MOORECOCK COOKS!

If anyone knows there way around a bird, it's my social director, Ms Moorecock.  She took a crack at the bird and looks like she did a rather fine job. She will be cooking dinner for her and her half sisters, Asuki Moorecock and Anna Moorecock this holiday. But who is she kidding with that June Clever get up??? Granted she always has a pearl necklace on, but she still looks stiff and plastic to me.  Did she use the giblets? And will she yank to hard on the wishbone and get the lucky part? 

 It is something to ponder on.

MY SOCIAL DIRECTOR.....ANITA MOORECOCK

  One thing I get asked a lot by friends, and have actually gotten two emails from you is how did I come to meet my social director Anita Moorecock. As one can see, she does have excellent fashion sense, she does work for me for Pete's sake, but I swear she still has that plastic look down.

Well, to tell you the truth, I met her right after my split from the ex. A few of the neighbor ladies from the guild took me to bingo night. With my racy and eyebrow raising lifestyle, I was hesitant to go, but of course just took my gin and bromide to calm my stomach with the sure to be seen tacky outfits I would see. Anywho....at the church the bingo was held at , Anita Moorecock was the church secretary. Well, it turns out I won her in the bingo game!!!! And it was an answer to my prayers. Unbeknownst to me though, the church was trying to unload the poor lass because, well, she enjoyed the men too much. Let's just say she was the original meter maid, men would meet her and have it made!!! So we had a lot in common, I mean between me and her and our sex lives, they could film a Wild Kingdom video.  But I have to be honest, she is a pretty face, but not the brightest bulb on Broadway. I mean, is she dumb! When I first hired her, she was late the first day because she got lost. I said "Where are you?" She said she was in the neighborhood at the corner of walk and don't walk.

One day she handed me a doctors appointment for September 34th. I said Ms.Moorecock, there are only 30 days in the month. It seems she wrote in the rest of the numbers on the blank boxes for each month, she thought they forget to print them!

She thought a flasher opened the coat to show the lining. One day I sent her down to Gertz's Department Store to pick up my packages. She was stranded on a escalator for 6 hours when the power went out! One afternoon at her desk, she was looking at the obits in the paper. She said, 'Isn't it amazing how people die in alphabetical order?

Ms.Moorecock is the only person I know who lost a $50 bet on an instant replay.  She read that 75% of accidents happen close to home. Now she wants to move.

I said oh, look at the poor dead bird. She looked up.

I'll never forget one day she squealed with excitement, because she won a trip around the world. But she turned it down. I asked why? She said, How will I get back? So she took second prize, a pet zebra. She named it Spot.

Oh God. And does she hate flying. I decided to take her on one trip and tricked her into flying. One the way there, the plane blew a engine. The captain said we'd be an hour late getting to our destination. Later a second engine blew. Again the captain said we'd now be three hours late. Then a third blew. The captain assured us it was a fine craft, not to worry, but we'd be even later. Ms.Moorecock says "Jesus Christ, one more engine blows and we'll be up here all night!"

She still can't figure out how the mall map knows "You are Here"

One of my neighbors  is a real bitch. And she happens to be deaf. I know she signs to me bad things. But I had to tell Ms.Moorecock to stop making crank phone calls to her. She wasted $40 at a pay phone.

And she can be cheap. Last year when I left for the Thanksgiving holiday she made this dinner for my stable of houseboys....

How can a stable of growing , muscular boys live on that? It was even worst this year. She bought 6 large meatballs, packed them together and stuck a feather in it!

On December 1 she starts speaking with a Jewish accent.

Being my social director she is also in charge of sending out my Christmas cards. I was very horrified, two years ago, when she mailed out ONE card and called it a chain letter!!!

Last year for Christmas she bought me a bottle of Evening in Newark. It was $2.98 a quart.

One morning I came down for breakfast and she was just sitting there sharing. No replies. I was "what are you doing?" "Not now", she said "The orange juice carton says concentrate." Eye roll.

But the kicker came another morning when she offered to take me and the houseboys for breakfast. For coffee and donuts. I hated it. But the houseboys loved it, they never gave blood before.

I can only wonder what she thinks when she looks in the mirror, which she does a lot.

Thank God she is pretty and fashionable.

People wonder why I then drink so much gin.

WHERE ART MS.MOORECOCK?

Well after seeing the Mahogany Empress at Outfest who asked "Where is Anita Moorecock? I noticed she hasn't been seen?", and a email from a concerned follower. Well you'll be happy to know she is fine and probably sitting down right now somewhere. I accidently left her at a store somewhere on our last vacation in August, I can't remember where, I forgot to look at the sign of the shop, but I think they might have sold cheese. Anyway I just assumed she was back in the south wing doing her job for once. I'm sure she will surface after the last vacation. I probably should get her mirco chipped like the houseboys. She did send these in.....

 This is her, no doubt trying to lure in a trick, opps, I meant catch the eye of a dashing gentleman. *makes mental note to maybe pay her more of a wage*

Here she was seen entertaining some of those damn neighborhood bitches. She knows how I feel about them. You know the type. Gossipy, judging you constantly, busy bodies, and do the white glove test when your not looking. This reminds me, Bambi, the one in the crème, I hear her husband as been getting more than the mail delivered from the postmen!

