AUNTIE FLAME

Over the weekend I had received sad new while at the Pride festivities. A very good friend and fellow blogger, who some of my longtime readers may know, Auntie Flame, also known as Joy , or Bernice, lol(Designing Women), who had her own trivia blog, Babble On, sadly passed on Friday. I had gotten a call from her grandson, and a text from my good friend and sister Mame, AKA David Dust of the sad news. Last time I had talked to Joy, she was in remission of the dreaded C word....and was going for treatment. But a turn for the worst the last couple weeks.  She wasn't feeling up to snuff. She was quite something if you knew her from her blog. Even in her later years girlfriend was with it, no grass grew under her feet. And she LOVED her gay boys! She used to say I and Mame were her adopted nephews.  I had the great pleasure to meet her twice when she came to Philly. 

And she wanted to see it all. We toured three museums that first trip and had a delicious dinner. Her two requests were to go to 1- the Naked Chocolate Cafe, now defunct, but my lands what a sinful place it was. It was an all-chocolate cafe. I can still recall the beverage she got. While we had dainty drinks...Joy, who loved chocolate went whole hog.

I can still hear her words..."I like it dark, and I like it large!" A size queen after my own heart. and 2- she wanted to go to the gay bar Woodys.  You wouldn't believe the things and conversations we'd have. She regaled to me how she was once even blacked balled in her community years back because she dated a black man. And she liked her men!  Any wonder we got along? Joy lived just outside Nashville and enjoyed being a school teach, English Lit for over 35 years, and a member of the Dickson County Board of Education. She loved her movies, listening to Irish music, traveling and especially anything and everything trivia. She was always quite entertaining on all our blogs. She hung her blog up years ago to spend time on Facebook, but we always kept in touch all these years. She was a life saver for me during the pandemic. We'd talk for hours. She too was a night owl, so at times we'd talk to the wee hours. And no subject seemed to be off limits. She was a complete hoot. She educated me on some classic books and movies I never saw or read, like the movie 1776. I always think of her after she sent me a copy of it and watch it. And I educated her on drag. We may have been years apart in age, but what an unexpected friendship. My friendship goblet feels a tad emptier without her in it. Never push anyway people...you never know where a good friendship will form, even off of blogs.

If any of you knew her or still talked to her on the phone or on socials, you can go here, to sign the memory guestbook for her family to add your condolences or memories of Joy. 

What a Dame! Joy was the perfect name for her.

IN THREE WORDS

In this feature, I'll share a weekly guest with you all, and you tell me in only three words what come to mind. This week, a legendary lady....

In Three Words...

Ruth Buzzi 

Ruth Buzzi

July 24, 1936-May 1, 2025

JIGGLY BOARD

It was sad news to learn yesterday on my way home that Queen Jiggly Caliente passed away. I had heard news last week from friends of her health failing and planned on doing a post of well wishes of sorts to send good vibes her way, only to hear her health declined further after a severe infection, was hospitalized, and as a result loss most of her right leg. Jiggly was a luminous presence in the world of drag and was celebrated for her infectious energy, fashion statements, fierce attitude, dance numbers and unwavering authenticity. Jiggly was also known by her real name of Bianca Castro-Arabejo as she came out as a transgender in 2016, while she had already begun the process while of RuPaul's Drag Race and publicly acknowledged it later. She went on the do an All-Stars season, became a regular on Pose and was later named the head judge of RuPaul's Drag Race Philippines for two seasons...in addition to an outspoken activist for the LGBT.Rest well Queen.

Go Girl......

"LOUISE" KEELEY

Gene Hackman was a brilliant actor. So many good juicy roles and he sank his teeth into every one them. From the time I saw him in The French Connection and Bonnie and Clyde I was hooked. But I have to admit the two scenes alone from the birdcage use to have me in stiches. Especially when he emerged from the back of the stage in full drag!!!! Gene Hackman in drag??? And he looks like so many local queens from many cities I met. I don't think there was a role he was afraid to take.

"No one will dance with me. I think it's this white dress. I told them white would make me look fat.

Gene Hackman

January 30,1930- February 27, 2025

The VIVIENNE

Sad new in the world of Drag. The Vivienne, who won huge fan affection for stunning style, sky high wigs, addictive personality and extremely funny comedic prowess, and owning of the runway passed away at the age of 32, yesterday. I adored Vivienne. Not only was she on the first season of RuPaul's Drag Race UK and won the title when it branched off into other countries, she also placed very high on the Drag Race All Stars version as well. Vivenne gained even further fans over her courted paise for mocking US President Donald Trump during the infamous Snatch Game and nailed it. Since then, the Vivienne went of to be featured in design house runway shows, a long run as the Wicked Witch of the West in London's musical tour of the Wizard of Oz and was currently playing the Childcatcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Not often such a stunning queen has such perfect comedic timing. What a joy she was. May the Vivienne rule the stage up in Fabulon.

