Sunday, April 3, 2016

BEACAUSE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO

 
Because I have nothing better to do, and last night's hang over is gone, and well, it's extremely windy out and I just had my coiffure done, so I'm not going out, so there's that. I figured I'd take the opportunity to do one of those meme things I saw over at Anne Marie's, who took it from Penguin, who apparently took it from Dr.Spo. So let's get this stared, we are after all not getting any younger and I have a bottle of Hendricks calling
 
Leaves the bathroom light on upon exiting. Never, But I have accidently left a candle from time to time burning. One night I'll probably go up like Claudia Blazedale did at the La Mirage on Dynasty.

 Leaves the TV going when not in the room.  never. I usually shut it off right after whatever I am watching.

 Puts keys down next to the ‘key bowl".   My keys always go in my messenger bag when I get in. The only time they go in a bowl is when I'm at one of those parties where you place in the fish bowl, and then are shocked to see who your going home with. This is the very reason I avoid being here when my mailman comes. He apparently thought this was the all night Denny's.
 Answers the phone (rather than screening calls) yet becomes annoyed it is a telemarketer.  Well I guess screen, because I haven't mastered yet how to answer this here switchboard I have at the Casa du Borghese.

 Laundry is done infrequently, en masse,then there are no more clean garments, rather than in continual small loads.Laundry? You have obliviously mistook me for a domestic goddess. Most goes to the dry cleaner, except towels...that's what houseboys are for. But I can usually break out fur and suits if no clean garments are available.
 
 Often eats standing up at the counter in order to watch TV rather than sitting at table with the other.  I always dine at my table for meals, except dessert. I usually take that on the Lad, or Daddy Warbucks, or the houseboys or....
 
Throws out recyclables even though there is a ‘recycle bin’.    Nope, I recycle everything... including my men! We have separate bins for the different materials on the grounds.
 
Directly drinks out of the milk carton.   Never. I was raised proper. My dear mother always says, never drink directly from a container, gin bottles included, sit with your legs crossed, and always keep both feet on the floor.
 
Leaves half-consumed beverages all over the house. Never. Who IN HELL would have THAT MUCH TIME to collect all the gin and tonic old- fashioned's sitting around. And me, leave a half consumed spirit??? Surely you jest
 
Saves even the smallest of leftovers ‘to avoid waste’ only to have them thrown out later when they go horrid.   I am guilty of this sometimes.....even with my men.
 
Won’t watch something on TV without doing two or three other things as well. When viewing tv, I never do anything else
 
Plays Enya.Enya? Never a fan. I'd rather hear a cat in heat. My latest obsession is this adorable chap.....George Ezra..... his voice makes me swoon....
 
  
Uses 2-3x more pots, pans, and kitchen utensils than is necessary when cooking.  Never.
 
Clothes are folded first by sorting them into taxonomies rather than as they come out of the hamper. Clothes are folded or hung as they come out of basket. I'll go check and make sure that's how it's done.
Sleeps with the bedroom door open to the certain doom of us all.  Never. My door is always closed. It's a subliminal thing. When I go to bed, I close the door, like shutting out the world for the night. Besides, if I'm going to be killed or raped in the night, I don't want to see it coming.
 
Doesn’t put spices and herbs back to their original position which is - alphabetical order.  Even though I do have some OCD, I'm not that crazy. I do have two cupboards, one for sweet baking ingredients and one for savory baking needs.
 
Well now that was fun, and oh look...my gin and tonic is good and chilled. Cheers darlings!

43 comments:

  1. Now that was an entertaining read. Except Mistress, you can't rape the willing.....

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    Replies
    1. Your right....and depend who is doing the raping on me...

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  2. Replies
    1. Thank you Debs, And thank goodness I inherited her looks.

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  3. "recycle everything... including my men! We have separate bins for the different materials on the grounds." We are talking about actual recyclables aren't we?

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    Replies
    1. It's all recyclable I say!!!! Including your wardrobe dear.