And we at least know she has switched into fall attire.

The houseboys tell me she is being "trendy" and has colored her hair white as seen in the opening, where she was spotted sitting somewhere. You ask me, she still looks plastic and stiff. Whatever the case, she best start social directing...I can't remember all these dates and social functions, and what night I'm seeing who. Nothing more embarrassing then calling out the wrong name on a night of ecstasy.

MEANWHILE, ACROSS TOWN

So I finally gave in and gave my Social Director, Anita Moorecock time off for vacation. I hear she stayed local and is doing some charity work across town. Watch how much lipstick you use gurl! I just hope she doesn't drink on the job...........

SPEAKING OF MOORECOCK

I will say one of the best things about my life is having a Social Director to keep all my meetings, clandestines, and events and such in order. Not to mention  all the other duties around the Casa du Borghese , even if she isn't doing squat 90% of the time, except fraternizing with the houseboys, stealing my wardrobe, and drinking up all my choice libations.Why she even gets more vacations than I?!?!?!? Why, the Casa without Ms.Morrecock is like... like, a aristocrat with no servants, which is as much use to the county as a glass hammer. She has been all over lately too, lets catch up with her......

Never believe a word she tells you. She is paid handsomely and I have even had her room redecorated in the South wing just for her. Just look at this room will you??

Here she was on a trip last year in China. My official Astrologer, Ming Crystal was none to happy that Ms.Moorecock took her wardrobe from her on the trip, and then returned the items with cigarette burn holes, and soy sauce stains...at least we think it was soy sauce.

Just recently, she was in West Palm for a supposed " trying to find myself" vacation. More like trying to snag, or should I say shag, a rich old man. Just look at her....She has the kind of eyes that go over a man like a search light.

At least she has the good taste to use her paychecks on a good milliner.

The other night, Anita gave as a fashion show of her ensemble for her Easter outfit. Then she expected the houseboys to place all their eggs in one basket. Just watching it, Chi Chi LaRue would have had a blockbuster on her hands.

Here, Ms.Moorecock was the hit of my now famous Oscar party. But just what my golden houseboy was doing is beyond me. Looks like he was caught coming out from under the dress, you ask me.

I also funded her trip to Paris recently. She says she wanted to sample authenic French bagettes. She never did say if she tried them, but I couldn't help but notice, she was walking with a limp for a week.

I will say though, she never ages, and almost appears plastic.....must be those glazes she goes for every other night. In other news, Anita and I are over joyed Goggle changed the stance with their guidelines. We thought we were going to have pack up with the houseboys and head for greener pastures. Not that we had worry, but felt sorry for the censorship and lack of Freedom of speech, for many others I don't know we could support a corporation who keeps such strong holds on all our ways of expression. Now Anita Dear, could you fetch me another G&T!!!!!  

Three, Four, Slam it Whore

Don't you all just adore my ensemble to arrive back at the Casa du Borghese???

Miss Moorecock here! Call this my welcome to summer outfit, but the shipwreck of a head piece was a bit hard to get into doorways while away, I'll admit.  Speaking of Whora Flynn Boyle, he's has arrived back to the Casa, to dry out, and, God forbid, had to return to work for a going away party for his boss. When told he would have to return to work,  I never saw the Mistress vertical run so fast....like he was running away from screaming kids and Michelle Bachman for some gin. While we haven't forgot about you, I was told to drop a line to all the lovelies! The Mistress , whom I caught up with in Rehoboth ( this really is a full time job), is expensively brown, and tore up the dance floor at Cloud Nine several nights, and by his standards- behaved. There were at least 10 guys in the beach region he didn't meet the...cough, cough... hand of. And his tee shirt which read " Yes , Were Open" in the front,  and " Sorry Were Closed" in the back was a huge hit. I will say it had people talking. He also is trying to get acclimated to a new smart phone. A LONG story.....involving gin. The poor sole can barely text or make calls, the poor thing is a slow learner on the newer technologies! The phone will ring and he just shares at it. Cute to watch him fowl the phone all up, good for some laughs. Now.... some work will be comensating here at the Casa, so the Mistress should be back momentary. Enjoy the air now before the stench of Hendricks takes over. Please excuse me, for a now must take a houseboy roll call.

Becoming a Bostonian

At least for a couple days! Yes dear ones, I'm leaving the Casa du Borghese for a business trip and currently awaiting at the airport to catch my puddle jumper...

yikes....to head to Boston, per request, to our Chestnut Hill store for a prototype and to visually enhance a new section of shops that opened. My flying ensemble is a quite a swank one, for Chestnut Hill is a very swank area. I also had a lovely conversation with one colorful queen at the bar. I had on my I pod and must have been singing. He thought I sang good, but I told him his hearing must be bad. He said I should be in a choir. Almost did once, but I was enjoying life too much at the time. It was a toss up between whether I have fun with the boys, or join the choir. The choir lost. We were  just sitting, laughing, and regaling stories. A good time. He has since left. But truth be told, I almost didn't make it to the airport because of my ever faith full driver.....