James Lee Williams-the Vivienne

April 12, 1992- January 5-2025

NEW GIRL IN TOWN

 

Another great piece of my youth gone.

Linda Lavin

October 15 1937- December 29, 2024

PRESIDENT CARTER

 

The first President I can really remember clearly in my youth. And I surmise the last down to earth, honest, states men and humanitarian, and one of the biggest advocates for peace.  Presidents since should be as lucky to be as beloved as President Carter. Many lessons and things to be learned from listening to Carter.  Now he's with his beloved wife.

" We cannot be both the world's leading champion of peace and the world's leading supplier of weapons of war."

"We know that a peaceful world cannot long exist one third rich and two thirds hungry."

"If you don't want your tax dollars to help the poor. then stop saying you want a country based on Christian values, because you don't." 

President James Earl Carter Jr.

October 1, 1924- December 29, 2024 

A COLORFUL KALEIDOSCOPIC

And so, it has come to pass...a very rare bird, and of our Patron Saints at the Casa du Borghese, that of one fabulousness, in the form of Iris Apfel has blown the doors off Fabulon to enter it. Iris Apfel, an interior designer, art collector, fashion icon and designer, New York socialite, smart businesswoman and camp role model has passed on at the ripe age of 102 yesterday. Iris Apfel has been dishing a century's worth of advice to anyone who'd listen on how to define your own style and would take every opportunity she'd get to express her own joyous and creative point of view. And talk about Maximal style? She was the queen of laying anything and everything...a maximist to the extent and embodied her iconic fashion sense and employed her rich history of expertise in textiles that began when she was a young child creating schemes with her grandmother's fabric remnants. As a connoisseur of artistry, and textile maven herself, Iris's imaginable and dynamic taste is fervently infused in every pattern and color imaginable. Three worlds for Iris..Bold...witty and exuberant, not to mention eccentric. I had the pleasure to talk with her once, while working at Bloomingdales while doing a display as she walked past. She was tickled a young person even knew who she was I believe. But it would be unlawful as a gay man to not know who Iris Apfel was, at least in these parts. She was complimenting a display I was working on. I recall telling her of the finished display and how I might get a scold for doing what I wanted. I recall her advice being, "Color outside the lines sweetie, those that make their mark don't get there by coloring in the lines." And she was right. And if anyone lived by my favorite quote- " LIVE LIVE! Life's a banquet and some sorry suckers are starving." it was Iris Apfel. Even till her death she stayed colorful and took to Instagram in often colorful post, celebrating life. And if anything, she marched to her own drummer and didn't care of what people thought of her over the top style. Just because your in your elder years, doesn't mean living and having fun has to end. I couldn't agree more. One this rainy day, I'm sure New York feels ever gloomier.

Iris Apfel

August 29 1921- March 1 2024

XTRAVAGANZA

 

The exquisite Carmen Etravaganza, Mother of the House of Xtravaganza, several times... and who never needed anything but a hint of make-up to look like she'd stepped out of a fashion magazine. Her extreme beauty, flair for fashion and fun personality didn't just inspire Paris is Buring, she cemented her House's excellence, inspired countless ballroom participants, snatched dozens of trophies and even at times inspired this queen! Sadly, we lost Carmen over the weekend of lung cancer at the age of 62. She of course, like voguer Willie Ninja, Madonna's dancers, Jose and Luis Xtravaganza, Dorian Corey, and Crystal LaBeija, helped bring ballroom culture into the mainstream. Without legends like Carmen, there might not be a Pose, inspiration for the video Vogue, HBO'S Legendary, or the catch phrases of RuPaul's Drag Race... or even a Drag Race.

Throughout the 80's Carmen reigned on the runway of the most legendary house on the Ballroom scene... House of Xtravaganza and its lineup of "impossible beauties. Carmen was always very vocal about being trans and talking publicly about her transition. Her openness and bravery helped pave the way for others in the ball scene, not to mention from outside the ballroom scene. Carmen was born in Spain in 1961 and moved to New York in the very late 1970s. She began transitioning when she was only 16 and living in Washington DC. Carmen eventually moved back to Spain for a short time and worked in the fashion and nightlife industries before returning to the US and cementing herself in the New York City ballroom and nightlife scene for the next 30 years.

I remember well when I'd go up to the city to hang on weekends with my good friend and sister Mame, AKA David Dust, and others of our clan...and hit the clubs. We caught Carmen once- I was totally star stuck when I saw her perform one night at La Escuelita in Time Square along with another legend, the Lady Catira. Too see them runway and vogue was fucking spine tingling kids. I despise the word icon...it is sooooo overused, but NOT when it is used on Carmen. 10s-10s-10s, 10s across the board henny, and Xtrava Power Foreva! 

RIP Goddess.