Monday, January 31, 2011

From Rod Wax Into Vaseline!

If there is one thing the Mistress can't stand about the winter months it's the cold temperatures and the dry skin you get from it. Is it about winter sweaters, or hot chocolate, or snuggling or less light at night? No! I associate dry skin with the winter winds. The Mistress maintains her skins suppleness with Vaseline for my extremities. And after this weekend of all that walking and cold, I tend to get callused skin on my heels. Many people in the organic beauty industry look down on Vaseline as a miracle remedy, but the studies done on Vaseline are inconclusive as to its health detriments. That’s why I use Vaseline to keep my rough spots smooth. But what is Vaseline?

Vaseline, also know as petroleum jelly, has been in use since the 1860’s. A chemist from New York, who upon visiting an oil rig, noticed the raw material of petrolatum, a gooey substance known as “rod wax”, as I try to say that with a straight face, stuck to the drilling rigs. After much experimentation, he developed a process to distill the rod wax into petrolatum. In its pure form, petrolatum is considered safe, but its varied and unregulated manufacturing procedures make the goopy jelly vulnerable to contamination by foreign elements, which may or may not pose cancer risks or other health issues. There is generally no way to know how the petrolatum was manufactured. Hence the big question, “Should I use it or not?” In moderation I am sure it is fine.

Vaseline is not just for personal grooming, it can do a host of things. Some, which will amaze you. Here is a list of some of Vaseline’s many uses:

1- From being on her feet on day I really use the vaseline on my feet for the heels and whole under foot. Then put a sock on overnight. Voila, soft feet the next day. No one night trick wants to feel sandpaper scrapers under the sheets!

Remove watermarks on wood.Your most recent trick left lots of watermark rings on your wood furniture. To make them disappear, apply petroleum jelly and let it sit overnight. In the morning, wipe the watermark away with the jelly.

3-Eject wax from candlesticks.The long tapers you used at last night’s party were a beautiful sight until you saw the candle wax drippings left in the candle holders. Next time apply petroleum jelly to the insides of the holders before you put the candles in. The wax will pop out for easy cleaning.

4- Keep a bottle lid from sticking.

5-When doing drag once the Mistress ran out of her favorite shade of eye shadow. What to do now? It’s easy — make your own. Add a bit of food coloring to petroleum jelly and apply as usual. This is a quick way to make stopgap blush, lipstick, or eye shadow.

6-Moisturize your lips and more.If you don’t want to pay a lot for expensive lip balm, makeup remover, or even facial moisturizer, it will work for all these things.

7-Use as a lube. Lets not beat around the bush people,of course the creative gays from the 1960's and 1970′s have been using Vaseline as a lubricant. That is why all these 70 year old queens have the face of a shriveled prune, but the man goods of a twenty one year old!!! I would not recommend using vaseline with condoms, but as a jelly to play with yourself should be perfectly fine and fun! A Rod Wax!!!

8-Vaseline can also get chewing gum off things left from those little bastards from next door sticking it under your lovely boudoir chair, it can also remove lipstick stains and heal windburn.

So you see Vaseline really is a very inexpensive way to solve many daily problems with not spending a ton of money for different products. Can any other product remove a broken light bulb, heal dry skin, soften lips and act as a lube??? It is pretty hard to find one, although I'm not ready to give up the Gun Oil just yet!


  1. I so enjoy catching up on the latest adventures of the Mistress! ...and to know that she is practical and wise further compliments her glam and radiance. As I'm reading this, I can just envision you starring in the commercial... "Oh, you MUST!!!"

  2. There is a product available at your pharmacy call "Aquapor" that is like vaseline on steroids! It's much purer and thicker than petroleum jelly, and it really goes to work on those crusty heels and dry elbows!! Not sure I'd put it on your "rod", however... it's not particularly lubricious and you might start a fire from the friction!

  3. I just posted this to another blog.
    He was having problems with furballs with his cat. Place Vaseline on cat paws. It lubricates things instead of throwing up furballs, the furballs are passed thru their feces!
    It is a lot less expensive for OTC remedies for furballs and basicaly sp? it is the same thing!

  4. Whatever happened to Crisco? I don't suppose it's recommended for use with condoms either.

  5. I think I'll take the rod wax;)

  6. All those people who say petroleum jelly is bad, it isn’t! Petroleum jelly is proven by scientists to be fantastic for your skin and lips. IT IS NOT BAD!
    I use petroleum jelly to make lip gloss. just mix petroleum jelly with some sort of flavour, mix and put into a pot. finito! Funny post Mistress and helpful too.

  7. Some really great suggestion on how to use of vaseline! Now do you do demo's?

  8. Girl, when I saw this post title I thought dare I and WHAT is she writing now! LOL!I keep it by the tub, and use it on my wet body before I dry off. It leaves you totally smooth and very nice and moisturized without being greasy (after a very few minutes anyway).

  9. I love Vaseline, use it on my lips, face and arms before bed. Up north here you need it! I became very concerned when Dr. Oz said that it was not safe. The doctor he had on his show also said that many women with breast cancer had high petroleum jelly particles in their system. Also that it can cause cancer.

    Has anyone heard that Vaseline is unsafe?

  10. LOL! i LOVE HOW YOUR MIND WORKS! LOL!!! I love vaseline. A jar and a hot man!!! The lube tip cracked me up and how true it is!

  11. Some really great suggestion on how to use of vaseline!

  12. I agree with 7! Great for masterbaiting lube if needed ;) I like other things to,except gun oil, that's just too slick. Great post!

  13. I also love Vaseline! I use it for everything too! I noticed one of the uses listed is ‘massage.’ Just be careful if your massage is going to lead to anything else…petroleum jellies (like Vaseline) break down latex condoms! I found out the hard way, no pun intended!!!! Your so funny with this shit.

  14. AWESOME POST. So useful! I love cheap product “many use” cheat sheets. How many products can who ues for your junk and getting stains out?

  15. I Love Vaseline. I believe it cures everything and that make-up trick I have used myself! The color gets very vibrant.

  16. As much as I do the dirty, like sometimes three times a day I NEED the vaseline, but I use boy butter!

  17. I like the list of uses Mistress! And how true about the older men. I hooked up with a older gent once. Old looking face but what a beautiful young looking cock.


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