Thursday, March 7, 2013

Figaro Figaro Fiiiigarooo

 
Is anyone else glad the week is almost over!?!  Where did the winter go? I usually hibernate most of winter and now, the plans just continue. A friend of mine is whoring sending me out to be squired Saturday. He said he thinks his friend and I  would be good company, but I think he is trying to play match maker, but I digress. So yours truly is going to his first opera on what you would call a blind date....oh dear...I'm bound to make a spectacle one way or another.... So were off to see the opera of Francesca di Rimini at the Met, where he is a patron.
 
 
So this got me to thinking I need the perfect opera gloves... and must remember myself with the way of opera glove etiquette and proper manners for wearing opera gloves.
 
 
**Traditionally, opera gloves should not be put on in public, but should be donned in the privacy of one's home before going out, or of course, conducting  a white glove test.

**Your gloves should be kept on when shaking hands. Or grabbing a arse.
 
**Gloves may also be worn while guzzling sipping gin champagne, though care must be exercised not to spill liquids on them, especially when the gloves are made of kidskin or some other delicate leather. It is better to remove, or partially remove them, when practicable.
 
**When you sit down to dinner, you should take off your gloves, and put them back on when dinner is over.
 
**If you remove your opera gloves, you should not take them off in a way that calls undue or seductive attention to the process (unless, of course, you are attempting to seduce the viewer!, not that I WOULD EVER!)
**You can partially remove your opera gloves in this fashion: unbutton the mousquetaire wrist opening and pull your hand out through the opening. The empty glove hand can then be rolled up neatly to wrist level, either tucked under the wrist or under your bracelet, if you are wearing bracelets.
 
**Six-button  gloves, also known as three-quarter length or coat-length gloves, may properly be worn with just about any length of sleeve. With longer sleeves, the arm pieces are generally tucked under the sleeves.
 
**White and its various shades, including ivory, beige and taupe, are the traditional colors for opera gloves and are appropriate for virtually any occasion on which opera gloves are worn. Well I guess my red ones are out..

 
As you might imagine, it's just not proper for a mistress just to walk up to a gentleman and tell him that she'd like to get to know him better, like I usually do! "Flirtation codes" were developed using a wide variety of objects. The "fan code" is the best-known, but gloves are also used as flirtation signals. Here are some of the better-known glove signals:

 
**Twirling one's gloves around her fingers - We are being watched
 
**Holding the tips of the gloves downward - I wish to be acquainted

**Gently smoothing the gloves - I wish I were with you; I would like to talk with you, or a give a good hand job.
 
**Holding one's gloves loosely in her right hand - Be contented
 
**Holding one's gloves loosely in her left hand - I am satisfied
 
**Striking one's gloves over her hands - I am displeased . Like that would ever happen.

**Tossing one's gloves up gently - I am engaged.
 
**Dropping one of her gloves - Yes. I'll be using that one alot.
 

 
Should be an interesting early afternoon. Now I just have to decide swank swept retro downfall, or chic up swept bouffant? And if I do find him very attractive, God help us. Someone is bound to find one of my opera gloves on the doorknob of one of the viewing box doors!!!! So the culture weekends just keep contining around here. I just hope I don't get nervous and spray my cock-a-tail all over some regal opera matriarch!!!!
 

24 comments:

  1. I agree with Debs. But what does it mean when You remove a long opera glove and run it between you legs in a music act? I've done that for a few drag acts

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  2. Oh how lovely, next time a wear gloves, you'll have me all paranoid. And another stud in the mix? I'll get herpes listening to these dates!

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  3. "though care must be exercised not to spill liquids on them" Won't that be a given? Anyhow sounds like it will be a blast, dont be nervous, use you charms!

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    1. yeah, the gloves are as good as ruined with spills, wouldn't you say?

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  4. HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME! This was my whole background Mistress! What a good choice for a first opera to see also. This post is all fact with a Mistress twist! Behave though........

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  5. Great post, thank God your here!! It up to you and the Dita Von Teese to bring the opera glove back you know?

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    1. I'm sure the Dita Von Teese will be happy to know were in the same company.

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  6. I was just the other day saying what ever happened to dames wearing opera gloves! Very nice post dear, have a great time. I love the Met on Saturdays. Course, William and I are opera freaks.

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  7. Mistress, have a good time, take your opera guide, but please wear the red ones! They'll hide more, hum, spills.

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  8. Creative post today! Have a great date! How exciting. I hear opera is either something you'll love or hate. I went once, can't say I enjoyed the singing, but loved the music.

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  9. Fun post, you always have the best pictures! I would love to go to an opera sometime. Just remember to not wear a huge gown, you'll never fit the balcony!

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  10. "I go to Opera and stay wide awake
    That's why the lady is a tramp".....

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  11. Have a faboosh time, and thanks for the ed-mah-cational glove tips, but, um, is it just me, or do opera gloves look an awful lot like stripper gloves?

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    1. You seem to know alot about stripper gloves dear.

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  12. I had no idea there was such a big deal over opera gloves. I hope you have fun!

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    1. You should see the rules for opera glasses!

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  13. don't forget to do that Julia Roberts thing... You know? The one where you give a little startled jump backwards then laugh nervously when he opens the package and shows you his jewels then slams his box shut almost catching your opera gloved finger in it?...

    Have a great time Maddie

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    1. prinny, I can't even count the times my fingers got slammed trying to get my fingers in a guy jewel box!

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  14. Gently smoothing the gloves - I wish I were with you; I would like to talk with you, or a give a good hand job....so I guess this will be the move all throught the opera? Have a swell time honey.

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  15. Have a great time at the Met! And if he is handsome and rich.....MARRY HIM!

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  16. Yet another reason I need to hang with you for a peroid of time! I could learn so much. I hope you have a fun time and he is nice.

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  17. Oh I hate blind dates, but admit this sounds like a great way to break the ice! I hope you had a great time, and got use of the gloves!

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Go ahead darling, tell me something fabulous!

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