Wednesday, April 30, 2014

A GLAMOROUS NEW YOU

I have often been asked," Mistress, why is it people find you so glamorous?" Well, I tell you, it  is easy and one doesn't really need to spend much money, except for maybe a few basic staple pieces. I'll let you all in on some of my steps to being glamorous.....

         
Faint a Lot
There is nothing more glamorous than fainting into the arms of some handsome man while you wear your most elegant frock.

Make sure that Everything out of your mouth is a line from a Grace Kelly movie

Just memorize Rear Window and To Catch A Thief and you're set. Of course, you'll have a hard time actually communicating with people since nothing you say will be in context, or they will just think your drunk, but whatever, your words will be too elegant for anyone to care.

Strike a Pose
 
Whether your at the office, in the park, at dinner with friends, or having drinks, and especially  when you have the hottie your interested in over, always sit or stance in glamorous, seductive poses. And before bed, the above is a regular pose for the Mistress. Hey, if you want him to know there is steak for dinner, you got to let him hear the sizzle!
 

Take photos in front of luxury cars that you definitely don't own

Make sure to explain how all of those cars you're being photographed with are either yours or some family member's. Of course, run away from the scene if you catch the owner of the car running towards you.

 

 
Tell people that you're wearing designer clothes at any opportunity
 
Of course, you have to say this with an air of carelessness. "Oh, I do hope that my Chanel sunglasses don't scratch." Of course, they're not Chanel. You bought them at Claire's a few years ago but nobody has to know that.

 

Hats,Hats,Hats

The Mistress firmly believes in big, huge, glamorous hats, the kind that yourself and four houseboys can fit under at once. Day, night, doesn't matter to me. Hats scream glamor. And with me it's bigger the better. Go big or go home I say!

 
Sunnies
 
Sunglasses of all style are a automatic touch of glam, so much sure you have various styles and shapes. They not only give a air of glam and mystery, but you can also check out all the hunks without them knowing.
 
 

Listen to 'Glamorous' By Fergie every morning

Best motivation. This is your new hymn.
 

Snatch the emblem from the hood of some fancy car and stick it onto yours

I heard that a combination of hot glue and duct tape will really do the trick and help it stick. You'll be rollin' up everywhere lookin' fly. " What? That's not a Saturn, it's a limited edition Jag, darling, only 20 were ever made!
 
 

Wear your pets around your shoulders

It's the closest thing you've got to rocking a Cruella Deville dalmatian coat, okay. Work with what you've got.


Would the Mistress steer you wrong? Now lets all have a G&T shall we?

 

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

GRANDE DAME

Maddelynn Hatter is one of the most striking queens of looks on the mainstream scene in NYC. Between her yellow eyes, big hair, snatched (usually florescent), trademark eyebrows , and candy-painted smirk, all eyes are on her when she enters the room.I have always enjoyed a Maddelynn show, and when you see one you won't soon forget it. She also wins the padding award. Not only does she have one of the best drag asses in NYC, but the way she uses her body during performances to create shapes is absolutely amazing! The Mistress,  promoters and queens agree: she’s a dream to work with. AND she sews her own clothes. AND makes her own wigs. Ugh. Just makes me wonder if she will be on the next season of Dragrace!?!?! Maddelynn is definitely on my list of top ten entertaining queens.

Check Maddelynn out at:
• Wednesdays: Real Deal @ The Ritz• Thursdays: Q @ Marquee • Fridays: Penthaus @ Copacabana

 

HAND ME MY SMELLING SALTS!!!!!!!!

 
Someone please, anyone, hand me my smelling salts!!!!!
 
I am still reeling after the Drag Race last night. Have RuPaul and the judges got serious cataracts, or have they been doing this too long to judge anymore?!?!?!? How , how is that bitter fat cup still on the show!?!?! You'd think the stage hands and set decorators would get tried of reinforcing the stage and runway week after week!!!! I went and looked. Darienne has won one challenge and placed high on another, but was consistently in bottom two, or rated low, yet she is STILL there. Ru and the other two, have been over critical on other queens in the past and gotten rid of them quick so what's the deal?!??
 
