HESTER FRUMP

If there is one thing I love, it's a campy, snarky, fashionable character. And as we are aware I watch very little American tv offerings, but one I fell in love with was Wednesday, a take on the life of Wednesday Addams. The first season was incredibly done. Plus, it had Gwendoline Christy. As if it could get any better, Burton went this season and added a Patron Saint of mine, the stunning Joanna Lumley to the cast as Hester Frump! A huge fan since the days of Jam and Jerusalem and, of course, Absolutely Fabulous...the actress can do no wrong. She has given a new life and purpose to a character we knew little of from previous incarnations of the show and movie, and grandma was basically nothing more than a bumbling mumbling side piece that time forgot in a gothic mansion. Lumley at 79, joined the cast at Tim Burton's request and so she lends her talents across this side of the pond playing Hester Frump as the wealthy and fashionable matriarch of the Frump family, and the owner of the largest outcast business in America, Frump Mortuaries. She is snarky, insulting, cold and sharp tongued, and is also the mother of Morticia Addams and Ophelia Frump. And while she has a good strong understanding relationship with her granddaughter Wednesday, she as a ghastly one with her own daughter Morticia. Staring with her disapproval of her marriage to Gomez. Needless to say, she is the first character in some time I have loved on a program. I dare say Absolutely Ghastly!

Her first appearance of the season was excellent! The only way to make me orgasm would be to add Helena Bonham Carter to the cast yet.

MOOD BOARD

 

I have a big old pot ready this morning! Hello ...and hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. I had a pretty good one, mostly busy with an event at the showroom on Saturday for a few hours and spent Sunday in the garden clipping and cleaning away browned and expired flowers and plants for the season...as the Season of Dead approaches. Thank heavens for the roses, salvia and a few other stalwarts giving us some color still. But it's another Monday, and of course we can never postpone Monday...except this week I did, I took off today since I worked Saturday! I nice lie in. I also enjoyed my first fire in the firepit of the season last night. It smelled heavenly. Along with a nice red wine.

The US currently! 

 Happy Monday dears!

USUAL SUSPECTS

 What with busy weekends and being away with travels, it's been a while since we have checked in with some of the usual suspects in the garden at the Casa du Borghese and the adjoining wood.  Still going through bird seed left and right. They must LOVE the special blend I get at True Value. I have also been seeing deer enter the yard in addition to the Red-Tailed Hawk being back and the white squirrel was seen again. Last week I was pottering around the garden when I heard a heck of a ruckus coming from behind me, only to find the hawk on the ground, with one of the squirrels in its clutches. Needless to say, the hawk has been catching a few birds and at least one chipmunk too. He's been seen every day this week, so I named him, Jabberwock. The only thing to come to mind to tell the usual suspects was from Alice in Wonderland- 

"Beware the Jabberwock my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch." 

Bouvier II

Carnage...Jabberwock got a garden mouse.

The first Balitmore Oriole I have ever seen around here.

A pileated Woodpecker. It looked huge!

More carnage....a small rabbit.

And my breakfast today! What weekends are for!

FOR A LIMITED TIME!

 

I hear it's very dim though. And overpriced by $85.

TGIF!!!!

Let the amusements begin! 

That might be one ride I'm on all day. Looks fun!

GIN TALK

 

So, the other day.... I had got an email from dear reader Tim asking about dating and other things. Based on his email here's some advice. Since coming out and being in several relationships, my time now is for me and I'm not settling down until I feel it's the right time and the right man. Otherwise, I'm having fun damn it. I had a therapist once that told me money or men won't solve my problems, so I fired her ass, went on a men bender and a shopping spree at Bloomies! And certain friends, couples. tell me to settle down again, I'm too vivacious. Hey, they stay home because they want too, so I tell them I go out and date and have a few because I want to. Don't judge me fuckers! So Tim here's some tips from someone burnt a few times.

1-Date who you want. If it feels right, who cares. Age is a number. People ask why I date men half my age. Let me put it this way, most my age, are like parking spots, The good ones are taken, and the rest are all fucking handicap.

2, A man who can't match your lifestyle is just extra baggage. And it's safe to say I don't need any more of the shit.

3-Trust me when I say your standards aren't too high, their efforts are just too low. Move on already

4- Sweetheart, if their gossiping about you, you already won. If you haven't noticed, no one talks about boring people.

5-Stop proving your worth to people who can't even afford your friendship. I did that in my 20's and it's draining.

6-Oh, and those who clap when you fail will always have front row seats to your success, so ignore them and keep shinning on ho!

7- And while you're at it, cut off those fake ass friends like split ends. Trust me when I say growth looks better without them.

8-Don't marry for money, marry for love. But just make sure you're in the right fucking zip code.

9-Stop dating lazy men. Does a crack head say he can't get high today, because he's broke? No. They make it happen.

10-It's time you start treating dating like it's a business. If he's not performing, fire that brokie before he bankrupts you.

