Thursday, May 5, 2016

LESSONS I'VE LEARNED FROM LIFE

At dinner the other night, and after a couple drinks, the clan and I started a conversation about what lessons we have gotten out of life, right after of course a lot of sex talk.Well, like the line from the movie, Auntie Mame, I firmly believe in the line and my life's motto- "Live! Live! Life's a banquet, and some poor sucker are  starving to death." Later that night I compiled a list thus far of lessons I've learned from life and this is what a came to.
 
A day of something wonderful is better than a lifetime of nothing special.

Burn the candles, have champagne, use the nice fancy sheets, wear those hot revealing briefs. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special. For you never know when life may end.
 
Don't wait to old age to be eccentric...be eccentric now.
 
If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it. What would be the point.
 
Personal tragedy should not interfere with the ability to do good hair. Or wash your face. Or getting all dressed up before leaving the house. Understanding half the battle to regain your footing is looking the part.
 
Perfection is a myth. And also boring.
 
There is no such thing as too much
This applies to hair, jewelry, cock, laughter, heel height, pulled pork, gin, emotion, faith, sex, persistence and revelation. Contrary to the old adage, less is actually less. and more is divine!!!!
 
When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile
 
Busy is better than therapy. Know when a calamity comes knocking, don't sit on your fanny and do nothing. Productivity beats wallowing every time.
 
Get outside every day. Tour your area. Miracles are waiting everywhere. No need to go far for a vacation. I am amazed with things I see in my own backyard and just the local area. I am always seeing or finding something new I never saw before.
 
Life is a joking matter. A lesson I adored Rodney Dangerfield for.
 The more serious the situation, the more critical it is that we laugh. Humor is as lifesaving as any flotation device in the rough sea of life. So next time you hold in a whiff of wind, let if fly, you may just make someone's day with laughter.
 
Give in to temptation. Like Mae West, I usually avoid temptation, unless I can't resist it. Which is probably why I became sexual at 12 or 13. Otherwise Id been saying....
I probably never would have made a good Agnes Gooch
 
Stand your ground. I slid out of the womb with confetti, and glitter in my veins. Everybody is normal. I have always been gay from day one. To me gay is the normal and I never felt different. So everyone is normal, so stand your ground. 

35 comments:

  1. xoxoxoxo, loves the list, loves the Maddie :-)

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  2. "When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile" - FUCK YEAH! gin is the same as chocolate.

    GREAT way to start the day, luv!

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  3. Yes to all of these, especially the chocolate part.

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  4. Great philosophy to live by! That's why you are our mistress. So many hugs for a Thursday, I fear smothering you in them!

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  5. These are great lessons with some quite brilliant accompanying pictures - I love the one of the lady swamped in beads and bangles!

    ::helps self to more chocolate::

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    1. Ah, the divine Iris Apfel! That is probably precisely how Mistress Maddie will look in her 90s - unless I beat her to it! Jx

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    2. Will look? But your right. We will have to have happy hour together.

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  6. What very good lessons indeed. Love the post and totally agree about the chocolate.a argument I've yet to win. And the eccentric part, I'm told I have down to a tee.

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  7. Your right, I had the feeling your puberty was anything but bleak. These are certainly some lessons to embrace.

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  8. Definitely a modern day Mame Dennis!

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    1. Thank you....now run along to Ito, and tell him to send me some black coffee and a side car. Oh, oh, and a cold washcloth for you Auntie Vera.

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  9. I should do this myself. Your list is quite enjoyable and if followed would most certainly make life more fun and make us stop and smell the roses. I enjoyed this post.

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  10. A wonderful attitude and extremely good advice. I can't find a fault with anything you've said.

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  11. You can't go far wrong if you take your lessons from Auntie Mame Dennis, Jane Russell, Iris Apfel and Mae West, in my opinion. Cheers sweetie, here's to glitter, chocolate, cock and gin! Jx

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    1. I have no complaints and enjoy life. And " I never broke any laws, but I may have cracked a few"

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  12. Great advice, Mistress, and I've been reading your blog for long enough to know that you don't just talk the talk, you walk the walk!

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    1. Thank you debs, I always love when you stop by!

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  13. What an inspiring post and words to live by. And your always funny side to things. Couldn't agree more about the dressing up and doing one hair when a tragedy hits. We may be glum, but why look like it.

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  14. Wonderful post! Theses most certainly explain your zeal for life my friend. I'm also guessing your puberty was anything but bleak.

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  15. Great ideas all. I was referring a friend to a site selling chocolate dipped berries for her to give her mother on Mother's Day and I wound up ordering a mixed six pack of them for myself because I realized no one was going to give me any fucking Mother's Day presents. They're delicious.

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    1. You mean to say no Mormons are coming? I guess chocolate dipped berries will have to do.

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  16. You mean to,say you started having bookie at 12 or 13? You had me beat. Great post.....now where is the chocolate?

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  17. Just so you know, you always inspire me.

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  18. Thank you everyone for stopping in and your kinds comments!

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  19. I just watched Auntie Mame for the umpteenth time on my flight home (the movie is a permanent resident on my iPad for those quick pick me ups) and for some reason the "How Bleak Was My Puberty" had me in stitches this time....now I know why. Life foreshadows itself at times. And honey neither one of us would have ever been Agnes Gooch.

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  20. Just for mentioning Rodney Dangerfield I love you all the more. That guy was a trip!!!!

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  21. What a great post! I can really get behind the more is divine. And I too could never say no to chocolate.

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  22. I would swear, your always caressing a bird of some sort. I like when you do post like this...great lessons to live by. There could certainly be worst roles models then Auntie Mame.

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  23. "This applies to hair, jewelry, cock, laughter, heel height, pulled pork, gin, emotion, faith, sex, persistence and revelation" I couldn't agree more! great inspiring post.

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Go ahead darling, tell me something fabulous!

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