Meet Jewel Cooperton.
She is the neighborhood person who walks around with a major attitude, drives a muscle car, and loudly I may add, and has the personality of a door knob. Dear Jewel lives in the next little bijoux apartment next to mine. Now mind you, they take good care of the grounds here, even in winter. Jewel also smokes like a chimney. I'm sure her breathe has set off many a smoke alarm in local dinning establishments. But lately she has been taking to leaving the cigarette butts in the gardens and tan bark. Just the other day, I was outside pottering about and picked up with gloved hands, 20 -30 butts in the tan barked garden!!!!! Now you know I love me a well tended garden and the environment, and I'd hate to see any wildlife eat them. I have nothing against others habits, hell, I enjoy a good cigar two or three times a year, and others smoke here and always take a container of water or ashtray out with them. Not this bitch. Who does this lazy cow thinks she is spreading her dirty butts around?!?!? I have since sent off a eloquent email to the property management to address this issue. And if it's not....next time out, I'll light her god damn cigarette for her.....with my can of Aqua Net.
I may be sweet, prim and proper...but I'd HATE TO GO all Beverly Sutphin on her ASS! She won't like me when I'm mad.