11- If his shoes cost less than your manicure, he's not your soul mate honey, he's your dependent.

12-If he tells you your too high Maintenace, tell him he's too low income. Simple economics.

13- When I get asked what I bring to the table, I say I'm not a fucking waitress.

14-If the dinner bill comes and he hesitates, congratulations! You're dating a roommate with benefits.

15-He says he's working on himself. Thats code word for he's a brokie. Swipe left and send him a bill for wasting your time.

16-Enought of this he has potential. He's 35 with no headboard and a Walmart pillow.

17- And for god sake, don't ever try to change a man, just change the man instead.

18-Don't date men with meme and brit coin. I did once, he thought he was the shit. With a million bucks he was the poorest rich man in America, Congratu-fucking-lations.

19-And how you ask do I keep my men happy?  Keep his stomach full, his balls empty, your ex blocked, and your jaw unlocked.

20-And don't ever let your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband. If you're not married, your single!!!!

HA HA  HA HA HA HA 

Did I just give all this advice out for free?

PRSIDENTAL MAKE-OVER

 I was dying when I was getting caught up on Insta with friends, I'm only on once a week, and on the page of an acquaintance of mine from Philly, William. Mr William Sprek . He is a complete hoot. He just proves you can be a teacher and was already once voted teacher of the year several years ago, he also does therapy and is part autistic. Not to mention is easy on the yes and considers himself a comedian. He should be...I like his form of jokes and snarky side...and he is one of the sweetest guys around. I told him he needs to do stand up.  But this just had me roaring. Not many men can show me a good time, at least while being in an upright position.

And on a side note, I don't watch any late-night talk shows, but did tune in to see Kimmel's return. So glad he didn't cave, stuck to his guns, didn't donate any money to a hate fund, and still spoke his mind, and did it is a classy, intelligent way. Bravo Jimmy!!!

I hear the City Dump is FUMING.

SEEN IN FIRE ISLAND

I have another few posts from Barbados to share yet but thought we'd jump to some Fire Island postcards first. If the first leg of the trip wasn't enough, and granted, that was very relaxing, Labor Day found us back in the US and on Fire Island with most of the Clan for some debauchery. For many of the clan, it was meeting Warbucks for the first time. All went well, and he fit right in with my crazy circle, and he loved Fire Island. I didn't make Fire Island last year and hard to top the last visit what with getting scolded by Patti Lupone herself for the Lad and I making out by an exit. I adore Fire Island and think it should be mandatory for every gay to experience it at least once. I love it. SO GAY...the drag queens, the beaches, the gay antics and flirting, the Meat Racks, the boardwalk paths, the deer everywhere, and seeing many of the Horace Gifford houses of the Pines, and the campy and quaint Cherry Grove. Finding the perfect spot to get nude and catch some rays. We had a blast and at least one party to attend. One nights dinner consisted of about 24 queens!!!!

Look at the Livingroom view of the house we were in! And one couldn't be shy to use the bathroom!

I don't think I'll ever get over seeing deer at the beach! And they are quite daring and will get very close to you.

Sorry for the blur, but these deer were jumping.

Not deer.

MM#1 Fan and the Mistress catching some rays.

 

Preston and MM#1 Fan up to something.

Shadow puppets. Can you even believe such lewd acts going on???? Who'd do such a thing???

Pansy...a drag legend and a past Empress of the Imperial Court of New York.

Your Mistress's comfort shoes.

Impromptu boardwalk parade!

And this was seen walking the day we arrived from the ferry. Like I said you never know what you may see!

BUT BREAKING!

 I was HEARTBORKEN from news after our visit, when I got a text and picture from my friend Jamie who stays in Fire Island all summer. The text included a picture of the flags on the dock in Cherry Grove all flying at half-mast. Below the picture it said flags flying half-mast in honor of Kirk. I thought it was a joke and said this better be for William Shatner as Captain Kirk? He said no you dope; it's for Charlie Kirk. The CGAA dock master decided after he was threatened by officials from Brookhaven county with consequences if he didn't follow the national directive. I was aghast. It felt like a gut punch to the stomach. It was one thing to lower the American flags, but the gay pride flags too? For a man who's hate speech against our community caused so much suffering felt like an assault, a hate crime, a gay bashing, with our very own flag!! Cherry Grove and the Pines Fire Island has been a huge safe haven for the LGBTQ+ for decades, a refuge from an intolerant world. And now we were honoring a man whose very ideals are like acid and being thrown in our faces. This person would NEVER step foot in Fire Island and yet there he was, even after his death, his presence being seen, his menacing presence flaunted over our sacred little town.... the flags... half mast, all of them. But there is a dark underbelly to this town. There are a few trump loving business owners there who love him, just waiting to take our beloved rainbow flag and rise it at half-mast for a rancid, homophobe. I don't know how we come back from this. Our sweet, fun and safe Fire Island has been violated by their wickedness.