Saturday, August 22, 2009

Filling in the Gin-Soaked Blanks...or Being Verklempt

Recognizing that there were parts she did not remember, The Mistress asked that I fill in the gaps. So without further ado, and so we can close this chapter:

1) The Plane. This was the first time that we have been on a plane together, and so we would like to thank the bar staff at both airports for their heavy-handed, pre-flight assistance. Yours truly held up remarkably well until flying over the Rockies…and then again, in over the bay. The pilot spoke in a friendly manner, the flight attendants seemed suitably smartassed, and perhaps our greatest fear never materialized.

2) The “Queer Social”. We did take in quite a bit of the conference (in the form of “people watching”), but perhaps no more so than at the “Queer Social”. The Mistress struck up an immediate conversation with a fellow meeting-goer, who ran into us after our wine country tour, and proceeded to tell us about the gathering taking place in a nearby hotel bar for conference attendees. Now, we attended – after all, parts of the conference were rather stuffy… and we were repping for arguably the number one party school in the country...

…and again, it took place at a bar…but from where we’re from, queer is a pejorative term. So it was just a fun example of “taking the word back”, as the activist from Costa Rica told us. (I did wonder how one became a queer activist in Costa Rica, but thought it impolite to ask. Perhaps a ad?) In any event, very cool event, glad they were there and that they do what they do…a whole other side of life from where we live, but glad it’s all part of the gay cornucopia.

3) The Gyms and Supplement Stores. I lost count after five, within the first two blocks of The Castro. It seemed as though every single guy there had muscles. I have never felt smaller in my life. Pecs and biceps must be given out right off the plane (I may have missed them, looking for The Mistress’s gin). Castro boys? Woof. I am a big fan.

4) Yerba Buena and Buena Vista Parks. The former, lovely fountains, a great restaurant. The latter, fantastic views of the Golden Gate and Haight-Ashbury, great hiking trails, lots of people with dogs, and the self-centered high of oh-my-god-is that guy cruising us? In short, both have their strong points. The second had the additional bonus of Kailyn saying “You’re WHERE?!?” when called.

5) The “Verklempt” Factor

I’d rather this not get too sappy or melodramatic. But there were a series of moments where this country boy thought he was going to lose it, just because of the sheer size and beauty of all that we were trying to comprehend. It hit me once in wine country, because as we sat there, I couldn’t believe there was (so gonna ape a movie here) “so much beauty in the world” and I was awed by the fact that we were actually there, able to enjoy it, seeing something that you really only hear or read about. There truly is a huge world out there.

Of course, this happened again at Berkeley. The Mistress, looking for a way to say that she was proud of her boy/man, surprised me with a couple little mementos of Oski, the University of California’s mascot. I love college football, and just being in Pac-10 country was amazing enough (seriously, The Rose Bowl is a home game for all those schools, no wonder the Big 10 keeps getting our ass kicked)…but just the thought that my guy went out of his comfort zone to display his pride….well, that was cool.

And finally – perhaps most importantly – the history did me in. Have you read “And the Band Played On?” This gay boy did when he was seventeen, and his parents flipped out when they saw it on the dining room table. AIDS, politics, bathhouses, Harvey Milk, the White Night Riots, friends, the search for love and/or sex, City Hall, Proposition 8, Folsom Street, marriage, and so on…it’s all there, and it’s amazing to try and comprehend that as a community, we are this large and diverse – and have come so far in such a short time. Perhaps that – along with all the gin-soaked memories – is the best thing that San Francisco shared with us.

Boy Toy


  1. Honey, I remember the White Night riots so well. As I sat across the Bay, I remember turning to my mom and asking, "Seven years?" I completely understood the rage in the streets. And was saddened that it the rage happened. Because seven years? It still pisses me off.

    And so I grew up in a world in which touring wineries when guests are in town is a norm. A world in which one's parent's openly gay coworkers are regular dinner guests. In fact, after some time they become almost family.

    And when I curse my parents for all their other short fallings, I thank them for letting me see a world filled with diversity. And for teaching me that that this diversity is not wrong in any way.

    Because without this early foundation, I'm not sure if y'all would be my friends. And at this point in my life I can't imagine a world without y'all.

  2. Wow Boy Toy - I got a little vaklempt myself from reading your post. I have to admitt the first time i was in the Castro it hit me pretty much the same way.

  3. Boy Toy...I've never read the book, but I did see the movie..and I cry every. single. time. I made my kids watch it...just like I did Schindler's List and Amastad. good flick.

    now the photos! GREAT! and who is that beautiful tall creature standing next to Maddie?? ;)

    I'm so glad your trip was this wonderful...and that there are bars for pre-flight drinks!


  4. I know the men of Berkely all to well;) Great post! I think it is funny the diva that she is has to have you do post because of a "gin soaked "haze! I don't know how you guys do it.

  5. Misstress Maddie #1 Fan8/24/2009

    Thank God you were there to help the Mistress so no one could take advantage of her in a gin haze! I so need to make a trip out there now.

  6. Kailyn- Girl, thats so sweet to say, now I have to get my hanky....

  7. You were kinda losin' me until you got to the Castro! Then it got all sappy and I went "awwwwwe!"

    Ya'll are such a cute couple!


  8. Boy-Toy you are a great accessory for the Mistress, you know, in case the gin affects her memory. A nice post. It's always nice to hear from you from time to time!

  9. Great post! It was so good to get your perspective of the trip, too. We keep telling you this, but you really do need to write a blog yourself! I enjoy everything you write.

    You two have to stay together or else! There are some couples I feel that way about and you're one of them. (Dan & Luis, Mark & Joe, Bob & Carlos, Jeff & Brad, Beth & Ken, and Miss A and Mr. Mischief are the others). There might be a few more, but that's all my mind will remember right now.


Go ahead darling, tell me something fabulous!

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