothbrushes, definitely makes a lot of sense in my opinion.

And if your famous and in the pictures or music try your Oscar. It's really the only reason to win one!!!! You just know Faye Dunaway rode that thing hard when she won for Network.

But you'll just have to get the pamphlet to see for yourself all the items. I don't want to give all the real big surprises away. You'll never have a happier home I'll tell you that.

No I'm on to the next pamphlet... The Covid Face...It's All About Less Make Up and a More Dramatic Eye for Mask Wearing During the Pandemic.

GRANDE DAME

While New York and the east coast pioneered drag culture in the US, Manchester is the UK’s epicenter for all the spectacular costumes, gender-warping, makeup transformations, outlandish cabaret, lewd lip-sync performance, and of course, fabulous shade. It's the one city right now that I feel is a hotbed of fabulous drag. Narcissa Nightshade is one of those queens. Before the pandemic, she could be seen preforming at the Cha Cha Boudoir in her weekly show, with all it's raunch and wise cracking.  Narcissa is a self-proclaimed "stone cold bitch who likes hard drinking, big dicks and trouble’, sounds like your Mistress doesn't it....but Narcissa Nightshade brings shady comedy to the stage and to her social platforms. Recent twitter post highlights include: ‘I have lived on chicken salad for weeks and I’m still a fat cunt.' Manchester’s lovable ice queen was a former Kiki queen winner and Narcissa is a formidable lady - eyes so sharp they could cut glass, but she’ll also help you sew a dress.  She should be recognized for her sheer talent, effort and just revolutionary plight for UK Drag. Her other weekly show I would love to see one day is Legs and Bacon, a gay brunch and bottomless fizz. Hosted by the gorgeous, dynamic and down right sexual duo Narcissa Nightshade and Donna Trump. Expect to laugh, cry, dance on your chair and probably make a friend for life. Bottomless fizz throughout. These are my kind of bitches

BEACH SIZED BALLS

Here we go again....I've fought worst monsters.

 I won't be drawing this out, but the Mistress along with my boss, and the whole visual structure of the company all the way up to the creative director,  who originally hired me, along with a number of other positions all across the company have been let go...3700 in total. Just about everyone I know in the company is gone. This is the last time I will work for the company. Especially after finding out after the lay offs,  that the CEO of Macy's Inc. Jeff Gennette gave himself and another 5 top brass millions of dollars in bonuses and stock.  Appalling and disgusting considering business is down,  and no stores are making plan. People just are not shopping for clothing. Not to be outdone, I made sure I got all my vacation time and other personal days, and my severance,  which the store manger was not going to give me the full amount,  since I had been laid off once before, but returned just by one day over the time frame to start everything from scratch,  but my HR manger had it changed since I returned over by one day. Oh.... I got the severance, after kindly mentioning the name of a certain other manger that left under the current store manger, for,  oh shall me say "harassing  behavior."  Monday I was called with my paperwork to come in and sign for my full 15 years of severance!!! I'm not to be trifled with after giving them my hard and creative work all these years.

Yesterday I already got a call to come back in other capacities, which is a slap in my face considering my work skills and talent.... which I gladly declined and I told them I will not be taken for granted, and refuse to work any longer with a company so a CEO can get himself and other top brass  million dollar bonus's. I have also already called my  financial guy to dump for my stock in that company, and hold it,   and then combine the money from my pension plan I also had, to reinvest into other stock that is making money.

But don't worry about me dears....I'm will be fine and will now look forward to my next new chapter whatever that will be.  Daddy Warbucks already wants me to move to Europe. But all I know, it will be a cold day in hell that I shop in any store Macy's Inc owns again.

Don't fuck with me Fellows.

Monday, August 10, 2020

THE GAYS

You may ask why us gays endorse and don't mind wearing a mask for long periods....

MONDAY HAS GONE TO THE BIRDS

Here we are on Monday again.....it's been a hell of a end of week,  and weekend. I have the feeling I'll be going back to bed before long, I'm exhausted. It wasn't from sex either I can tell you. There was some issues with the condo units this weekend that had the fire alarms in the common halls and vestibules going off and on all weekend...talk about maddening. I also got some bad news on a couple fronts...seems the pandemic just keeps getting better. I have work getting ready to start at the pied de terre soon too, so that will be fun. When it rains it pours. By weeks ends, I'm taking another five day get away to the mountains. My good friend will be there by himself, so it should be a nice peaceful time, and will give me some time to commune, before my other good friend shows up. I've not been to the glampground during the week yet, but I hear harldy anyone is there...I so need some pool time to rewind.  But worry not, my next covid pamphlet will be hitting very soon, and just in time. And was it me or did I now hear that  our dictator was looking into how to get himself on Mt Rushmore??!?!?!?!?! What does he think he's done to be on Mt Rushmore with such other past great Presidents? And is it even appropriate to have a etching of a big fat ass on the mountain, when the rest are faces? Oh silly me, I forgot, that is his good side. I think we need some birds today...some stunning birds.... you know I can't resist a bird in any shape or form.


Today it is predicated the temps are going to sky rocket again.... as we enter the hottest weeks of summer...back into the high 90's again. In terms of  coping with this heat, why not embrace the late great bouffant- haired country music diva Tammy Wynette as a role model?

Sunday, August 9, 2020

SUMMER EATING

Bread baking continues. Three loaves. One for my neighbor for the fresh eggs she gives me. This just might be the best loaf of challah bread I ever made, followed by the biggest tea biscuits I've made.
The trip to the farmers market gave me some wonderful fruit. I could eat cherries all day. The strawberries and blueberries will be great for breakfast and the squash and cocktail tomatoes will be diced up and added to a bow tie cold pasta dish, mixed with various fresh herbs and a olive oil dressing with minced garlic and fresh grated cheddar and parmesan cheeses.

I love summer eating...no hot cooking for me. And the watermelon this season had been most excellent.

MEANWHILE.....

Never a dull moment at the Casa.

Saturday, August 8, 2020

FROM THE CANDY SHOP


This week in the Candy Shop, is why yes....another addictive piece of the Latin mens variety, just not so far south. This big lug really gets me with his dark,  sweet doe eyes.  That is one thing to stuck me in right away, yes it is. This eye candy, Alberto Heragui, is in from Mexico City, where he is a health and nutritionist coach, loves staying fit,  and his first love is travel. I first became aware of Alberto on the Aronik Swim website where I get all my square cuts. And, god, does he fill those suckers out!!!! The man has got it going on. He's a real handsome man, and he has an incredible body. I think he probably spends a lot of time working on that bod, although,  I have a long list of other activities I think I could tempt him with if the opportunity should arise! Enjoy his handsomeness, marvel on that manscape, take in that face, those lips, run your hands over those pecs...tweak the basket.... and get sweaty over the display. Alberto invites you to take a swim. He doesn't bite...he just wants to play with us.....

I'm feelin' a little festive today....so how's about a Candy Shop staple, and one of my favorite drag routine songs. Alberto- he's a one stop, gotcha hot, makin' all the panties drop kind of guy......
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