So my favor is would someone swing by the Cheesecake Factory and get a cheesecake and go lure her off the damn set. Actually, make that two.

Monday, April 28, 2014

DARE YOU TO KEEP A DRY EYE

A while back I had seen this post over at my lovely blogger pal Lenore Nevermore's blog and I  had been meaning to share it. I just love animals of all sorts, and it's amazing to see how much more there is to them. This story was worth sharing....

This little bird was apparently injured along the roadside.......
 
 
It's mate located the other, and brought food and love to it continually.....
 
 
after some time, the little bird was surprised by it's mate death and tries to revive her....
 

squawking and squawking away in bird language , very upset.....

He is now aware his mate isn't coming back and cries.....
 

He is devastated by the loss and stood beside
her lifeless body......
                            
 Oh dear, it's a lovely story, sad, but pretty. Who can argue that animals of all kinds don't have feelings, and are more intelligent than we think. The last two really got the water works going with me..... but I hate to leave on a sad note, so here is a fun shot of two good friends.....another amazing bond!

Sunday, April 27, 2014

THE FINISH LINE APPOACHES

 WELL, WELL WELL, here we are already the final five!!!! When I did my initial post,  the five queens in the top five are close to what I picked, and it was interesting to see the order I picked from beginning to end,  compared to how it panned out. The biggest shock was seeing Kelly Mantle go first. But the rest followed suit pretty close to my predictions, with the exception of Milk and Adore. I thought for sure it would be Milk in the top 5 along with Adore being 6th. Josyln made it much further then I ever expected, and I'm glad for her. Heaven knows she can't act or lip sync her way out of a paper bag, and her high NRG dancing needs work, but she is so frickin adorable, and paints up real nice. I'd meet her for a drink any time, she seemed like a lot of fun. She gets my surprise hit of the season award. My initial order was...

 

14- Magnolia Crawford, 13- Vivacious, 12-Joslyn Fox 11-Gia Gunn 10-April Carrion 9-Laganja Estranja 8-Darienne Lake 7-Trinity K Bonnet  6- Adore Delano 5-Kelly Mantle  4-Milk  3-Courtney Act 2-BenDeLa Crème Winner-Bianca Del Rio

 
 But here is how I think the season will pan out from here......
 
5-DARIENNE LAKE
 
I know I will regret this, but I have the feeling she will beat out Adore for top four. But lately she has been on the bottom.  It amazes me this bitch is still here. It is driving me nuts. I have no idea what is going on with RuPaul and the judges. I had high hopes for Darienne to place mid way. But she’s got a really bitter, nasty streak when someone outdoes her that’s really unpleasant. She is the nasty queen back stage you hear of.  And do they not see she only as one look it seems,  and how she got past the Talk Show Host episode is beyond me. That was a major disaster to watch, and she is no Lattrice Royale to make it this far. If a big girl should win, it should have been her. Lattrice had way more style, class, and a funny side than this Great Lake!!!
 
4-Adore Delano
 
I had a feeling Adore would place high, but not top 5. While she does have a great look some weeks, I don't think she is winning the season. But she better beat that big bitch this week and send her packing!!!!! I find Adore oddly endearing, even though she’s a hot mess. She’s kind of like a Labrador retriever puppy — if you can stand to get through this early phase of her drag life with her chewing up all your high steppers and pissing on the rug, you might just end up with something really lovely. I think Ru also sees a ton of potential in her and that’s why she’s been so forgiving of Adore’s missteps. But who really thinks Adore can win? Even Adore doesn’t think Adore can win.
 
