Thursday, December 17, 2015

I KNEW THAT ELF WAS TROUBLE

I'm sure you have heard of Elf of the Shelf right? You know, the creepy little Christmas bastard, that thinks he's cute and sits smugly on a shelf? Well, I have never liked him, and quite frankly, I never trusted him a day in my life. I just knew there was something about him, so I sent the houseboys on the case for proof he's a dirty little twisted elf, and I was right!!!!!
 
Substance abuse.......
 
home wrecker.... slept with Ken right in front of Barbie.He's bi-sexual......
 
Ok, gay. Who the hell is that pickle kisser kidding....
 
twisted, evil sense of humor....
 
and apparently took out one or two......
 
So if you own one of these "cute" elf shitters, err shelf sitters, don't say the Mistress didn't warn you. Look at that face! I don't trust it's smug look one bit.

30 comments:

  1. He obviously has been hanging at the Casa yo much.

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  2. thankfully never had one. if we did the boys would have probably launched him into space on a rocket like they did Barbie...

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  3. I once was at a glory hole and smelled peppermint. Nsh......couldn't have been......

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  4. Holy crap - - he makes the wayward Munchkins look like choir boys.....

    I'll have to admit, however, that he's rather impressive with candy canes.

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  5. Well can you blame him for banging Ken....he is quite chiseled.

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    Replies
    1. I require more than a mound of plastic where another thing should be myself.

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  6. Are you sure you and the house boys didn't teach him these habits???

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    Replies
    1. this has the mistress 's and houseboys corruption all over it

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  7. I never trust anyone who has rosy cheeks like that. Or the cheeks on his face.

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  8. people that buy this for their little bastards are suckers (and not the good kind).

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  9. I've never owned one but obviously he can't be trusted! Creepy doll! Lol.

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  10. Replies
    1. Not me...I would never pass out in public view.

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  11. Bad! Bad to the bone! Or at least to the candy cane.

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  12. Oil never be able to look at him the same again.

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  13. anything that fits around innocently on a shelf, you know will be trouble.

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  14. Can't judge here. I enjoy peppermint sticks myself.

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  15. There was one of those little f*ckers around the house when I was just a wee little lad. I swear he sodomized me when I was asleep at night. He knew I was defenseless, vulnerable and easily influenced. So much so that when I moved out I took him with me and still have the little f*cker. He's an old elf now and I take care of him 'cause he got me started on this path. I owe him.

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    Replies
    1. I'm with you. I used to go to bed with pj on and would wake up naked. last till our dachshund got hold of him.

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  16. Wow, that elf in Bad Santa is a saint compared to this devious little one!

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  17. By looks of the last picture, he is quite pleased with his bad behaviors, well except the cock sucking.

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  18. HA! The toilet one is funny! We had one when I was younger. In the night I could feel someone playing my with junk. Never did know if it was the elf, or my neighbor boy friend.

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  19. Ah, the spirit of Christmas! Just don't let it cross the Atlantic - We don't need the competition!

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  20. I'm pretty sure it was him watching from that shelf when I was running one off when I was young......

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  21. my boyfriend and I each have one. by the end of the party, the two elves are always 69ing.

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Go ahead darling, tell me something fabulous!

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