....... insisted we stop for a rest, and some exercise.......

I'll be returning over the weekend, but I have left my Social Director, Ms.Moorecock in charge as usual , so if you stop by or have inquiries she will be more than happy to welcome you in and possibly have some gin tea with you. I hear she even has her frock and chapeau ready....... and ALL THAT HAIR!

So she will be here and ready to receive......did I say that out loud? Well if the heel fits. See ya soon! Tootles.

A Tisket of This, a Tasket of That

Well, well ,well, it seems forever since I was around, no? I have finally returned to my ever faithful Casa du Borghese.....

.......... and how I have missed you all! Now... I usually like to hibernate in the winter, but it seems others had plans for me. Since my absences, I have had two back to back business trips for some visual work at some of our other locations, a concert at the New Hope Winery with Duncan Sheif, a trip to the ancestral home, and a long weekend in New York at the fabulous Oheka Castle, but more on that later. But first I have some tidbits  of some tiskets and taskets I'd like to share and feel free to chime in on any subject.....

First things first. I sure hope my Social Director, Anitia Moorecock behaved and was a swell hostess?!?! She went through some stress whilst I was away. Since back I have sent her to Guatemala for some R&R.She just can't handle the boys.

American Horror Story season 2 ended. What a ride it was!!!! And did Jessica Lange not turn in yet another twisted performance? I can't believe it ended already. I have also heard that season three is already in the works with talk of witches, magic or some variation of the two, and how that will be incorporated with Murphy’s rather cryptic use of the term “evil glamour.“ Murphy says that Jessica has spent enough time in rags, and will be a glamour puss in the next season. Season three will also see the return Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters and from season 1 Taissa Farmiga.

It's been a tough week for Downton Abbey fans. I am still in mourning for Lady Sybil. But I'm more then happy to take up with Branson, and take that hot head Irishmen off the Crawley's hands!!!

While away, a saw a real live Citroen on the road, and now more than ever would love to have one. A vintage Citroen. Practical for me? No. Stylish? yes. I would look so cute behind the wheel.

Saw Max Ryan in a movie while away. He is so my new salt and pepper crush.

The team and I made trips to the showrooms again, and must say was in love with Christian Dior's Spring Collections......

........and even more happy that the peplum is back in vogue again on everything from jackets, to dresses, to the most basic of shirts. Women's clothing needs to get more feminine again.

It's a major treat to have RuPaul and the girls back again! All-Stars shows are such a cop out. And what a great collections of queens. Is it me or have Michelle's tits gotten even bigger??? She really could compete in the show if you ask me. I have seen many of these queens perform, and am pleased they are showing their true style. I have been very pleased with my girls Alaska, Roxxy and Detox. But I don't suspect Serena or Monica will be around much longer. Serena is about as useful as a glass hammer! Caught by surprise I was by Lineysha Sparx......

I had not seen or heard of her, but I am loving her lots! Great style, flawless paint, and old school drag and etiquette. Hmmmmmmm, she may be the surprise sleeper this season. Watch out gurrrrrrrls!

Finally, I am loving Christina Aguilera's new cd Lotus. Good Gawd does that girl have pipes on her! So glad she also left the Voice. A wise choice. She is getting re-grouped, spending time with her son, and continuing with new music. I love her, but lets hope she keeps away from the foods. Now I must get caught up with you all, so much reading to get caught up on. Now feel free to discuss, whilst I gather myself upon getting back today. Tootles!

Happy Holidays from the Casa du Borghese!

Look at the Mother arriving at the ancestral home. Is it any wonder where the Mistress gets her fashion sense?The Mistress and staff would like to wish you all a Very Merriest of holidays! I truly thank you all for always coming over to visit for a gin and leave some pretty funny comments! I love ya all! Now as I was wishing you all some merry jollies, the staff was pestering to wish you all happy holidays also.........

Anitia Moorecock, my ever reliable Social Director, who is quite a hand full and can get lippy at times, but she does look quite fabulous, and the girl has stunning hair! And yes, 494 butterflies died for the making of that dress!

The ever fabulous Ming Crystal, my official astrologer, will be back in the new year to answer more of your lives pressing questions.....

Driver........

Butler........

Gardner.......

Chef.........

And of course the famous Casa du Borghese houseboys........

And finally, here is your Mistress, not drinking ,but stuffing her face at a holiday party!

So the staff and I wish you all a Very Merry Christmas and a Wonderful New Year!!!! A Merry Christmas to you all and to all a good night.

XOXOXOXOX

Get Your Woody Serviced!

It is such a warm beautiful day today, the Mistress is off to make a house call to a sick friend. So I have decided to have the houseboys open up the Casa for a neigborhood car wash! That's how I roll. You didn't think I am popular here for my baked goods did you? So pull on up and have your old woody washed! It will be entertaining I'm sure! And my dear Cali Boi and Craig, I don't want to hear of multiple drive thru's! My social director Anitia Mooorecock will be on hand to pass round drinks!

So pull on in the gated drive for the fun to begin and get the machine washed, sparklin clean!

 Enjoy!!!!