3-Courtney Act
 
Going into this there was no question this already well known queen would be top 5. Courtney has been consistent,  but underwhelming in my opinion, so she won't win. I was expecting great things when I found out that she was part of this cast, but I’ve yet to be wowed, except for the pearl clutching moment of the bird wings!!!!. Don't get me wrong,  she is fabulous and stunning as hell, she’s giving me Olivia Newton John realness with the Aussie bit, and has legs more fishier than Long John Silvers on Good Friday. Courtney has really grown on me, both as a performer and because she seems like a genuinely nice person. When Great Lakes, Darienne was saying she should go on The Biggest Loser so she could find a nice man, and Courtney said, “You can find yourself a nice man looking just like that…” she won me over completely. I do feel she was cast just to get viewers in, with her being already well known. I don’t give a shit if she can’t make costumes or do impressions of celebrities. I would fuck Courtney Act. In drag, out of drag, either way.
 
2-BenDelaCreme
 
Just this Friday night I had the privilege of seeing this fabulous queen right here at Voyeur Nightclub in Philly where she brought the house down and is every bit the sweetheart you would expect her to be. I think BenDeLaCreme is lovely. Always pulls it off with great style. At first I thought she was just Michelle Visage’s twin brother,  but she has now done other looks successfully. I don’t see anything stopping her for second place.  DeLa’s experience with theater and music should put her in a fantastic position, and she for the most part has been consistent, but I think her closeness in style and talent and quirkiness, being so close to her friend Jinkx won't give her the win. It would be like Jinkx winning again.
 
 
So that leaves Miss Bianca Del Rio to take the win.......
 
Bianca really is the whole complete package of a drag queen with just enough campy bitchiness.  She has great style, is always flawless and is down right funny. And she has fabulous lashes for days!!!! Loved the Judge Judy, her and Ben stole the whole Snatch Game.I really like Bianca for her commentary.
 
At first Bianca’s jokes were like bad Don Rickles rejects. But she relaxed and got into the groove. Her one liners are slick as goose shit going threw a brass horn.  She is so polished and confident, I felt like she already won the whole thing from the beginning.  Bianca is far and away my favorite and has been. She is also already a legend in New York and New Orleans, and historically the queen who wins the most challenges has won the whole season. If someone is looking for the whole package- Bianca is the ticket.
 
 
So what's your thoughts kittens?

Saturday, April 26, 2014

SPRING IS HERE

Today was the most excellent day to get out, sunny beyond belief, blue skies, a light breeze and a nice warm temp to hit the skin. It put me in the mood to go to the local nursery to purchase two more orchids to join my one lonely one. It was time for the spring apothecaries..... time to put the Easter eggs away.
 
The pink magnolia tree out in the courtyard greets me every day.......
 
 
 
I decided to do all live apothecary jars, along with some nest and birds..... lets cross fingers I have a green thumb*****
 
 
 
Puts me in the mood for some Ella singing Spring is Here. She is just flawless in this song.

FROM THE CANDY SHOP

I am offering up some very chic and decadent eye candy in today's  Candy Shop!!!!! You know, the kind where you can't stop tasting it??? Over all handsome, nice curves and muscle, a mischievous look,then there's that sexy moustache, and enough of a daddy factor to get me purring!!!! I also love a man who has fun with fashion.... And talented too!
 
 
 Douglas Friedman, is one of my favorite photographers. You can see my post here of some of his amazing fashion work. And you so know his work, at least from those hot and zesty Kraft commercials he was the brains behind, with the barely covered hot hunk in various poses and settings. Douglas Friedman was born and raised in New York City in 1972. He studied Anthropology and Documentary Film Making at Occidental College in Los Angeles. Post graduation, Douglas worked for a few years making movies in the film industry. He returned to NYC in the late 90's to begin a serious study of photographic technique and theory. His fascination with architecture and design found its way into his work and shortly thereafter, Douglas was shooting stories for Wallpaper, Domino and Elle Décor magazines. Douglas is a bold-faced name for more than just his photography. As a darling of the young international social set who gravitate towards the worlds of fashion and art, he frequently finds himself on the other side of the lens as well. His charisma and charm are as infamous as his movie-star looks and his signature 70's moustache. Douglas currently divides his time between Los Angeles and New York. www.douglasfriedman.net
 
 
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