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  4. What a great meme. I thought your answers were jokingly funny....even though you probably weren't joking. I think. I too love George Ezra.

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    1. Oh me too. I just caught a special on our PBS titled Front and Center where he performed. His voice is so swoon worthy and very original.

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  5. HA, HA, HA....Love the switchboard!!!!

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    Replies
    1. It's just hard to remember what goes in which hole.

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  6. Has anyone told you, you look just like Rosalind Russell in bed? I was laughing out loud reading this. My other half constantly is leaving half drank beverages and his keys around. Drives me nuts.

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    Replies
    1. Why thank you Bryon! You should see me when I drink. I'm told I then resemble Tallulah Bankhead.

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  7. Nothing shocking or disappointing here, because I always knew you had genuine class.....

    BUT
    What's this about you and Anne Marie not liking Enya??? I'm absolutely shattered.

    Hey, long ago I used to have a crush on Chris Isaak, but that has nothing to do with this post.
    ("Wicked Game" really turns me on)

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  8. I'm glad you don't leave drinks sitting every where. Nothing worst then getting drinks rings on the ass's of the houseboys.

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    Replies
    1. the only rings on the houseboyz are cock rings!

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    2. I bet neither of you have seen a game of horseshoes like we play!!!

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  9. We have many similarities Mistress. Since I live alone, I never leave lights on or the tube when not viewing. I also divide my sweet and savories to two different cabinets.....i ADORE George Ezra. His voice is amazing original. Fun post

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  10. I with you on closing the bedroom door at night, and for the same reason. It's nice to be able to "shut" the door on the day and world. I also have to shut the door,otherwise my roommate would see me doing naughty things.

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  11. The bedroom door is an interesting question. I'd be curious to see what people answer that as here. I shut mine for the very reason, if someone get in, I won't know what's coming. Or if there is some spirit. I can only imagine your drawers are highly organized?

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  12. Funny, I thought you took most meals in the 69 position?

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  13. This post cracked me up! with your gin supply, that last things I'd do is have lit candles. The video with George and Sir Ian was entertaining. I like him too.

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    Replies
    1. I worry more about the level of Aqua Net around here.

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  14. What an entertaining read before bed time. William is looking at me like I'm crazy from the laughing. And I love your answer to saving left overs. In some cases that is most certainly the truth. I also thoroughly enjoyed the video.

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  15. Ha,ha,ha,ha. So funny. I myself sleep with the door almost closed. I have a cat that needs to get to her litter box. But who's ever with me, I make sleep closest to the door. Let's not discuss my laundry habits.

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  16. oh be still my heart, that video has 2 handsome MEN in it! great voice on the young one!

    as usual, girl, I need a pee pad whilst reading your witty writing!

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  17. George Ezra is all kinds of swoon-worthy!

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  18. What a post. My partner is the worst, hands down with leaving half drank beverage's around. You could fill a whole new half gallon of something I feel. I loved your answers.

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  19. LOL! I love this post being a new reader very funny and I'm right there with you on many of these answers. I only just imagine your a hand full!

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    Replies
    1. My dear Max: Mistress is not only a hand full, she is also a mouth full! ;-)

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    2. You've held his cock too???

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  20. I am guilty of eating in front of the TV. I admit to sleeping with the bedroom door open - have since I left home. Maybe it was a subliminal offer of open invitation to anyone who wanted to drop in for some fun....
    The rest? My, we are quite the compatible folks! Happy Monday, mistress. Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. open invitation to anyone who wanted to drop in for some fun.... * makes mental note*

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  21. Recycles everything, including men... I love it!

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  22. I just hate when a guy goes horrid.

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  23. Mistress, what a lovely well-appointed boudoir you have. I used to love me a good night of the keys in the fish bowl. A good way to not put any thought into a hook up. Is this how you find most of your men? Your "He apparently thought this was the all night Denny's." What did he order, the Grand Slam?

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  24. Fun post! Just how many men have you recycled? I'm under the impression you enjoy a lot of sex?

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Go ahead darling, tell me something fabulous!

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